HinesSight

Universe to Salem: "When in doubt, let it out!"

I rarely channel the Universe, because I'm usually dubious that it has a message for me, or anyone else.

But the recent toxic algae water crisis here in Salem must have caused my cosmic connection to become more finely-tuned, since I'm picking up a communication for our city from the Universe that's coming in loud and clear.

When in doubt, let it out!

After all, the numero uno problem with how the folks at City Hall handled the cyanotoxin water tests was their mistaken decision to keep the initial positive test results to themselves, instead of immediately telling the public, We have a problem, and here's what it means.

In other words, when they had a chance to let the results out, their inclination was, No, let's not. 

Now, the good news is that the Oregon Health Authority is poised to issue rules that require municipalities to both test for cyanotoxins and to notify the public of test results. So in one sense the crisis in Salem is over, and likely won't be repeated.

At least, not in the same way. 

However, I see this as a learning opportunity not only for City officials, but for everybody in Salem. By and large (an important caveat), this town would be a more pleasant place to live if we all embraced the adage...

When in doubt, let it out!

OK, it's reasonable to ask, let what out? Well, here's a few examples that I'm letting out of my mind.

Ideas
Creativity
Information
Sexual orientation
Political leaning
Art
Sense of style
Irritations
Athleticism
Joy
Sorrow
Compassion
Intelligence
New business notions
Visions of the future
Dance moves

Regarding the latter, whenever I need to be reminded of the desirability of letting go and getting out of my own way, I head on over to You Tube and bask in the two-minute delight of Twitch and Alex dancing hip-hop on So You Think You Can Dance to a cleaned-up version of Outta Your Mind by Lil' Jon.

OK, I readily admit that it is difficult for me to envision the Mayor, city councilors, City Manager, Public Works Director, or other officials dancing away like this when they're contemplating how to respond to some issue in Salem.

I'm just sayin' that the energy, looseness, and vitality of Alex and Twitch is what we need more of in Salem, both outside and inside City Hall. Again...

When in doubt, let it out!

With the above-mentioned caveat. Nobody likes unfettered expression of hate speech. Nobody likes loud mouths who don't let others express themselves. Nobody likes boring unfiltered monologues. Sometimes it is necessary to keep what's inside ourselves shut tight within our craniums.

But most of the time, it'd be good to let it go more than we do.

Too often we're fearful. Of what might happen if other people knew how we really feel. Of how information we share might be used against us. Of being viewed as rabble-rousers, discontents, eccentrics, weirdos, unhinged, too far out there.

I'll end with an excerpt from former FBI director James Comey's book, "A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and Leadership." I read a few pages every day, stifling my inclination to skip right to the Good Parts about Trump. 

Here's Comey talking about meetings of a 12-member FBI team charged with investigating the Clinton email server.

Some members moved in and out as a few senior executives retired, but the group remained a collection of very bright people with strong personalities, who frequently clashed with one another, as siblings might. I liked that.

One of the junior lawyers was given to exhaling in disgust at statements she didn't like and then interrupting aggressively, no matter who was speaking. This annoyed many of her colleagues. I loved it. I wanted her on the team because she didn't care about rank at all.

Her directness added value even when she was wrong. I wanted to hear her perspective and knew it would come without prompting, even if she interrupted a senior official to offer it. That interruption would stimulate great conversation.

So my caveat about loud mouths who don't let others express themselves has a caveat of its own. Sometimes this is OK, even desirable. Thought Comey himself clearly has flaws and weaknesses, I really liked what he said in that excerpt. He's a fan of...

When in doubt, let it out! 

The good side of "strange," as in... Strange Up Salem

Several years ago I realized that I wanted to strange up Salem. It just seemed so right.

I didn't spend a lot of time -- well, actually not any time -- pondering what "strange" meant before I dived into writing a Strange Up Salem column for our city's alternative paper, Salem Weekly, from 2013 to 2015. 

I'm still strangeing away on a Strange Up Salem Facebook page. (Give it a like! I love likes!) 

Yesterday someone left a visitor post that simply said, No, let's not.

That shocked me. How could anyone be opposed to strangeness? It's obviously so wonderful! But then I realized that I'd never paid much attention to what "strange" meant. I just felt it was a really good thing. 

Because I've always been attracted to the positive connotations of strangeness. Which, after some Googling of "strange definition," were found to include:

not before known, heard, or seen
exciting wonder or awe
different from what is usual, normal, or expected
out of the ordinary

So, yeah!, I sure do want to Strange Up Salem. Let's make Oregon's capital city a fresh discovery, inspiring wonder, better than expected, way more than ordinary. 

Defining strange, though, is much different from the experience of strange. A definition is conceptual; an experience is, obviously, experiential. 

Everybody is different. One person can look upon something and find it appealingly strange. Another person can see the same thing and feel repelled by its strangeness. After all, "strange" also connotes:

not comfortable or at ease
alien, foreign
causing puzzlement, perplexing
not relaxed

But maybe these supposedly negative aspects of strangeness aren't so different from the positive aspects. After all, who wants to be always comfortable, surrounded by the familiar, cushioned by certainty, relaxed and at ease?

Strange often feels like a jolt. A waking-up. A shock. A shove. 

We're propelled out of a habitual way of experiencing the world. Yes, this can be disconcerting. Also, exhilarating. Or at least, a pleasurable break from a sojourn in the ordinary.

I'm a fan of the Walking Company's Abeo LiTe shoes. (Yes, the brand has a capital "T" in its name -- strange!)

When I saw that a new color, orange, had been added to the men's line, my reaction was a blend of attraction and uncertainty/puzzlement. I'd never had a pair of orange shoes. Viewing them online, I felt they were appealingly colorful. 

But maybe... too garish? 

"Screw it!" was my next thought. I ordered the shoes. Now, I like them a lot. I've had people I don't know comment positively about them. 

I've worn the shoes quite a few times. I always enjoy the flash of color on the bottom of my legs as I walk along. Yet there's also a certain unsettling sense that comes with wearing the shoes. I've been so used to gray, black, and other subtler-hued shoes, the orange jolts me a bit with every step.

In a good way.  

This is how I want Salem to make me feel. Alive. Unique. Different. Bold. Expressive. 

In short, strange.

Here's all of my Strange Up Salem columns

A couple of days into the New Year, today I felt a strong desire to complete an undone resolution -- get all of my Salem Weekly Strange Up Salem columns uploaded into one freaking long blog post.

But it's "just" 4,400 words. The 49 columns total almost 25,000 words, being 500 words each. Each one is perfect bathroom reading! (depending on your toilet habits)

For each column below you'll find a title, download link, and an excerpt that gives a feel for what the column is about. 

I enjoyed digging up the columns -- OK, not literally -- and recalling what I'd said in them. They ran in Salem Weekly from May 2013 to May 2015. Now I'm focused on my Strange Up Salem Facebook page. Give it a like!

I tried to balance the personal and the political, strangeness being a quality of each.

One reason I put this compendium together is to make it easier to find the columns myself. As I made PDF files out of each one, I was surprised by how I'd already forgotten many of the subjects I wrote about. 

And I came across two bonus columns that were written, but not published in Salem Weekly. These are at the end of the list.

