Readers of this blog post likely will have two common reactions to it: "Brian, you have too much time on your hands" and "Brian, you think too much." I disagree. To both notions.
Ordering coffee is a subject of great importance to me. Ditto with using my brain to ponder matters of Great Importance (the thought just came to me that those words deserve capital letters).
So I've decided that it's time to bare my caffeinated soul.
I need to talk about the ethical quandary that arises almost every time I go into a coffee house and ask the barista to fill my much-beloved Thermos Stainless King 16 Ounce Travel Mug with some brew.
On the positive side, most coffee purveyors give me a reduced price for using my own mug. At Starbucks, its ten cents. At Salem Oregon's downtown Beanery, it's a marvelous thirty-five cents -- which makes a 16 ounce brewed coffee $1.55 instead of $1.90.
After ordering, though, some moral questions usually start to arise. Typically I hand my mug to the barista with a "16 ounces is up to the line" comment.
I say this because while the Beanery pumps coffee into containers of defined sizes, then pours the content of the 16 ounce container into my mug, other places (including Starbucks) have a more free-form approach to filling a customer's own mug.
Yesterday a Starbucks barista at the south Salem Fred Meyer store offered to give me a senior discount on a tall coffee when I handed her my mug. I told her, "But it holds a grande, 16 ounces." That quashed the deal. However, she said "Your mug looked like it held a tall."
Once I've communicated that an interior line in the Thermos mug marks the 16 ounce level, typically the barista asks "Do you need room?" (for milk).
The pause before I answer isn't a sign of a "senior moment." Rather, it's produced by my mind going into moral quandary mode. My legalistic side considers that since I'm paying for a 16 ounce coffee, I should get a full 16 ounces. Fill the mug up to the line, damn it!
But I do put milk into my coffee.
I just want the milk to be in addition to 16 ounces of coffee, not a replacement for part of the coffee. There's a problem, though, with offering up a simple "No" to the "Do you need room?" question.
The Thermos mug instructions say that liquids shouldn't be added above the "full" line, because the cap has to be screwed on in an open position. If it is closed, the vacuum can be so strong it's very difficult to push the lever from closed to open.
But if I add the amount of milk I like to a full 16 ounces of coffee in the mug, making the liquid level reach almost to the top of the container (ooh, I like breaking the Thermos rules!), I've found that the coffee/milk mixture will ooze through the holes in the lid as I screw it on.
If I'm careful it won't overflow the lid, just come close. This allows me to say "No, I don't need room" and still be able to add quite a bit of skim milk or half & half (depending on how overweight I feel that day) to my mug.
Morally I worry a bit, though, about how I've already gotten a discount for using my own mug, and then I'm able to get a full 16 ounces of coffee in my mug plus a lot of milk, while customers who get coffee in a store container have to ask for room (meaning, less coffee) if they want the same quantity of milk.
This isn't a huge deal to me, just a mild feeling of possible unfairness that I'm getting more coffee than other 16 ounce buyers are. (Remembering that the Thermos mug cost me $20 helps extinguish that feeling.)
My larger moral quandary comes when I'm in a rush and don't want to go through the fill to the brim and carefully screw on the mug top deal. I just want to quickly pour in some milk, close the lever on my mug, and dash out the coffee house door.
In this case, if I say "No, I don't need room," that's untrue. I do, because I don't have time to sip some black coffee and get the brew safely below the full line before adding my desired quantity of milk.
So if I've gotten a full 16 ounces of coffee, often I'll pour some out into a trash container in the middle of the milk bar, then grab the skim or half & half container. I feel sort of funny doing this, since this wouldn't have been necessary if I'd asked for room.
But I also don't like giving up my God Tao-given right to have 16 ounces of coffee put into my Thermos mug if I've paid for that amount.
This does, though, run the risk of splattering coffee on the floor of a coffee house where I get a full 16 ounces, add milk, and then quickly screw the top on my mug -- resulting in an overflow.
