After getting several unwanted email "newsletters" from the Oregon legislature's unchallenged Spam King, Rep. Dennis Richardson, tonight I followed the Golden Rule and sent him one of my own.
Richardson used a public records request to get hundreds of thousands of personal email addresses from the state computer system. Well, give spam and you deserve to get spam.
Here's the email message I just sent to the Spam King. Subject: "Great offer."
Rep. Richardson, thanks for sending me another of your unwanted emails. I've sent you a "DELETE" request, but wanted you to enjoy some spam email from me. Since you've chosen to send hundreds of thousands of Oregonians your own personal spam, I figure you must like getting spam emails just as much as you enjoy sending them.
Golden Rule, you know. Do unto others…
Glad to oblige. I'd like to give you a special offer on my book, "Return to the One," which is about the teachings of an important Greek philosopher, Plotinus. You'll have to order it from Amazon at full price. Hey, you're into job creating, and this is my horribly-paid job now that I'm retired -- writing.
However, if you mail me the book copy that you've purchased, along with a postage paid return envelope (use book rate, it's cheaper), I'll be pleased to return you a signed copy that you can proudly display in your legislative office waiting area.
I'm sure you'll enjoy the inscription: "For Dennis, the spam king. I'm so happy to be writing something to you, rather than getting more spam crap FROM you. Warm greetings, Brian."
It's been fun exchanging spam with you. Briefly. But like I said, I've asked you to take me off your Spam Mailing List, so it looks like our spam'y relationship is over. Farewell, Dennis.
-- Brian
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