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I Know What You Want
Download 1 SUS column PDF

At the risk of sounding like a phone sex line... I know what you want. You’re hungry for it. You’re hot for it. You’ve gotten tantalizing glimpses of what you lust for, but it’s been frustratingly out of reach.

What I’m talking about is a stranger Salem. Meaning, a city with sights, sounds, people, places, and other delights that make us go ooh, ah, and give me more rather than ho-hum, so lame.

Strange Is Life
Download 2 SUS column PDF

Strange is life. At the core of each of us beats a marvelous heart of strangeness. We feel it pulsating in ooh! and ah! moments when a burst of mysterious beauty breaks through the mundane veil that often shrouds our consciousness.

Cities also have a heart of strangeness. Downtown. A dynamic core where people congregate to live, work, and play, celebrating the diversity of their individual strangenesses.

A Strange Creature
Download 3 SUS column PDF

Have you heard the rumor? Of a strange creature roaming the trails of Minto Brown Island Park. It’s like nothing seen before. Fortunately, it elicits smiles rather than screams.

The rumor is true, because I am that creature. A senior citizen skateboarder.

Keep Fighting, Good Citizens of Salem
Download 4 SUS column PDF

Viva la Revolution! Ongoing variety. After Americans revolted in 1776 against an external oppressor, Great Britain, we’ve continued to fight against internal threats to democracy, liberty, and the broad public interest.

So here’s a big shout-out to the citizen activists in Salem who protest wrongs that need to be righted. Without your forebears, we wouldn’t have a country.

Support New Cool Local Businesses
Download 5 SUS column PDF

So what’s the deal? Salem is just a few thousand people away from being the second biggest city in Oregon. Yet we lack many cool businesses that residents of much smaller towns are able to enjoy.

Seems to be a chicken and egg problem.

A cool business won’t expand into Salem unless it can be sure there are enough cool-appreciating people in the area who will patronize it. But Salem isn’t going to attract more cool-appreciating people so long as this town deserves its So-lame nickname.

Salemia's Twitter Frenzy
Download 6 SUS column PDF

In 2011 Salemia touched off a craze among Salem’s Twittersphere. It began when filmmaker Mike Perron tweeted, “Salemia. Opening scene: five hipsters fighting over a half smoked cigarette outside Chelsea's place...”

...Here’s some favorites from the first wave of #Salemia tweets.

• Woman choosing the right pajamas for going to Winco. At 12:30 in the afternoon.

• Visitors mistakenly believe zombie apocalypse has hit the town because shops close and streets empty before dark.

Don’t Mess With Riverfront Park
Download 7 SUS column PDF

Salemians love their Riverfront Park. They don’t want part of this “treasure” (oft-heard word at the last City Council meeting) handed over to a private developer for an access road to Pringle Square.

Watching the meeting via CCTV,  I was moved by how passionate people were about preserving the Carousel. Shrinking its parking lot and putting a road next to the area where excited children jump out of cars struck many as a really bad idea.

Mountain West Investment, Be Creative With Riverfront
Download 8 SUS column PDF

Well, Mountain West Investment made some little plans without blood-stirring magic.

They won’t be realized, mostly because taking over part of the Carousel parking lot for a private access road to apartments on the west side of the railroad tracks ran afoul of a federal funding commitment the City made to keep Riverfront Park in public recreational use for perpetuity. Forever.

Now the outline of a better plan for the Boise Cascade property is becoming clear: make all of the land west of the tracks part of Riverfront Park.

Political Games Played With Downtown Parking
Download 9 SUS column PDF

Here’s my plea to City Councillors and the Mayor: be honest and straightforward with the citizens of Salem.

If you truly favor free downtown parking, say so. Urge citizens to vote “yes” on the initiative in May 2014. If it passes, collaborate with the Stop Downtown Parking Meters folks to make this policy a success. Amazingly, no one from the City has talked to them before or after they got those 9,000 signatures.

Time For a Shake-Up at City Hall
Download 10 SUS column PDF

Now that I’ve become involved with City issues like the unjustified removal of the US Bank trees; building an unneeded, unwanted, and unpaid for $600 million Third Bridge; attempted imposition of parking meters against the wishes of downtown businesses; and secretive planning for an expensive City Hall renovation that would do away with the Peace Plaza, I realize that the City has the same problem as the County:

Viewing citizen involvement as a problem to be brushed aside, rather than as an opportunity to make better decisions.

Relish Every Taste of Strangeness
Download 11 SUS column PDF

Recently I became Medicare-eligible. That’s right, I’m freaking 65! I’m waiting to become both older and wiser. Not at all sure about the latter. But here’s some of what I’ve learned about strangeness.

Venerate it, (along with elders like me, naturally).

Looking back at your life, likely what will stand out are the weirdest, strangest, most peculiar experiences. Normalcy, routine, averageness -- those aspects tend to fade into the background.

If This Town Was a Woman Named “Saleme”
Download 12 SUS column PDF

Salem needs a vision check. In this sense: what sort of desired image does our city have of itself, and how well are we moving toward that vision?

Let’s imagine a woman named Saleme.

She has a certain vibe about her. She’s unique, as everyone is. How Saleme feels inside about herself, she wants to express outside in the way she dresses, acts, talks, and such.

Your Planet Has a Population of 1
Download 13 SUS column PDF

Be yourself. And let the world be itself.

Eight words. Which do a damn good job of summing up my lifetime of philosophizing, spiritual seeking, pondering the Meaning of It All.

The strangest thing is you, me, every individual. Inside the human cranium is an utterly private realm, unknown to anyone but the consciousness that experiences it from the inside.

Some Talking Could Save $30 Million
Download 14 SUS column PDF

After several years of mostly-secret meetings, City officials are running around town pushing a plan to build a new three-story Police Facility with expensive underground parking at the Civic Center.

Cost: $44 million. However, the City of Eugene recently remodeled an existing building into a similarly-sized police headquarters for $17 million.

Salem Community Vision, a group working to improve local government decision-making through more citizen involvement, is asking why less expensive alternatives to the $44 million Civic Center Police Facility haven’t been seriously considered.

How Salem Can Become Happy Town
Download 15 SUS column PDF

Urban design isn’t rocket science, complex and only comprehended by a few. Each of us is an expert on happiness: our own. We all can do some urban experimentalism.

What places in Salem make you smile inside? What places make you go “Ugh, I can hardly wait to get out of here”? (I say: downtown’s Court Street and Lancaster Drive, respectively.)

We Are Salemians, Not Salemites
Download 16 SUS column PDF

I have a dream. A cause. Something offering meaning to my life. A goal that proclaims, “This man fights for what is right.”

I hereby proclaim that I devote myself to…

Making “Salemian” the word used to describe the people of Salem, not the horrible, distasteful, disgusting, so-wrong “Salemite.”

From No Way! to Better Way
Download 17 SUS column PDF

Salemians who stopped last year’s poorly thought-out Boise Cascade redevelopment plan, pat yourselves on the back (or wherever you like to be patted).

Saying No Way! to a land grab of part of beloved Riverfront Park, the Carousel parking lot, for an access road to apartments that would loom over the forthcoming pedestrian bridge to Minto Brown Island — that led to a Better Way.

