Why everyone in Oregon should vote to legalize marijuana

Today the realization came to me -- why every voting Oregonian should check "Yes" on Measure 91, the initiative to legalize recreational marijuana.

It was so clear, so evident, so marvelously apparent. Just six words, directed at the different slices of the political spectrum.

Imagine, liberals...Governor Dennis Richardson. Senator Monica Wehby.

Imagine, conservatives...Governor John Kitzhaber. Senator Jeff Merkley.

Depressing, right? If either comes to pass, about half of voters are going to be seriously upset for the next four to six years. You're going to need something to cheer you up.

Hey, no problem! 

Because Oregonians had the smarts to pass Measure 91 in November. Not too long after, everybody who is bummed by how the election turned out will be able to find the marijuana strain they need in a local pot store.

Start browsing now. Under Effect, choose "happy." Or if you expect to be really bummed out, go for "euphoric."

Take a few imaginary puffs. Feel yourself relaxing. Enjoy the fantasy buzz.

Richardson, Kitzhaber, Wehby, Merkley -- they're all just people, man... send them some love... it'll be OK, no matter who runs the state and country... reality extends way beyond all this political bullshit... just BE.

Now, if you haven't tried marijuana, you might be thinking "Why can't I vote no on Measure 91 and continue to drink myself into oblivion when I'm depressed like I always do?" To which I reply:

Dude, picture yourself getting drunk without all of the nasty drunkenness parts.

You feel good, but aren't really physically impaired. No stumbling around. No throwing up. And psychologically, have you ever wondered why people talk about "happy drunks" and "angry drunks," but not happy stoners and angry stoners?

Because marijuana rarely makes people angry. Have you ever heard of a bar fight? How about a pot party fight? 

So now I've made an unarguable case for both liberals and conservatives voting for Measure 91. Whichever side of the political spectrum an Oregon voter is on, there's a good chance he or she will be disappointed after the election.

Remembering But Measure 91 passed! will ease the pain. Trust me. 

Those who are reluctant to feel better fast through a safe, effective, and essentially side-effect-free herbal "medication" should consider a few things.

First, how many substances do you ingest, because you want to feel better, which are a lot more harmful than marijuana? These could include alcohol, tobacco, plus both non-prescription and over-the-counter drugs. 

That Vicodin is way riskier than, say, your White Widow cannabis strain. 

I can't think of any reasonable reasons to not vote "yes" on Measure 91. Whether someone believes God created man in his own image, or evolution formed us through natural selection, the plain fact is that the human brain has receptors for THC.

God, evolution, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster all want you to feel happy no matter how the 2014 Oregon election turns out. Vote for Measure 91. You're going to feel good that you did.

Lastly... what if the only issue you care about on the November ballot is defeating that damn marijuana legalization effort, Measure 91, and it passes?! Then you're going to be REALLY depressed. 

Dude, you're going to need some cheering up --  how about some Silver Super Haze?

Comments

[tucson]

I appreciate the humor and logic in your comment Brian, but I disagree that weed is innocuous and all fun and games as you make it sound. There will be a price to pay in society for its ubiquitous use. People will suffer. This does not mean I think it should be underground. It's here to stay. I see that. Criminal enforcement is not the way to go.

My 22 year old son is a stoner. He comes over and smokes weed here all the time. Sometimes its my weed because I have a Medical Marijuana Card. He smokes all the time. He admits he can't sleep through the night without smoking before bed. He admits he is mentally and physically addicted but feels he functions well. And he does, to a point. He works hard at construction and landscaping. Makes sandals and furniture. Is a wilderness expert and a good musician. Has lots of friends. But he is moody and sullen if he does not get his weed. He can even go into a pretty nasty funk. All that smoke going into his lungs can't be good. Look at all the tar on a well-used weed pipe. Smoke is smoke.

Edibles may be a better choice but they hit harder and last longer. Some people may not like that. My son gave a girlfriend, who was not a marijuana novice by any means, a cannabis gummy bear before a plane flight. It was too much for her and she became paranoid and sick. Threw up on the plane before takeoff and had to be escorted off and she missed the flight. This drug is strong shit. It has to have negative side effects even though many users tolerate it well.

Stoned street thugs do fight on weed, even kill each other. It induces psychosis in a few people like a childhood friend of mine who remains institutionalized to this day. Some potsters do get anxious and paranoid. Some do lose motivation. It does dumb you down. You may be smart to begin with so dumbing you down may not take you as far as being just plain dumb but you may not be quite as smart as you are when you are straight either. After all, you are drugged on weed. This is obvious. Otherwise, why would anyone use it? It is a drug. Drugs have side effects. You have to weigh the pros vs the cons. It's not a cup of green tea.

Here is a government report on pot. Yeah, I know it is the government and they have their agenda but you wouldn't expect a completely objective report form the American Association of Marijuana Growers either.

http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/marijuana

[Brian Hines]

tucson, thanks for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences with marijuana. This is my general reaction...

I completely understand that marijuana use is problematic for some people. But since marijuana isn't physically addictive like tobacco, cigarettes, heroin, and other drugs are, the problem is personal and psychological, not general and physical.

At least, not unless someone has an adverse physical reaction, which is rare.

The way I see it, this is akin to food, sex, golf, gambling, and every other sort of activity that pleases pleasure centers in the brain. Some people have serious problems with over-eating, sex addiction, playing golf at every opportunity, gambling away the family savings, and such.

But most people can do these things in moderation. Society doesn't outlaw eating, having sex, playing golf, and gambling just because some people are harmed by engaging in the activity. Because the "addiction" is psychological, likely if they weren't addicted to one thing, it would be another.

Life isn't risk-free. Society tolerates the much greater harms that come from over-use of alcohol, tobacco, and habit-forming prescription drugs. Hardly anybody calls for making them illegal. Yet with marijuana, often people do say "let's keep marijuana use illegal. " Doesn't make sense.

I realize that marijuana has both direct effects and side effects. Everything I've mentioned does. There are good ways to pursue every activity in life, and there are bad ways. Some people ride a motorcycle safely, and some people kill themselves on one.

Let's not take everybody's rights away just because a few people aren't able to handle an activity such as using marijuana.

[tucson]

Brian,

Generally I agree with you, however, you wrote about marijuana:

"You feel good, but aren't really physically impaired. No stumbling around. No throwing up."

--I have used a certain strain of weed for back spasms upon occasion (I am not a regular user). It is a potent muscle relaxer and I do stumble around a bit after imbibing it. I'm not staggering down the hallway knocking over things like a drunk but I should not drive as my coordination is a bit off.

See my anecdote in the post above about the girlfriend throwing up on the plane after imbibing a cannabis gummy bear.

Sure, I don't like government butting in on private matters like whether you use cannabis or not, or drink large sodas. But let's not kid ourselves about cannabis. It is a strong drug with some strains containing 20-25% THC.

Research shows long term weed smokers trying to quit have withdrawal symptoms including irritability, sleeplessness, bizarre dreams and nightmares, decreased appetite, anxiety, and craving for the drug, all of which can make it difficult to abstain.

For these people weed is mentally and physically addictive.

Widespread weed use is not something entirely benign to celebrate about when it becomes legal which, as a practical matter, is the only choice available.