"Motherfucking Bike" (almost) makes me want to ride one

I have a mountain bike. But I shun mountains, because they are so up'ity. Flat or downhill... that's my ideal bicycling terrain. 

Since we live in the hills of rural south Salem, this constrains my interest in bike-riding. But after watching "Motherfucking Bike," I was (almost) inspired to join the motherfuckingbike movement -- not that I have any idea what it is.

 

However, from the video I seem to be too old to join the two-wheeled non-motorized hipsters.

And my 63 year old sense of propriety -- what's left of it -- wonders if the lyrics to Motherfucking Bike are just a bit inflammatory, feeding in as they do to the stereotype of anarchist bicyclists ignoring traffic laws and claiming to own the road.

Of course, what else would you expect from from a video called Motherfucking Bike?

Here's the lyrics.

I rise in the morning, and greet the day
pull out the bike and I'm on my way
The transportation shows I care
Every turn of the pedal - cleans the air
Greener than green, I'm saving the planet
just like my friends Daryl, Sean, Toby and Janet
no greenhouse gas, a tiny carbon footprint up your ass
I'm on a motherfucking bike

Sharing my aggression is what that I do
Every day I'm riding the 'Tour de Fuck You'
Banging on hoods and kicking in fenders
a right-of-way-aholic on a permanent bender
Running red lights at the fat intersection
Cutout seat protects my erection
You like the bird, in my hand?
Take two from a motherfucking track stand on my bike
I'm on a motherfucking bike
I'm on a motherfucking bike

Skinny-ass pants, the 'stache is fat
the canvas kicks, the ear-flap hat
Got no gears so you best not dis me
yeah bitch, it's a motherfuckin fixie
Middle of the street is where you're gonna find me
a shitload of traffic backed up behind me
Critical Mass is a Facebook "like"
I'm on a motherfucking bike
I'm on a motherfucking bike
(horn and bell solo)

Comments

[Breakfast on Bikes]

But even if bikes don't work for you for daily transportation, what about a summer jaunt to Thompson's? Or a spring picnic and a bottle of wine at Ankeny Vineyard? There's no better way to enjoy the fair weather and flowers and birds than by bike!

You don't have to participate in hipster absurdities, or their critique, to enjoy life by bike!

[Holly of HollYarns]

As a San Franciscan cyclist, I have to say that this is not supposed to feed the inflammed, self-righteous anger of cyclists, but is a well-done piece of satire. If you lived here, you'd see that each of the cyclists featured in the video is a caricature of some of our best-loved/most-hated (all at the same time) peeps in the city.

[Gil Johnson]

Hines, even at 63, I know you have the 'tude to be a great urban biker. I'm the same age and bike every day in Portland to get to work and elsewhere (I used to live in the country but had to get back to the city to get on my 'motherfuckin' bike').

Like the previous poster, it's all satire. There are morons in every mode of transportation. I confess to getting peeved at the black clad, helmetless, lightless bikers who nearly T-bone me at intersections while riding after dark.

[Joe]

No age limit to bikes, or a righteously obnoxious attitude. Don't over think it. Get a bike and do it!

[paul]

At 53 years, I ride everywhere. In great physical shape too.