Explore These Salem Blogs
Download 18 SUS column PDF

I encourage you to discover a largely hidden side of Salem: its blogosphere.

Out in cyberspace, Salem bloggers urge us to wake up to what our city can become; they critique its urban design polices; they praise the creativity of Salemians. And more!

I’ve focused on blogs because they’re a Middle Way. More substantive than ephemeral Twitter and Facebook. Less stodgy than a typical steadfast web site.

Slow Down For Strangeness
Download 19 SUS column PDF

To some, calling our city “Snailem” is a putdown. But there’s a lot to like about slowing down.

This lets us sense the sweet strangeness of existence that often goes unnoticed. Marcel Proust said: “The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”

Slowing facilitates that fresh vision.

Save Lives. Wear a Purple Sticker.
Download 20 SUS column PDF

I’m talking about the City of Salem’s $80 million plan to build a new police headquarters at the Civic Center, along with renovating City Hall and the Library.

With financing costs added, the total balloons to $128 million. Who pays? You do, if you live in Salem.

The good news is that Salem Community Vision (SCV), a group I’m involved with, has come up with a half-price alternative, $40 million, or $64 million including financing.

Build the police headquarters out in the community, not at the Civic Center.

Spice Up Salem With a Dash of Novelty
Download 21 SUS column PDF

Our town’s blandness can be viewed as a creative strength. A dash of color in a black-and-white world dazzles the eye. Imagine trying to stand out as a moviemaker in Hollywood.

As the saying goes, in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king. Let loose your novelty powers. Salem will bow down in gratitude.

Chamber of Commerce Out to Buy Elections
Download 22 SUS column PDF

I wish the Salem Chamber had that attitude. But instead of broadly representing this area’s business community, it acts like a narrow special interest group.

Here’s the primary thing the Chamber says it cares about: “Will this measure/candidate support or hinder the ability of private sector employers to grow their businesses and create jobs?”

Nothing about quality of life, fiscal responsibility, parks and recreation, good schools, community involvement, open government, a vibrant downtown, and other issues that are vitally important to Salem citizens.

Do Global Warming Deniers Run City Hall?
Download 23 SUS column PDF

Many Salemians believe our city’s leaders are immune to the plague of anti-science craziness infecting those on the right side of the national political spectrum.

In the U.S. as a whole only 30% of conservatives believe the effects of global warming have begun to happen, compared to 74% of liberals. But Salem conservatives are Oregonians. Could they also deny the reality of climate change?

After asking the Mayor, City Manager, Public Works Director, and city councillors to answer three simple questions about global warming, I’d say “Yeah, they probably do.”

Salem’s Invasion of the Mind Snatchers
Download 24 SUS column PDF

The mind control device wasn’t visible.

Not surprising. I figured the Chamber of Commerce surgeons would be too skilled to leave any traces. They’d be the best money could buy. So after an election forum I decided to dive into the belly of the beast.

I looked Sheronne Blasi, a City Council candidate, in the eye. The question had to be asked.

“Have you gotten the Chamber of Commerce brain implant yet? You know, the one that allows Chamber officials to push a button and control how city councilors vote.”

Say Yes to All of Life
Download 25 SUS column PDF

“Yes, Yes, Yes.” I enjoy seeing these words colorfully emblazoned on banners at the marvelous Oregon Country Fair in Veneta (a must-go July experience for lovers of alternative reality).

This is the heart of strangeness, the vitalizing power that makes life into passionate ooh’s and ah’s rather than listless oh yeah’s and so what’s.

Yes. This is. We are. It barely matters what the “is” and “are” consist of.

Congrats, Crazy Council Candidates
Download 26 SUS column PDF

I admire people who do crazy things. Not riding a motorcycle at 100 mph drunk out of your mind sort of craziness. That’s just stupid.

I’m talking about the smart crazy wonderfully manifested by five city council candidates in the recent primary election: Tom Andersen, Bradd Swank, Scott Bassett, Xue Lor, and Christopher Proudfoot.

Only Andersen won. But all of these guys are winners of A Fine Madness award. Dudes, what you did was freaking crazy!

My Freaking Genius Idea
Download 27 SUS column PDF

It’s time to invite The Daily Show to Salem. I’m a big fan of their special reports, which often feature a correspondent venturing to a town and interviewing residents about some off-beat goings-on.

Hey, Jon Stewart and company! This is Salem, Oregon calling. We’ve got plenty of weird stuff happening at City Hall. It’s tragicomic to those of us living here, but Comedy Central viewers would focus on the funny side.

I’ve got ideas for some sketches.

These just scratch the surface of the absurdities that our city officials — Mayor Peterson, City Manager Norris, Public Works Director Fernandez, and others — have been inflicting upon Salemians.

Let’s Shop in Salem Catalog of Dreams
Download 28 SUS column PDF

Dreams are free. And fun.

So let’s bust out of the mind-prison that prevents Salemians from freely envisioning how our city could be, breaking the bars of “never could happen,” “costs too much,” “wouldn’t fly politically.”

John Gear, local attorney and LoveSalem blogger, has called for a Salem Catalog of Dreams. Great notion.

Four Recipes for Instant Strangeness
Download 29 SUS column PDF

It’s summer. Living is easy. Who wants to work hard at making Salem stranger? Instead of laboring to cook up a stew of strangeness, here’s four ways of making our town seem tastier instantly.

(1) Observe like an alien... (2) Marvel at what life has wrought... (3) Imagine this is your last day... (4) Get out of your mind.

Embrace Downtown Food Carts
Download 30 SUS column PDF

Food carts are a big success in Portland, drawing national acclaim from Bon Appétit magazine and CNN. So what’s not to like about having a vibrant food cart scene everywhere in Salem, including downtown?

Nothing. But to some people here change is scary even when it is for the better. Diversity, creativity, more eating options… Eek!

At the July 14 city council meeting I was surprised to hear several councilors and restaurant owners talk about their Big Fear that people would flock to a downtown food cart pod and — oh no, the horror — enjoy eating there!

Up to the Present, Salem
Download 31 SUS column PDF

Salem needs an anti-time machine that will let us experience what’s happening now, not the past or future.

Here’s a mantra Salem’s Mayor, City Manager, councilors, and other city officials should repeat: “Up to the present, 2014 or bust.”

...Unfortunately, living in Salem feels like being stuck in quicksand while watching everyone around you run happily by. This town makes a habit of being the last to get the memo about where the world is heading.

Can We All Get Along?
Download 32 SUS column PDF

Great question, Rodney King. Police brutality isn’t the same as heated debates over how to handle downtown parking, but the unnecessary fighting over this issue also is bothersome.

At its last meeting the City Council initiated the return of a 3-hour time limit even though discussion of downtown parking was billed as “informational” on the agenda, with no action expected.

Yet without advance notice a motion suddenly appeared and was quickly passed unanimously. This violated the spirit, if not the letter, of Oregon’s public meetings law, which requires “that decisions of governing bodies be arrived at openly.”

