I wanted to put genuine profanity in the title of this post. But my sense of cyberspace propriety stopped me. Until now...
Fuck you, DirecTV! Fuck you, Pac 12 Network!
May you and your progeny (assuming corporations have progeny, but aren't they people too?) endure eternal torture in whatever hell is reserved for heartless, greedy, uncaring bastards who put their own selfish interest above the needs of others.
I've been annoyed with DirecTV for several months. Virtually every other "cable" provider has worked out an agreement with the Pac 12 Network. But not DirecTV. So I've been missing Oregon and Oregon State football games I wanted to see.
However, I kept remembering a promise I got from DirecTV customer service:
In addition, the vast majority of games, and those with the most conference or national title implications, will instead be televised by the ESPN family of networks and ABC Sports, FOX Sports and FSN, FX, CBS Sports and CBS Sports Network, NBC Sport and NBC Sports Network, and several other regional services, all of which are available on DIRECTV.
Oh, really? You liars!!!
If Oregon doesn't beat Oregon State this Saturday, it's already-slim national championship hopes will be flushed completely down the BCS toilet. Ditto for its conference title hope, since Oregon has to win and Stanford has to lose this weekend for that to happen.
So DirecTV is screwing me and other subscribers out of being able to watch one of the most important Pac 12 football games of the season. There's no Pac 12 Network deal in sight.
I need to be temporarily adopted by a Comcast customer. From noon to four pm this Saturday. I've had all of my shots. I'm housetrained. I don't bite (anyone but DirecTV and Pac 12 Network employees). I'm not finicky (just put some chips and dip in my bowl).
Or I guess I could find a sports bar. I don't drink much, but I could make an exception this Saturday. That drunk screaming Fuck you, DirecTV! at the television would be me.
I'll be happy with whoever wins the football game. But DirecTV is the big loser regardless. Football fans in Oregon are going to remember your uncaring mendacity for a long, long time.
A Buddha-nature unraveling... what a terrible sight to behold :)
But, wait. There's a vision coming to me... not quite in focus... ah, here it is: Oregon's still the top team in the country.
Or maybe Alabama. But the rest, nah!
This is no phony-baloney, religious wishful
thinking. Look at the current paradigm: you win - no matter how crummy the opponents play or weak the schedule or flukey the win - you get enshrined. Grab your nose and look at the current numero uno. Lose and you sleep with the fishes until the enshrined falter or memories fade. Of course, if you lose near season's end, you're a fart in a phone booth with no chance of breathing clear air again. See how it works...
God, I must be channeling Nate Silver again.
Posted by: Dungeness | November 19, 2012 at 06:40 PM
I can help you watch the game for free with you Directv. I know a secret. If you want watch the game, or any Blazer games on Comcast Sportsnet, let me know.
Posted by: Josh P | November 20, 2012 at 06:27 PM
I agree this situation sucks!
More elitist crap...can only watch a COLLEGE game if you can afford expensive cable TV
Posted by: Platypus | November 20, 2012 at 08:57 PM
How do up watch for free Dungeness my email is [email protected] help please.
Posted by: Bob davis | November 21, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Help Me, I have crappy Direct TV and I NEED to watch the Civil War Game on Saturday
Posted by: Bob | November 21, 2012 at 03:47 PM
I want to know how to watch the games!!
Posted by: Amber | November 22, 2012 at 08:55 AM
Is there a sports bar showing the Oregon Oregon State game on TV in the East Bay?
Posted by: John | November 23, 2012 at 01:53 PM
I want to know how to watch civil war game e mail me [email protected] Fuck you direct tv i will bee calling you up on Monday and tell you to go fuck your greedy selves
Posted by: stan | November 24, 2012 at 11:43 AM