Thanks to Obama, I'm going to stop saying "that's so gay!"

Yesterday I was thrilled to learn that President Obama has come out (so to speak) in favor of gay marriage. This is a good move ethically as well as politically. 

Homosexuals are people too, Mitt Romney and fellow gay-bashing Republicans. Recognizing the obvious will energize Obama's base, and it won't cost him many votes since homophobes already plan to vote against him.

Eugene Robinson ends his column on this subject with:

Politically, Obama may have taken a big step toward reclaiming the future.

The magic of hope and change that suffused his 2008 campaign has dissipated after 40 grueling months in office. Obama’s supporters could point to his accomplishments and cite the reasons why Romney would be a poor replacement, but the optimism and excitement were missing.

Obama could have kept silent on gay marriage, and frustrated progressives would still vote for him. Instead, he spoke out when he didn’t have to and took a stance that might hurt him in key states — reminding us how he can surprise and inspire.

Did I just catch a whiff of that hopey-changey stuff in the air?

For sure. I've already vowed to make a change in my habit of blurting out what I now realize is a slur: that's so gay!

Here's an example.

In the past, my wife has tried to get me to buy a Jams World shirt when we've gone to Maui. She likes the Jams World clothing line. High quality; made in Hawaii; kind of expensive, but not super-outrageous given what you get for your money.

Almost universally -- coincidentally, up until yesterday, the day Obama stated his new position on gay marriage -- I've responded to her pointing out a men's Jams World shirt I should consider buying with Oh, no, that's so gay!

Now, I've had good reasons for saying that. Check out the retro Jams World flambe.

lt just isn't me. Most of the time I wear gray and black combinations, often from Hawaii's other cool clothes purveyor, Crazy Shirts. My taste runs more toward a dark-themed macho Chinese dragon or big breaking wave, not pink flowers.

Still, I also like colorful shirts. Yesterday my wife showed me a Jams World shirt that was much more subdued than the one above. I ended up buying it. However...

My first reaction, more from habit than anything else, was to tell her that's so gay when she said, "I like this Jams World shirt." I kept my mouth shut, though. Partly because we were in a public place and I no longer feel comfortable saying that's so gay, in the same way I wouldn't say that's so black. 

And partly because I had just learned about Obama's gay-friendly words a few hours before. I was enthused by them. I felt that the United States had taken a big step toward ending discrimination against homosexuals. 

Which has been a long time coming. 

Back in my high school years, 1962-66, us guys taunted each other with faggot! There weren't any openly gay students in my high school. Any guy who looked or acted too feminine was teased mercilessly. We had essentially zero compassion for gays.

So I was astounded to read what Mitt Romney said about his own (much worse) gay-bashing experience, given that we are almost exactly the same age.

“I don’t remember that incident,” Romney said, laughing. “I certainly don’t believe that I thought the fellow was homosexual. That was the furthest thing from our minds back in the 1960s, so that was not the case."

Ridiculous. Back in the 1960's attitudes were hugely different toward homosexuals than they are now. Almost certainly Romney is trying to erase and excuse his past, as he so often does.

My past is still with me.

I wasn't so clearly aware of that until yesterday, when I caught myself about to say that's so gay! Yes, it seems that there is a certain gay style, though I can't describe it exactly. Likewise, there is a certain black style, though I also can't describe it exactly.

But my use of that's so gay had a homophobic edge to it. I was afraid of looking like I was gay. I didn't want people to think, "Only a gay guy would wear that shirt." 

Why? Why couldn't I simply say to my wife, that shirt doesn't appeal to me; too pink, too bright?

That's what I'm going to say now. No more that's so gay. Of such small steps revolutions are made. May we have legal gay marriage all across the United States soon.

Here's the Jams World shirt that I bought. I've worn it several times. No one has asked me if I'm gay.

In the unlikely event someone does, I'll respond, "Yes. You must have been able to tell from the Jams World shirt. Very observant. By the way, please support gay marriage. We gays deserve equal rights. Along with nice clothes."