Salem Sunday Streets — Every Day!
Download 33 SUS column PDF

Imagine this town with fewer cars and more bikes. People strolling around a fun-filled city center. Food carts, outdoor yoga, captivating music. Salemians able to safely skateboard and bicycle downtown.

If you were at the recent Salem Sunday Streets event, you didn’t have to imagine. It was real! If you weren’t there, make sure you don’t miss the next one.

When Life Asks You to Dance, Say Yes
Download 34 SUS column PDF

“Come on, let’s dance.”

An attractive young woman was standing in front of me, holding out her hand. I was sitting next to my wife, Laurel, taking a break from a ballroom practice night at the RJ Dance Studio.

Those four unexpected words provoked an intense reaction.

People talk about mixed feelings. My mind and gut were way beyond that. During the few seconds it took me to reply, my emotions were whirling at warp speed in a turbo-charged Dilemma Blender.

A Strange Reason to Legalize Marijuana
Download 35 SUS column PDF

As biologist Edward O. Wilson puts it in his new book, “The self, despite the illusion of its independence created in the scenarios, is part of the anatomy and physiology of the body.”

Mind-blowing, right?

Scientifically obvious, yet shocking to our intuitive sense of ourselves as immaterial self or soul. I am brain-meat that has evolved the capacity to consider itself, if not divine, largely aloof from physicality.

Which is my philosophical neuroscientific reason for voting “Yes” on Measure 91, Oregon’s marijuana legalization initiative.

Rage Against The Machine
Download 36 SUS column PDF

I woke up in the middle of the night with a “Da Vinci Code” insight.

In a flash I understood it all, the ugly reality hidden behind this town’s benign facade, the conspiracy keeping the curtains closed on a truth-revealing window.

The Machine! It was controlling everything!

I’d had glimpses of this monster before. It took some deep sleep unconscious cognizing for my brain to form a coherent picture of how this town is in the grip of difficult-to-discern malevolent forces.

My Dysfunctional Relationship With Salem
Download 37 SUS column PDF

After 37 years of living in or near Salem, I seem to be settling into a pleasantly dysfunctional relationship with this town. Like Sharon Stone’s character in “Basic Instinct,” Salem allures me. Even when she is out to destroy me.

Salem and I, we’re becoming like those charming elderly couples who gripe at each other constantly.

“I would have been better off never getting married to this old coot. Should have gotten hooked to my high school boyfriend and saved myself from fifty years of grief.”

Then they smile, hug, kiss with wrinkled lips. These lovers always will be together. Bitching and complaining about their partner’s faults all the way. 

Don’t Be Tricked by the Statesman Journal
Download 38 SUS column PDF

I no longer trust our so-called “community newspaper.”

I’ve been a subscriber since 1977. Most of that time, I believed the Statesman Journal cared about reporting local news truthfully, fairly, completely.

No longer. Along with many others, I now see the paper as being one of the biggest obstacles to improving Salem. Without a well-informed citizenry, a town is easily hijacked by special interests.

The Power of “I Like It”
Download 39 SUS column PDF

Then my grandmother said, “I like it.” Writing those three words just unexpectedly brought tears to my eyes. I knew they meant a lot to me. Until now I didn’t know how much.

Everything changed with that “I like it.” I didn’t care if nobody else liked my poem. I did. My grandmother did. Two is a crowd, but one is a lonely number.

We need people to affirm our strangeness. We humans are social creatures. From birth we’re wired to reach out and enjoy touching others, while they touch us.

Exposed! Salem’s Delicious Secret
Download 40 SUS column PDF

Salem has a secret. A hidden identity. A persona that will shock many who believe they know her well. Let’s rip off the disguise and reveal the true nature of our town.

Liberal.

Facts don’t lie. A fellow political junkie sent me analyses by ward, city, county, and state for several recent elections. The clear conclusion: Salem leans decidedly left.

Salem Fiddles While the Planet Burns
Download 41 SUS column PDF

So while both the Earth and the western United States experienced record warmth in 2014; while ski resorts in Oregon face steadily declining snowpacks as hotter air causes more precipitation to fall as rain; while drought becomes an ever-increasing threat to farmland and forests…

Salem’s clueless politicians and corporate executives go on their merry Screw the Planet way.

Pushing an unneeded billion dollar Third Bridge that would encourage more carbon-emitting autocentric sprawl. Cutting down precious trees for parking lots and “just because we want to.” Stifling adequate mass transit bus service. Pouring many millions into highway projects while ignoring the need for safe bike lanes, sidewalks, and pedestrian crossings.

Time to Make Salem a Bike-Friendly Town
Download 42 SUS column PDF

When it comes to riding a bicycle in Salem, most people are like me: desirous of doing this, while worried about how dangerous it is.

After all, this town has been designed to bow down before the Altar of  Vehicular Traffic Flow.

Making it safe and easy for bicyclists and walkers to get around has been an afterthought, getting occasional lip service in transportation plans without much follow-through commitment from City of Salem officials.

Angela Obery seeks to change things.

Salem Needs a Visionary City Manager
Download 43 SUS column PDF

So… how enthused are you about what the folks at City Hall have done for Salem lately?

Anything come to mind? Something that made you think, “Wow, this town is going to be so much better now! Thank you, Mayor, City Council, and City Manager.”

Problem is, there’s not much wow-inducing creativity coming from our leaders. It’s difficult to even discern what their over-arching vision for Salem is.

Because they don’t have one.

Stay Weird. Stay Different.
Download 44 SUS column PDF

Graham Moore’s acceptance speech at the 2015 Academy Awards touched me. The loud applause that greeted his words showed I wasn’t alone. He said:

“When I was 16 years old, I tried to kill myself because I felt weird, and I felt different, and I felt like I did not belong. And now I’m standing here, and so I would like for this moment to be for that kid out there who feels like she’s weird, or she's different, or she doesn’t fit in anywhere. Yes, you do. I promise you do. Stay weird, stay different.”

When I was about the same age, I didn’t feel like killing myself. Rather, when I drove by the liquor store in my small rural town, I thought about throwing a rock through its window.

Mayor, Say Yes to Intoxication
Download 45 SUS column PDF

Get wasted more. Scheme less.

Salem would be much better off if our city officials — Mayor, City Manager, city councilors — took this advice.

I’ve got scholarly support for it. Edward Slingerland is an expert in Chinese thought and cognitive science.

In his book, “Trying Not to Try,” Slingerland extols intoxicants, which historically have been used by humans as social lubricants.

When wasted, people are naturally spontaneous. In modern parlance, real. Alcohol, cannabis, and such loosen the cognitive control needed for lying or faking. 

Mayor to Citizens: Shut Up About Trees
Download 46 SUS column PDF

The Mayor asked whether we want to be a community that encourages the public to get involved in decisions that affect people, like whether there is a good reason for certain trees on public property to be removed.

Most Salemians would answer, absolutely!

But Peterson desires less, rather than more, citizen involvement. “I want less live theatre on these policy issues,” she said.

Well, this explains a lot. If you’ve ever felt like top City officials don’t care about what you think, they’re just following their Mayor’s lead.

Time to Take Back this Town
Download 48 SUS column PDF

Readers, I’ve enjoyed writing this column for the past two years. But Salem Weekly is moving in a new direction, so this will be my last Strange Up Salem offering.

