Ever since he was elected president of the United States, I've been a vociferous critic of Donald Trump. But now I realize how wrong I've been.
A recent statement by Trump points to a solution to not only the COVID-19 crisis, but every conceivable problem that afflicts our planet.
I bow down before the glory of this single marvelous sentence which, in eight carefully crafted words, cuts through the thicket of confusion that has prevented humanity from dealing with so many issues that have bedeviled people for millennia.
Trump, though, did expand upon this unsurpassed wisdom in a tweet.
Thank you, President Trump. We now know that not only would there be very few coronavirus cases if testing for COVID-19 infections ceased, also...
Breast cancer would be a thing of the past if women stopped having mammograms.
Global warming would disappear if greenhouse gas levels weren't measured.
Deaths would shrink to almost zero if obituaries weren't published.
Fevers would stop bothering people if thermometers were banned.
Obesity would be eliminated if there were no scales.
Wrinkles would cease to worry older people if all mirrors were shattered.
Bad news would vanish if journalists found other professions.
Student achievement would skyrocket if tests stopped being used.
Crimes would be negligible if FBI statistics weren't reported.
Of course, I have merely scratched the surface of the marvelous improvements to human life if Trump's genius becomes more widely recognized, as it should be.
My profound hope is that after January 2021 Donald Trump will be relieved of his duties as President, thereby freeing up his time to pursue the many avenues of improvement that build upon his groundbreaking insight that if no attempt is made to recognize a problem, the problem ceases to exist.