("Run the risk" isn't entirely accurate, since this exact scenario happened today as I was conducting research for this blog post. I choose not to name the Salem coffee purveyor where this happened, as I'd prefer not to have the owners use my name as an epithet when they wonder why it's necessary to clean their carpet earlier than they expected. Note: in my defense, carpets shouldn't be used as a floor covering near coffee bars.)
Well, I'll continue to struggle with my ethical quandary. Fortunately, my moral compass seems to function best, or at least most energetically, under the influence of caffeine.
Coffee *is* something we have to take seriously. And there is something to deal with every time we go to a coffee house. Mine is all those paper cups I use in order to avoid the hazzle you go through each time you bring your own Thermos cup. They linger in my conscience because I know it's not good for the environment. Therefore, lately, I brew my own coffee at home if time permits.
Posted by: delcelalo | June 02, 2011 at 08:11 AM
Nice looking mug there Brian. I agree you do have too much time on your hands, but... I have a solution.
You can have them fill it the 16 line, and them man up and and take a swig of it. With any luck you will knock the top 1-1.5oz off and you will have your room to wreck the rest of the cup with milk or cream or... whatever. That way, you get your money's worth (don't ever pour out nectar of the Gods (or whoever for you))
Coffee is serious business. Straight up is the way to go.... Don't even get me started on the caramel mocha choca lata ga ga people. We have candy bars for that.
Posted by: Dan Gellner | June 02, 2011 at 12:40 PM
Dan, excellent suggestion. But your mention of "man up" points to the only drawback for me: I much prefer the taste of coffee once its been milk'ified.
Yes, I can drink it black. it just doesn't have the same sensuous smoothness that way. Also, sometimes the first couple of sips are damn hot. That magnifies the "man up" requirement.
And it takes a bit of time to do the sipping, particularly if I have to mutter, "damn, that's hot!" between every sip.
Still, you've hit on a strategy that doesn't waste coffee down the trash bin yet still gets me a full 16 ounces for my 16 ounce payment.
As to the mug, it's one of the most satisfying purchases I've ever made. I love the retro Thermos name on the side. And its absolutely leak proof, so long as the lever is pressed all the way to the closed position.
There are hundreds of glowing Amazon comments about this mug. That helped me decide to buy it. They can't all be Thermos employees, can they? It keeps coffee warm for hours and hours. And I really like a mug that doesn't have a preferred sipping side. You can pick up this mug and drink from it at any angle. Beautiful.
Posted by: Blogger Brian | June 02, 2011 at 01:11 PM
My quirk is that I can't enjoy my home brewed Starbucks French Roast (sometime mixed with Italian Roast or a third, a third a third with a local roaster's Expresso) unless I drink it out of a Starbuck's paper cup with a plastic sip lid. I don't care what size. Even a short works for me. When I buy a pound I ask to buy some cups and they usually give me a few free. Note: you can use them about 4-5 times before they get soggy and start to drip on your shirt. Yes, coffee is serious business.
Posted by: Randy | June 03, 2011 at 05:27 PM
You COULD always just add the milk to your thermos first... No? Yes?
Posted by: Joan | December 10, 2014 at 10:08 PM
Joan, belated reply to say...excellent idea. Since I prefer soy creamer, I actually bought an insulated bag that could be used to carry some with me for my frequent visits to coffee shops.
However, I continue to have this admittedly weird and rather irrational idea that when I buy a "grande" mug of coffee, I should get the full 16 ounces.
So what I usually do now is say "no" when I'm asked if I want room. Often the barista still leaves enough space in my beloved Thermos mug to add some milk.
If not, I just sip some hot black coffee until the level has dropped enough to add milk. This allows me to feel like I'm getting my full caffeine fix from the 16 ounce coffee I've bought.
Like I said, weird and irrational. But those words don't scare me. Much of my life is based on them.
Posted by: Brian Hines | March 06, 2015 at 02:01 PM
Jesus Christ don't waste the goddamn coffee man. Just say no. There is nothing worse than a greedy wasteful bastard.. Especially one who's claiming to do good.
DEAR GOD.
Posted by: Thoughtful Bert | May 23, 2016 at 08:31 AM