... At first it was tough for me to figure out what I should say in this final column. I felt pressure, like I was dying and the people around my bedside wanted to hear some marvelously profound Last Words.

Then I realized, it’s simple, just be real. Don’t try to be anyone other than who you truly are; don’t try to say anything other than how you really feel.

Authenticity. Ah, a theme.

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A FEW EXTRAS: 
COLUMNS I WROTE, BUT WEREN'T PUBLISHED IN SALEM WEEKLY

This was my first try at a Last Column. I ended up being more political in my final column, because that's what felt right.

Be a Warrior of Strangeness
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Picture yourself as a Warrior of Strangeness. Bold. Confident. Fearless.

You are, as a recruitment saying used to put it, an Army of One. Nothing else in the history of the universe has ever manifested your qualities: mind, body, desires, talents, likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses.

Your moment-by-moment mission, because the cosmos demands this of every unique creature, is to fully express who you are.

Yet we worry, “Oh, but I can’t. If other people saw me as I truly am, as I inwardly know myself to be, they’d think I’m really strange. I need to keep myself under wraps in order to fit in.”

And this column was one of my first Strange Up Salem writings -- when I wrote a few sample columns for Salem Weekly a year or two before we reached an agreement for me to be a regular contributor to the alternative paper.

Trader Joe’s Arrival Delayed Due to Lack of Strange
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Thus if we Strange Up Salem, we’re engaging in economic development. Along with making this town more creative, fun, dynamic, and appealing.

Consider Trader Joe’s. My wife and I love to shop at their stores. Whenever we’d go to a Trader Joe’s in Portland or Eugene we’d ask, “Any plans to open a store in Salem?”

The reply always was negative or non-committal. Then our hopes were further crushed when, in July 2009, Trader Joe’s announced it was opening a store in Corvallis.

Freaking Corvallis! Amazing. Salem was a city of 155,000 people; Corvallis had 55,000. As the name of a Salem Weekly feature puts it, OMG! WTF?

Be a Warrior of Strangeness

Like I said in a recent post about my last Salem Weekly Strange Up Salem columnn, I had a tough time figuring out what to say in it. Below is the column that I wrote before I decided to write a different one.

Be a Warrior of Strangeness is personal rather than political, as "Time to take back this town" was -- which appeared in the most recent issue of Salem Weekly.

I can't think of a better image to accompany this piece than... this photo of ME!

My wife took it at the 2013 Oregon Country Fair in Veneta, outside of Eugene. We'd bought masks at a fair booth. I really liked the look of this one.

The dangly "earrings" turned out to be mildly annoying as they clanked against my cheeks, but other than that -- the mask is ME!

Be a Warrior of Strangeness

Readers, I’ve enjoyed writing this column for the past two years. But Salem Weekly is moving in a new direction, so this will be my last Strange Up Salem offering. 

I will, though, be keeping my Strange Up Salem Facebook page active. 

So give it a “like” if you want to get my posts about what’s happening in town, strangeness-wise. And I’ll keep on blogging at www.hinesblog.com

It’s been tough to decide what I’d like to say in this final column. Which points to a truism that, though obvious, bears repeating.

Everything comes to an end. Including our lives. 

So while we’re here, enjoying our brief glimpse of a teeny-tiny corner of an unimaginably vast 14 billion year old universe, we need to live as vibrantly and intensely as possible. 

Like soldiers going into battle, unsure whether they will survive to see another day. After all, one day — and we don’t know which it will be — each of us won’t.

Picture yourself as a Warrior of Strangeness. Bold. Confident. Fearless. 

You are, as a recruitment saying used to put it, an Army of One. Nothing else in the history of the universe has ever manifested your qualities: mind, body, desires, talents, likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses.

Your moment-by-moment mission, because the cosmos demands this of every unique creature, is to fully express who you are. 

Yet we worry, “Oh, but I can’t. If other people saw me as I truly am, as I inwardly know myself to be, they’d think I’m really strange. I need to keep myself under wraps in order to fit in.”

News flash: Everybody already thinks you’re strange. Your hoped-for game of disguise is over before it had a chance to begin.

Ask your teenager. “Yeah, Mom, you’re strange.” Ask your spouse, your boss, your best friend. If they’re honest, everyone who knows you well enough to speak the truth will say, “You’re strange… in a good way.”

Each of us feels that our way of looking at the world is absolutely normal. After all, it isn’t possible to experience reality except through our own utterly unique consciousness and way of being.

Strangeness is our birthright. More: the essence of the cosmos. 

Almost certainly, no complex collection of molecules capable of being called alive is exactly the same as any other living entity. Welcome to The Matrix: you are the One… the one and only.

This isn’t the whole story, though. 

Every other person also is the One. We humans exist as the One and Many. Our strangeness is reflected and amplified as it is expressed in the company of our fellows.

Which means, don’t fear being different. 

Embrace every thought, feeling, urge, emotion, action, compulsion, quirk, eccentricity, and whatever else that is now, and always will be, a gift from the limitless depths of your personal treasure chest, Only Me.

Warrior of Strangeness, smile on. Stay strong. Be happy. Hope to see you on the increasingly strange streets of Salem.

Salem, Oregon: I hate this town. I love this town.

My new Strange Up Salem column in Salem Weekly is "My dyfunctional relationship with Salem." 

After 37 years of living in or near Salem, I seem to be settling into a pleasantly dysfunctional relationship with this town. Like Sharon Stone’s character in “Basic Instinct,” Salem allures me. Even when she is out to destroy me.

But that word, dysfunctional...

Note that I prefaced it with "pleasantly." I really don't think it is unusual, wrong, or undesirable to both hate and love something or someone. This is how we are, how the world is. 

Multiple. Changeable. Capricious. 

To cast a philosophical/neuroscientific patina over my piece in Salem's alternative paper, here's an excerpt from a book I'm re-reading, "The Ego Trick: What Does It Mean to be You?," by Julian Baggini. 

The best [philosophers], to my mind, are precisely those who manage to be no less precise than necessary, but no more precise than is possible. Paul Ricoeur is a rare example of a philosopher who seems to appreciate the unsuitability of applying logical identity to persons.

His central idea is captured in the phrase 'selfhood is not sameness.' Ricoeur uses the Latin terms idem and ipse to distinguish between sameness and selfhood.

Sameness, idem, is unique and recurrent: one thing continuing to exist as exactly the same thing over time... But selves do not have this sameness over time. It is in their nature to change, never exactly the same from one day to the next.

The trouble is that we tend to use the word 'identity' in relation to persons, unclear as to whether we mean sameness (idem) or selfhood (ipse). What we need to be clear about is that persons retain a sense of selfhood over time, but this is not a precise sameness.

For sure. My feelings about Salem change yearly, monthly, weekly, daily, hourly, minute'ly. Here's my full column.

My dysfunctional relationship with Salem

Hopefully I don’t have a brain tumor that’s making me lose touch with reality to a greater degree than I already am.

I’ve been having some inexplicable sensations. They’re coming more often. Out of the blue I’ll be somewhere in Salem and have an unfamiliar feeling.

