Yesterday I got back from a visit to Indiana. It was bizarre there.
Starting with the weather. On Saturday we were driving around in our (blessedly) air conditioned rental car. I glanced at the outside temperature display.
108 degrees. One...hundred...eight...degrees.
With high humidity. I felt like I was being waterboarded while standing straight up. At first it was difficult for my Oregon lungs to breathe. I kept thinking, "Is this air, or watery gruel I'm inhaling?"
Whenever the highly unusual heat wave came up in a conversation with locals, I'd mention global warming as often as I could. Indiana being rather (or a lot?) conservative, those two words seemed to pass through the brains of Indianans without leaving much of a trace.
I heard this year's corn crop is drying up. Maybe that will drive some climate change sense into midwest right-wing heads.
Bloomington, though, seemingly is the Indiana equivalent of Texas' Austin: an enclave of progressivism in a state that doesn't similarly lean leftward. We felt more at home in Bloomington, particularly at the Roots restaurant -- vegetarian and organic friendly.
But after we ate our lunch... coffee bizarreness ensued.
My wife, Laurel, wanted to get a cup of coffee and some sort of healthy muffin. How tough is that in Portland, Eugene, Corvallis, Ashland, Bend, or even here in less-cool Salem? Yes, we were in Indiana, not Oregon. Yet wouldn't liberal Bloomington have the same sort of caffeinated vibe?
We figured it would.
So after Laurel rejected the first coffee place we found after leaving the restaurant (it's muffins weren't organic, or whole grain, or something), we walked up the block in 104 degree weather, expecting that we'd soon run into another coffee house.
After all, downtown Salem has two Starbucks on opposite ends of the same downtown block. And across the street is the Beanery, another coffee house with healthy snacks. And a block or so away in one direction is the Governor's Cup, with the Clockworks Cafe a block away in the other direction.
Indiana, however, isn't nearly as coffee-addicted as Oregon is. My wife and I wandered on for several more blocks in the water-boarding'ish heat, looking for hot coffee, Oregonians that we are.
No luck.
Laurel said, "Where's the nearest Starbucks?" I got out my iPhone and fired up the Starbucks app. Good god! None near downtown, where we were. I was starting to get freaked out. What kind of city doesn't have a Starbucks or other coffee house on every block?
A non-Oregon city, obviously. We ended up driving back to the resort where we were staying. Which, also bizarrely, daily supplied only one regular coffee packet and one decaf packet for the inroom coffee machine.
First thing we did after checking in was write a note for the maid service: "Please leave three packets of regular coffee, no decaf." That'd get us Oregonians through the morning. Barely.
Lastly, the chicken on a swing thing. I'd heard that tipping cows was a form of midwest entertainment, but putting chickens on swings? New to me. Here's video evidence that this is a hot Indiana trend.
I stand by my claim that there are lots of local coffee shops in the area you were walking. I just counted quite a few of the top of my head. I think the problem a was twofold. Bloomington coffee shops are cleverly disguised and not necessarily labeled as "_coffeehouse". The other issue was that you may have had trouble picking them out due to the steamy haze outside at the time. I will admit that the NW has a much higer per capita coffee shop ratio, but would argue that Bloomington is probably the closest you'll find in Indiana :) it was great seeing you all, thanks so much for making the trip!
Posted by: Brook | July 10, 2012 at 05:01 AM
Those of us that watch LIly and her chicken have had a lot of laughs and the chicken must actally LIKE Lily to allow this!
Posted by: Cathy Paradise | July 10, 2012 at 06:16 AM
I believe I would rather take up skateboarding with its inherent dangers than go to Indiana in the middle of summer.
Posted by: Randy | July 10, 2012 at 07:39 AM
Brook, this is a very important subject, so I delved into the data -- using 2010 population data and Urbanspoon restaurant info under the "coffee" category. I eliminated seven establishments supposedly in Bloomington that really were in other nearby towns.
Ta-da, facts! Salem, Oregon: 154,637 pop; 44 coffee places. Bloomington, Indiana: 80,405 pop; 18 coffee places. Salem has one coffee place for every 3,514 residents. Bloomington, one for every 4,467.
I win! Salem is about 20% more densely caffeinated than Bloomington. But I admit the difference isn't as great as I said in my blog post. Not that I'm going to change it. Facts and blog posts are two different animals.
Plus... we don't make people knock on a unmarked door and whisper a secret password in order to gain entry into an undercover coffee house. What are you guys ashamed of in Indiana? Why aren't coffee places labeled "coffeehouse"?
No wonder we couldn't find a cup of coffee in downtown Bloomington. In Salem we have places called "Beanery" and "Governor's Cup." I guess in your state coffee houses are called "Joe's Hardware" or "Beth's CPA Services." Gosh, no wonder we walked right by them.
Posted by: Brian Hines | July 10, 2012 at 09:23 AM