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August 14, 2015


You would probably be diagnosed with some post-traumatic stress... hm maybe a movie. Seeing "The Birds" at too tender an age comes to mind. In one scene "Lydia (Jessica Tandy) visits a neighboring farmer to discuss the unusual behavior of their chickens. She discovers his eyeless corpse." The linkage with your sudden fear that they could "peck their prey's freaking eyes out" is significant. Maybe you were hushed and told to get back to bed without another "peep" after a subsequent nightmare. Or suffered a schoolyard bully flapping his arms and calling you a "chicken" Or... never mind. I'm too chicken to make suggestions among the churchless... people have been tarred and feathered here for less.

Dungeness, I think you're on to something here. I do remember seeing "The Birds." But I'd forgotten about that eyeless scene, which must be due to post-traumatic stress, now much exacerbated by the chicken attack..

Seems like I would have a good legal case against the City of Salem for not adequately securing a city park against a feral chicken invasion, thereby leading to severe psychological pain and distress for a regular park user, namely, ME.

Not sure what adequate compensation to me would be. Maybe ten million dollars? In that ballpark, at least. I'd settle for five million, probably. Waiting for a call from your legal staff, City of Salem! Let's work out a settlement.

Now, now, there is no such thing as a chicken that becomes feral. There are wild (feral) chickens, but not in Oregon. These poor girls were probably released in he park by someone who did not want to take care of them anymore. They will most certainly end up as a good meal for a coyote or feral cat before long. Domesticated chicken are friendly and they wanted to be friends with you. They probably hoped you would have some food for them. They are pretty much defenseless in the wild. They can't even fly well enough to get up in a tree. Very sad.

Jim, WHAT?! You're telling me that what I assumed were fierce killing machines actually were harmless tame chickens?

Well, maybe...

I still like the theory that these dinosaur descendants were setting me up for a nasty attack, which I managed to foil.

I realize that most people view chickens as adorable animals. Though I admit I haven't had much experience with them, I see them as akin to every cat I've ever owned -- or, rather, been owned by.

The animal seems all tame and friendly. Then in an instant it can turn on you, ripping flesh with its claws and teeth. I'd say to my cat, "Hey, what did I do?!"

The cat would wordlessly reply, "Nothing. I just exercised my existential freedom to scratch and bite you because I revel in senseless absurdity. Such is life..."

For me, owning a cat was like having a furry Sartre that purrs around the house. Except I doubt that Sartre ever drew blood.

I enjoyed this story greatly. 10/10 would die from chickens again.

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