“Hey, this town is pretty damn cool. Maybe my wife and I should live here for the rest of our lives.”

Weird! Freaky!

I’ll check to make sure my mind is still inhabiting the body which has been so critical of this town for so long. Yes, the guy who is having warm fuzzy thoughts about Salem sure looks like the dude who is out to strange it up.

Reminds me of Walt Whitman: “Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes).”

There’s a lot to like about Salem. Everyone has their favorites. I love downtown, Minto Brown Park, coffeehouses and brewpubs, Capitol Mall, the Willamette River, Progressive Film series. Plus so many likable people.

There’s also a lot not to like. A minimally vibrant urban core. Lack of mass transit and decent bike lanes. Clueless city leaders. Ugly strip mall sprawl.

After 37 years of living in or near Salem, I seem to be settling into a pleasantly dysfunctional relationship with this town. Like Sharon Stone’s character in “Basic Instinct,” Salem allures me. Even when she is out to destroy me.

Salem and I, we’re becoming like those charming elderly couples who gripe at each other constantly.

“I would have been better off never getting married to this old coot. Should have gotten hooked to my high school boyfriend and saved myself from fifty years of grief.”

Then they smile, hug, kiss with wrinkled lips. These lovers always will be together. Bitching and complaining about their partner’s faults all the way.

The plain truth is, there’s no such thing as “Salem.”

This word is an abstraction, a place-holder for stuff that actually does exist. Salem’s reality lives within the awareness of everyone who is conscious of this place, just as the love of an old married couple is within themselves, not anywhere outside.

So there are as many Salems as the people living here, 160,000 or so. And inside each of them are, as Whitman said, multitudinous viewpoints of this town.

I’ve been asked, “Since you hate Salem so much, why do you still live here?” To which I reply, “Because I love Salem.” If they say, “Then why do you criticize this town?” the answer is easy. “Because I hate Salem.”

Imagine yourself without your flaws, shortcomings, foibles, weaknesses, paradoxes, quirks, dark side. You wouldn’t be you. You’d be someone else.

Same with Salem. The good comes with the bad, the enticing with the bland.

How about celebrating our uncool side with an annual So-Lame Festival? Let’s embrace our putdown nickname. Salem’s lameness is an attraction as well as a turnoff.

I’ll be the first to enter a watching paint dry contest.

Strange Up Salem seeks to lift our city’s Blah Curse. Give us a Facebook like. Brian Hines blogs at hinesblog.com

I show how Salem, Oregon is controlled by The Machine

If this was New Jersey, rather than Oregon, I'd be worrying about a baseball bat getting friendly with my knees, or concrete blocks and chains with my feet.

Thankfully, the behind-the-scenes folks who run Salem aren't nearly as nasty as the mob -- though they also do their best to keep money and power flowing to themselves, rather than the public at large.

This is the basic message of my new Strange Up Salem column in our alternative paper, Salem Weekly. Here's how "Rage Against the Machine" starts out.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a “Da Vinci Code” insight.

In a flash I understood it all, the ugly reality hidden behind this town’s benign facade, the conspiracy keeping the curtains closed on a truth-revealing window.

The Machine! It was controlling everything!

I’d had glimpses of this monster before. It took some deep sleep unconscious cognizing for my brain to form a coherent picture of how this town is in the grip of difficult-to-discern malevolent forces.

Leaders of the Salem-Area Chamber of Commerce. Executives at the Statesman Journal newspaper. High-ranking city officials, elected and appointed. Other members of Salem’s “1%.”

I doubt they conduct sinister rituals, have a secret society, or exchange coded messages aimed at achieving Salem domination. But the Machine is as dangerously dehumanizing as if they did.

Once The Machine was assembled and got rolling, it became a force that controlled its creators. As the saying goes, “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

So much so, the corrupted in power become blind to what has happened to them. They believe they’re doing the right thing, when they aren’t.

The Machine’s core goal is to keep money and power flowing to the people in Salem who already have these things. Other values aren’t important to The Machine. Such as compassion, sustainability, citizen involvement, honesty, truth, social equity.

I never know what else is going to be published in a Salem Weekly issue until I pick up a free copy on the street. So it was a pleasant surprise to see that the cover story this time was about a like-minded movie, "Citizen Koch," that'll be shown November 13 at the Salem Progressive Film Series.

One of the after-film speakers, David Delk of the Portland Alliance for Democracy, is quoted in the piece:

“This is a great movie,” Delk says, “to grow the public’s awareness of the magnitude of the threat to democracy when we fail to control money in the political system. This movie demonstrates how unlimited money in the political system is a clear violation of the principle of one person, one vote, because it allows those with the money to shout while the rest of us just get to whisper. And shouting determines who gets to run for office, who gets elected, what issues become 'issues' and which get suppressed, and ultimately who benefits and who is harmed."

Exactly.

Salem has its own mini-versions of the Koch Brothers: the Political Action Committees set up by the Chamber of Commerce, Realtor's Association, and other big-money groups. They are aided and abetted by the Statesman Journal newspaper executives and City officials beholden to The Machine.

I put it this way in my column.

Big bucks support the Machine’s carefully chosen candidates for Mayor and the City Council. Political action committees mostly fund their campaigns, which, as happens everywhere in this country, makes the candidates dance to their donors’ tune after being elected.

...what The Machine wants, it usually gets, largely because our community newspaper, the Statesman Journal, won’t do any investigative reporting on how money and power are wielded in Salem.

The paper’s executives are part of The Machine. They won’t criticize the Chamber of Commerce or city officials, since they need advertising dollars and access to the powers-that-be to keep their Gannett bosses happy.

So citizens don’t learn about how The Machine operates in Salem. Voters are left in the dark, swayed by PAC-funded campaigns. Elected officials keep doing what The Machine wants. Our daily newspaper fails to report about what’s going on.

And so it goes…until we citizens rise up and rage against The Machine.

This talk about The Machine isn't conspiracy theory stuff. It is fact.

In Salem, in Oregon, in the nation as a whole. Solid political science research has shown that ordinary citizens have much less influence over policy decisions than the rich and powerful. See here and here.

Here's an excerpt from an interview with one of the scholars who did the research.

You say the United States is more like a system of "Economic Elite Domination" and "Biased Pluralism" as opposed to a majoritarian democracy. What do those terms mean? Is that not just a scholarly way of saying it's closer to oligarchy than democracy if not literally an oligarchy?

People mean different things by the term oligarchy. One reason why I shy away from it is it brings to mind this image of a very small number of very wealthy people who are pulling strings behind the scenes to determine what government does. And I think it's more complicated than that.

It's not only Sheldon Adelson or the Koch brothers or Bill Gates or George Soros who are shaping government policy-making. So that's my concern with what at least many people would understand oligarchy to mean.

What "Economic Elite Domination" and "Biased Pluralism" mean is that rather than average citizens of moderate means having an important role in determining policy, ability to shape outcomes is restricted to people at the top of the income distribution and to organized groups that represent primarily -- although not exclusively -- business.

At Salem's French Press, a tale of two free papers

Waiting for a to-go order to be prepared at Cafe Yumm (my wife and I love this fairly new Salem restaurant), I headed across the parking lot to caffeinate myself at French Press.