Comments

[tucson]

You're pretty tough on Romney considering that his gay bashing was about 47 years ago when he was an immature teenager under peer pressure and hadn't grown up yet. Where is your progressive compassion and understanding in his case?

I did some pretty bad dumb ass stuff myself 45-50 years ago that would be next to impossible for me to do now.

Ob*ma was a self-admitted crack smoker in his younger years. Should we assume he still harbors a desire for crack?

Are you still the starry-eyed guru devotee and true believer you once were just 15 years ago? You were an adult then. What's your excuse?

You said Romney is a gay bashing republican. Cheap shot, my friend, cheap shot.

[Brian Hines]

tucson, Romeny wants a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage anywhere in the United States. So much for state's rights and libertarian "government, leave me alone."

Anyone who wants a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage deserves the title "gay basher." They clearly are biased against homosexuals.

Regarding his high school gay-bashing, what he did was far worse than anything me and my "faggot" speaking friends did. We never assaulted a gay guy, like Romney did. And he deserves criticism for, once again, dissembling. Saying tbat nobody back then thought about classmates being homosexual. Hard to believe that was true, given all the homophobia present among male teenagers in the '60s.

[DJ]

Obama claims to want to let states decide the gay marriage question. But that’s a transparent lie since without DOMA federal judges will ultimately force states to recognize the marriages of gay couples that relocate from state to state. Blocking DOMA blocks the will of the states.

Funny how Democrats think it’s admirable for Obama to serially “evolve” during his adult life between his on/off/on back-and-forth gay-marriage stances (which means for a time he was a “gay basher” purely for political gain and apparently that’s OK with them) – while at the same time they think it’s reasonable to assume Romney hasn’t evolved at all from his days of adolescent hijinx.

It always amazes me how easy it is for some voters to let themselves be used this way. The Obama “evolution” occurring on the eve of the Romney “revelation” – if that isn’t obvious and cheap distraction style politics, what is? Probably the expert work of David Axelrod.

Sincerely,
Big Oil

[Brian Hines]

Romney hasn't evolved very far, if at all, in his attitudes toward gays. Recently a highly qualified foreign policy advisor departed Romney's campaign after being ostracized -- following pressure from the Christian Radical Right.

This shows how little moral fiber Romney has, not a good quality for a president. He blows wherever the Tea Party winds push him, as in getting rid of a competent staff person because he is openly gay.

[DJ]

Yes, Richard Grenell is openly gay and Mitt Romney hired him for his expertise. How bigoted of Mitt.

It was Grenell’s decision to resign after being targeted by right-wing homophobes. Romney actually wanted him to stay on.

Here’s Romney last year:

When Romney took the podium at a social conservative summit late last year, he criticized the “poisonous language” of the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, a prominent conservative activist known for his inflammatory language toward gays, Muslims and others. Romney did not name names in criticizing Fischer, who spoke at the summit after the former Massachusetts governor did.

“One of the speakers who will follow me today has crossed that line,” Romney told the crowd last fall. “Poisonous language does not advance our cause.”

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/election-2012/post/romney-defends-gay-staffer-who-resigned-calls-grenell-very-accomplished/2012/05/04/gIQAAV9C1T_blog.html

Sincerely,
Big Oil

[tucson]

Personally, I don't care if gays get get married. I don't see where anyone is hurt by that and I think eventually gay marriage will be gnerally accepted.

However, it definitely is a rapid evolution of the term "marriage" which has always legally denoted a union between a man and a woman. So, I can understand where conservatives and traditional thinking people are coming from on that.

I think it is a stretch to call someone a "gay basher" who has a traditional view of what marriage means. Just because they don't agree with gay marriage doesn't mean they want gays beaten and left to die on a rural fence post in Wyoming.

[Brian Hines]

DJ, check your facts: if Romney had wanted Grenell to stay on, he should have asked him to. But he didn't. As Ruth Marcus says, Romney is a wimp. Or biased against gays. I say, both. See:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/post/more-mush-from-wimpy-romney/2012/05/04/gIQAJ0tX1T_blog.html

Excerpt:
-------------------
"More troubling, as a previous Republican nominee, Bob Dole, liked to say about rival Bill Clinton during the 1996 campaign, where’s the outrage? “Sorry to have him go?” The guy whose peanut butter got in your chocolate sounds more distressed.

