I am hugely proud that my wife and I watched the recent MTV Video Music Awards. We are hip, with-it, cool seniors (both 64 years old) who appreciate the youthful side of life.
Like Miley Cyrus's uninhibited tongue-protruding booty-shaking performance at the VMA's. I liked Lady Gaga more, but we were impressed with how fully Miley has left behind her clean-cut Hannah Montana days.
Miley is on the right; Gaga on the left.
Both demonstrated a marvelous fact of modern culture: it is totally fine for females to strip almost naked and gyrate on national TV, but men must preserve their clothed dignity, by and large. I'm fine with this; my feminista wife, Laurel, not so much.
Our with-it'ness was not complete, though.
When I read stories about Miley's performance, I kept seeing references to her twerking. I was clueless about what this word meant. Laurel was also. We did correctly guess that it must have something to with either tongues or hips.
A bit of You Tube searching revealed the truth in the form of a "how to" video that has amassed 13,300,000 views. Good to know that people know what is important to learn in life.
I felt like I had the moves down in just a minute or so of practice. However, Laurel scoffed at my twerking. "Your butt is barely moving," she told me. I defensively argued back that Wikipedia says twerking usually is done by women (for obvious reasons).
This video convinced me that Wikipedia is absolutely on target. Though she does not win the booty-shaking competition, the blonde girl puts her heart butt into it at minutes 2 and 4 of the video.
Each of the competitors puts Miley Cyrus to twerking shame. I had never seen her official "We Can't Stop" video. Spending three and a half minutes of my life watching it, I had difficulty thinking of any other 210 seconds I've experienced that was more painful. Maybe a root canal.
As an alternative, I recommend the video below to Miley Cyrus twerking fans. It is silent, probably for copyright reasons. But it appropriately focuses on the only redeeming quality of the "We Can't Stop" video: her ass.
I saw a cartoon about 10-12 years ago, or so, when the tattoo/piercing thing had been popular for a few years. It showed these chicks going by all these heavily pierced and tattooed dudes. The girls were all ho mum, been there, done that.
Then they got to this guy who was heavily tattooed and pierced like a pin cushion but they were all turned on by him because he also had his arms and legs removed. Now THAT was way cool and the chicks were begging the quadriplegic to "do it to them now".
I just wonder where this twerking will lead to next. Someone will have to top Miley to get attention for being cutting edge. Since twerking is basically simulated fucking I imagine the simulations will become even more graphic. Perhaps vigorous full contact dry humping while wearing transparent plastic underwear will be the next great thing that youth will have to aspire and look up to. It will be a great day, don't you think?
Posted by: tucson | August 31, 2013 at 07:48 PM
Twerking is just another reason that I am so glad that I am mortal.
Posted by: Willie R. | September 01, 2013 at 03:57 PM