Where my 16 ounce non-fat vanilla latte had a marvelously artistic look to it.

I have no idea how baristas do this. Actually, I don't want to know. I like living with the mystery of "Wow!" Whether by chance or design, the guy who made my latte achieved a blossom within a heart within primordial ripples of the big bang.

Or something like that. 

Needing some reading matter to go with my drink, from a stand by the front door I picked up two free Salem publications, one alternative and one mainstream.

I enjoy both -- Salem Weekly and the Salem Business Journal. My political and cultural views are much more in line with Salem Weekly, but I like to keep in touch with other viewpoints. 

My feeling, as I walked back to Cafe Yumm with both in hand, was more the better.

We're fortunate to have journalistic choices in this town. I wish there were even more, including on the blogging front, where I do my thing.

I also have a regular column in Salem Weekly, Strange Up Salem; give it a Facebook like, if you haven't already. While you're at it, give Salem Weekly some Facebook like love also.

The more viewpoints that we have about what's going on, the better we're able to sort out what is true and false, desirable and undesirable. Not in any sort of Transcendent Objective Reality, which I don't believe exists. 

In our own subjective, personal, limited human mind. By opening ourselves to as many divergent perspectives as possible, we increase the chance that we can understand the world in a way that works for us.

This is why I subscribe to both the Salem Statesman Journal and Portland Oregonian, along with having an online subscription to the New York Times. And why I read both Salem Weekly and the Salem Business Journal.

By the way, the Salem Weekly web site has a new look. I like it. Seems cleaner, fresher, and more modern to me. The publisher, A.P. Walther, has told me that eventually the confusing WillametteLive name/URL will be changed to something more Salem Weekly'ish. 

I deeply appreciate what A.P. and his small dedicated band of Salem Weekly staffers do for our community.

Recently I sent A.P. a link to a story I saw in Portland's alternative paper, Willamette Week. It was about the "Best Rabble-Rousing Community Newspaperman," Allan Classen, who publishes a monthly publication in northwest Portland, The Northwest Examiner. The two, A.P. and Allan, seem to be quite a bit alike.

Salem needs rabble-rousers. Of the non-violent type, naturally. If they make us angry about stuff that needs changing and excited about future possibilities, great!

rab·ble–rous·er

 noun \ˈra-bəl-ˌrau̇-zər\

: a person who makes a group of people angry, excited, or violent (such as by giving speeches) especially in order to achieve a political or social goal

I become a columnist: Salem Weekly today, New York Times tomorrow?

Being a blogger is sort of like being a columnist.

You get to write short essays about subjects that interest you. Those essays, a.k.a. blog posts, are published and made available to readers. 

But I've always looked upon blogging as being to genuine column-writing as masturbation is to sex with another person: it's easier to do it all by yourself, yet less satisfying. It does indeed take two to tango. 

So I'm thrilled to be able to say, "I am a columnist." In a real publication, made of paper (as well as pixels). 

Today my first Strange Up Salem column appeared in Salem Weekly.

Which is published every two weeks. And is given away free. And is Salem's alternative print publication, albeit with a decent readership.

Still, hey, I'm a columnist!

Along with Paul Krugman and Thomas Friedman. I'm just one (freaking gigantic) step from being read regularly by readers of this country's most respected newspaper.

Plus, Krugman and Friedman don't have a column logo as cool as what some talented person at Salem Weekly came up with. Here it is, as featured on the cover.

Have a read. I've embarked on a journey into strangeness. Which, of course, I've been on since birth. Along with every other person on Earth. 

If our marvelously unique President were to offer his advice,  I imagine him saying, “You are the strange that you’ve been waiting for.” We are the people who are going to Strange Up Salem.

Not outside businesses, developers, politicians, artists, or creative class immigrants. Us. Adapting a well-known self-improvement phrase, we need a city-wide mantra: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting stranger and stranger.”

At one point in my life I worried about being considered strange. Now, I consider it a compliment. The most interesting people I’ve known, the most fascinating places I’ve been to, the most unforgettable experiences I’ve had — they’ve all been compellingly strange.

So I’ve got a single qualification for writing this column: I’m strange, and I adore strange. I’ll feel at home in these pages because Salem Weekly also is strange. I’m looking forward to exploring the twists and turns, boundaries, and qualities of strangeness.

Along with you.

Strange Up Salem has to be a communal happening, a venture into uncharted territory where we all stand on the border between who each of us is now and what our city is now, and boldly keep stepping forward.

Onward, into strangeness.

At the age of 64, it's all becoming very clear to me now. Very clear indeed. I'm homing in on the Secret of the Cosmos, the Theory of Everything, the Key that Unlocks Every Mystery. 

It's been right in front of me this whole time: strangeness. I just made the mistake of thinking, "That's so strange; I've got to look somewhere else."

No, it's Strange that we want, need, and long for.

It's Strange that makes everyday life into something mind-blowing. It's Strange that converts ordinary into unique, mundane into special, ignorable into can't-take-my-eyes-off-of-you. I'm going to enjoy explaining to others, and to myself, why I'm not crazy to think this way.

Or, if I am crazy, why this is a fine madness.

K. Williams Brown gets Salem's light just right

Salem, Oregon glows in the invisible ultraviolet wavelength, appealing-city wise. That's one of the insights that resonated with me in a column by K. Williams Brown in the Statesman Journal today. 

Check out the "Let's make Salem's light visible, not ultraviolet" post on my Strange Up Salem blog for how Brown's thoughts stimulated my own. 

But it's time (way past time, really) for Salem to evolve out of its ultraviolet phase of development. I'm tired of having friends and relatives visit from out of state and being stumped when my wife and I think, "What to do?" 

Salem sucks when it comes to engaging, vibrant, walkable, creative, artistic, energetic mixed use cityscapes. There's no neighborhood anything like Portland's NW 23rd Street, one of my favorite places to visit. 

I get this "inner beauty" and "secret treasures" stuff. I'm just eager for Salem to blossom with some outward beauty and manifest treasures also.

Break the blah-curse that hangs over Salem, Oregon

Over on my Strange Up Salem blog I've put up a post which conclusively answers the question that plagues residents of our city: why is Salem afflicted with so much blah'ness?

We're cursed. That's got to be it.

Check out "Is Salem, Oregon cursed by a 'blah spell?" The answer is yes; the solution is described. Excerpt:

Thus the curse of Oregon's capital isn't to be infected with evil. Hey, that'd be interesting, cool, something to be proud of. (Las Vegas does just fine with that sort of curse.)

No, Salem's curse is existential.

It's to be doomed with a void at the barely beating heart of our slow-moving metropolis. It's a lack of creative energy, a deficit of imagination, an emptiness that blocks attempts to cure the lethargy that infects Big Ideas and turns them into a shadow of themselves.

#Salemia tweets show need to strange up Salem

Check out another Strange Up Salem post on my blog that's dedicated to weirding up Oregon's excessively blah capital. "Salemia video aims to Strange Up Salem" is the last of my three Salem Weekly columns that made it into the blogosphere rather than print.