Romney said not one word about the homophobic comments from some social conservatives that led to the departure of foreign policy spokesman Richard Grenell. And if the candidate really wanted Grenell to stay, perhaps he could have called him personally?

Romney adviser Eric Fehrnstrom came off as a profile in courage in comparison to his boss. Appearing on MSNBC’s ‘Daily Rundown,” Fehrnstrom offered, "I will say that of course there were voices of intolerance that expressed themselves during this debate — that was unfortunate. "

Fehrnstrom claimed that Romney “has a record of taking on intolerant voices within his own party.” He cited Romney’s remarks last fall at the conservative Values Voters Summit, where, Fehrnstrom said “he denounced some of the poisonous language that is being used by some of the same people who had criticized Ric Grenell’s appointment.”

This would be more convincing if (a) Romney had identified these voices (hint: Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association) by name and (b) if Romney had expressed any outrage — even a teensy, weensy bit — about the attack on Grenell.

But he didn’t, which suggests that Fischer had it just right when he boasted, in the wake of Grenell’s departure, that social conservatives had scored a “huge win.” When Fischer and I agree that the episode makes Romney look weak, you know he’s got a problem.

[DJ]

Brian, what’s really sad here is – you agree with the far right bigots – you both claim Grenell was forced out by Romney – as though that is some sort of victory.

Did you ever comment on, celebrate, or even notice Grenell’s hiring? If not, you have to ask yourself why you are now celebrating his departure.

Huffington Post Gay Voices contributor Cyd Zeigler describes left wing demonization of Romney over the Grenell departure as a “celebration” – no different from and as equally divisive as the celebration from the far right. He calls the far left and far right the “far dividers” – squabblers who both claim a perverted “victory” but now have more in common with one another than with fair-minded Americans who they leave in the rear view mirror.

He titles his piece – The Celebration of Richard Grenell's Resignation Shows How Similar the Far Left and Far Right Have Become:

“Want to know if you've drifted into the divisive political extreme? If you celebrated the resignation of Richard Grenell from the Romney campaign this week, you fit the bill. You're part of the problem of division in this country. It's people like you who have driven people like me from both the Democratic and Republican parties. And it's episodes like this that continue to fracture our society.”

“…people on the far left…They're ecstatic about Grenell's resignation, because they twist it into more red meat for their constituents.”

Read more about yourself and your far right counterparts here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cyd-zeigler/richard-grenell-resignation_b_1474423.html

Sincerely,
Big Oil

[Brian Hines]

DJ, I'm not "celebrating" Grenell being forced out. I'm simply observing that this tells us something about Romney's attitude toward gays and how he would govern if, ugh, somehow he became president.

Romney would kiss up to radical right-wing Christian'ists. He wouldn't take firm stands on any issue that offended Tea Party wackos. He'd continue to blow with whatever political breezes seem most favorable at the moment.

Not good qualities for a president.

[DJ]

A president that would kiss up to his base…who wouldn’t take firm stands…who’d continue to blow with the political breezes.

How are you not able to see that that describes Obama on gay marriage exactly? He’s been using the gay community on this issue since 1996.

Check out this headline: “Making History: Obama’s Marriage Views Changed”

That’s not a 2012 headline – it’s a 1996 headline from Windy City Times, a Chicago Gay & Lesbian publication. 1996 was the year Obama won his Illinois state senate seat…16 years ago…before Obama’s daughters were around to supposedly influence his thinking.

Obama 1996: "I favor legalizing same-sex marriages, and would fight efforts to prohibit such marriages." Why, then, did Obama oppose same sex marriage in 2004 and 2008?

Any attack on Romney over the gay marriage topic that doesn’t place equal scrutiny on the real record of Obama is nothing short of disingenuous progressive propaganda.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/13/obama-once-supported-same_n_157656.html

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2012/05/11/INAT1MO0N7.DTL

Sincerely,
Big Oil