Here's some excerpts:

In early February “Salemia” touched off a craze among Salem’s Twittersphere. It all began when filmmaker Mike Perron tweeted, “Salemia. Opening scene: five hipsters fighting over a half smoked cigarette outside Chelsea's place...”

...Keep Portland Weird is a rallying cry for residents who want to preserve their city’s uniqueness. Since I feel an urgent need to Strange Up Salem, my guess was that when other Twitter’ers started sharing their own “Salemia” scene ideas, boring would be a more common theme than bizarre.

I was right. Here’s some of my favorite tweets from the first wave of Salemia sharings.

How stranging up Salem is a job creator

Over on my Strange Up Salem blog I've put up another marvelously persuasive post that uses the example of Trader Joe's to show how strangeness is a key to economic development -- not to mention the secrets of the cosmos.

Check it out. Here's a sample:

Bottom line: A place and the people who live there are intimately intertwined. If we want Salem to be a more interesting and lively place, we have to cultivate those qualities in ourselves.

Free enterprise is adept at filling voids. When there is unfulfilled demand for new and different, a.k.a. strangeness, individuals and businesses will offer up out-of-the-ordinary wares.

Strange Up Salem -- what it's about

Over on my new Strange Up Salem blog I've shared a version of what would have been my first Salem Weekly column (see here for why I'm publishing my paeans to strangeness in cyberspace rather than on newsprint).

Check out "Strange Up Salem! You know you want it."

It isn't only for those of us who want Oregon's capital city to, as I say, become more than a blandburger sandwiched between the spiciness of Portland and Eugene. My grandiosity extends way beyond that.

At one point in my life I worried about being considered strange. Now, I consider it a compliment. The most interesting people I’ve known, the most fascinating places I’ve been to, the most unforgettable experiences I’ve had -- they’ve all been compellingly strange.

This is why I feel qualified to preach a Strange Up Salem gospel: I’m strange, and I adore strange.

So much so, I've come to see strangeness as resting at the heart of many fascinating areas of human understanding that I love to learn about: neuroscience, philosophy, spirituality, land use, politics, physics, cosmology, psychology, artistry.

Strange is the key to everything! I've come to realize this. And now it's my unsacred mission to preach the Gospel of Strange wherever and however the strange spirit strikes me.

You can help out by clicking the Facebook "like" button in the right column. Don't think about it; just do it. Strangeness is spontaneity and freedom. So damn it, I order you to click on that button now!

Why I'm not a Salem Weekly columnist

Oh, man.

I could almost taste my Pulitzer prize -- leaving aside the minor details of (1) whether a Pulitzer is given for alternative newspaper column writing, and (2) the questionable edibility of whatever the Pulitzer folks give out as awards.

Regardless, I came so close to becoming a columnist for Salem Weekly, which actually is published bi-weekly, but alternative publications shouldn't be held to obsessive-compulsive journalistic standards.

That's part of what attracted me to the notion of writing for Salem Weekly when publisher A.P. Walther phoned me early in 2011 and said he wanted us to chat. Soon we had a pleasant get-together at the downtown Beanery coffee house. A.P. had been reading my blogs. He liked my "out of the box" thinking.

Music to my literary ears. I told him that blogging was satisfying, but it'd be interesting to dive into the alternative newspaper waters.

There's something about seeing your words in print, on paper. I've had three books published; it's an exciting moment when the first copy arrives in the mail, much more so than is clicking "publish" on a blog post and sensing electrons fly into cyberspace.

After that first meeting with A.P. I pondered what I'd want to write about during some dog walks, when I often come up with my best ponders. It didn't take long for an idea to pop into my mind.

It was weird. In fact, it was strange. I liked it a lot.

I wanted to Strange Up Salem.

I've lived here for 34 years -- over three freaking decades of listening to people (one of whom was me) bitch and complain about how boring Oregon's capital city is, how there's nothing to do here, how downtown is so yawn-inducing, how we suck compared to Portland and Eugene.

All largely true. But lighting a candle is different from cursing the darkness. I got more and more passionate about a Strange Up Salem campaign, which I came to think of as a happening, that would focus on changing Salem from the inside out.

Channeling Obama's 2008 message, I wanted to proclaim: "We are the strange that we've been waiting for."

And that's what I'm going to do. But not in the pages of Salem Weekly.

A.P. Walther, the publisher, resonated with three sample columns that I wrote along with several memos outlining how Strange Up Salem could bring new energy (and readers) to his publication, help make Salem a better place, and be a satisfyingly fun activity for me.

However, the Salem Weekly editor, who would go nameless if he didn't go by the name of Shawn Estes, wasn't nearly as enamored with my proposal.

After I met with Shawn for the first time, late in the column-planning process, I could tell that we weren't on the same wavelength -- a writer's nightmare, because an editor who isn't attuned to a writer's train of thought is going to de-rail the creative engine.

I suggested further meetings where A.P., Shawn, and I could discuss the Strange Up Salem notion. I wrote out my concerns in detail, hoping that it'd still be possible for both Salem Weekly and me to feel comfortable with each other, an obvious pre-requisite if I was going to write a regular column.

No go.

I realized that the silence I was hearing from Salem Weekly was a response, a conclusion eventually confirmed by A.P.. Not wanting to set aside the work I'd done on Strange Up Salem, I decided to be my own alternative to our city's alternative newspaper. (With the World Wide Web, everybody can be a publisher these days.)

I have no idea how Strange Up Salem will go.

This means I can't fail, because I have few specific expectations of success. I don't even know what "success" means in this context. That's how strange I want Strange Up Salem to be -- unpredictable, uncertain, uncontrollable, undefinable.

You can be a part of whatever the heck this is, no matter where you live.

Visit my Strange Up Salem blog, which functions as a landing place for www.strangeupsalem.com (naturally one of my first thoughts was: "got to reserve a domain name").

Give me a Facebook "like" via the blog. Or head to the Strange Up Salem Facebook page and like strangeness from there.

Follow the Strange Up Salem Twitter feed. Tweets are in short supply at the moment, but I'll get around to tweetifying strangeness before too long.

If you don't understand what Strange Up Salem is all about, join the club. I don't either. Not really. Strange is an idea that sends out tendrils in all directions. Why, I've come to see this concept as a philosophical Theory of Everything. It explains the whole freaking cosmos!

Well, Salem at least.

Friday I'll share the first column that I wrote for Salem Weekly, duly revised for the now-independent nature of Strange Up Salem. With this happening I'm the writer; I'm the editor; I'm the publisher.

More: I'm the goddamn self-appointed Philosopher King of Strange Up Salem.

I wish Courthouse Square was completely torn down and a public park was in its place; then I could get on a soapbox and rant about how strangeness will save Salem from the sins of boredom, lethargy, ordinariness, and lack of creativity.

But who needs a physical soapbox? I've got Facebook, Twitter, and my blogs! Cool.

(I want to end by saying that I like Salem Weekly and admire the dedication A.P. Walther, Shawn Estes, and the other staffers put into this publication. It's a terrific asset for our city. That said, A.P. repeatedly told me "I welcome suggestions for making Salem Weekly better." I'm going to take him up on that offer in a forthcoming blog post, after I get some Strange Up Salem writings percolating in cyberspace.)