This is my Starbucks gold card. I haul it out of my wallet and show it to people whenever it seems appropriate. And also, when it isn't.
On the front it says: "Brian Hines Cardholder since 2008"
Wow! That's two years ago. I deserve this prestigious card! Well, semi-prestigious, considering all I did to get it was use my old Starbucks rewards card 30 times.
At least that's how I believe it came into my adoring hands. Starbucks says so, thus it must be true. I'm a cult member. I've even joined the Starbucks Passion Panel.
What that means is, periodically Starbucks emails me a notice of a customer survey that I'm supposed to fill out online. It takes about 5 - 10 minutes.
I don't get anything for answering the questions. But that's what cults are good at: sucking people in, then getting them to serve The Cause. My last Passion Panel experience involved a lot of questions about potential oatmeal toppings.
I was pleased to spend some of the remaining minutes in my life, which rumor has it are decreasing steadily, pondering how much I'd enjoy a fruit topping on Starbucks oatmeal compared to (ugh!) chocolate something or other.
In my more rational Starbucks-related moments, I wonder why I'm so committed to a mega-business that I used to view as disgustingly corporate and sterile compared to Salem's independent coffehouses.
And why I love to whip out my Gold Card, point it at a friend's face, and wiggle it back and forth while warning them that if they don't close their eyes, the bright laser'ish light reflecting off its surface could be blinding.
I guess the marketing department at Starbucks knows its stuff. For some reason I'm happy to load my card with $25 of VISA-supplied value, then let Starbucks enjoy an interest free loan for a month or so until I use up the balance.
Via their iPhone app, I then get a thrill out of reloading my Starbucks card.
Eventually I'll probably be able to use that app to order and pay for my coffee myself, thereby providing Starbucks with additional gratis cultish service (and adding to the company's profit margin).
For the past seven weeks I've been diligently carrying around the Starbucks Something Bold promotion card in my wallet.
I'm seriously committed to having baristas place a sticker on each of the eight "bold" coffees featured weekly. To get my sticker, all I have to do is hand over my Gold Card and have $1.85 subtracted from the balance for a Grande bold whatever-it-is that week.
Getting a sticker for some accomplishment was free when I was in elementary school, but otherwise the experience feels the same.
Recently I've taken to asking the barista at the downtown Salem Starbucks to be extra careful when she places the sticker on my card, so it lines up just right with the box where it is supposed to go.
Week #8 starts on April 26. Just six days away! Ooh, ooh, I can't wait! Once I've collected my eighth sticker I'll be able to take home a free pound of bold coffee.
Well, yeah, it'll have cost me $1.85 times eight, or $14.80.
But when you're a Gold Card member of the Starbucks cult, who cares? When I pull out my card to pay for coffee, aiming it at the light for maximum dazzling of other customers in the store, I feel like I'm special, a member of the Starbucks inner circle.
Which is a pretty damn large circle, undoubtedly.
Hmmmm... if I keep on buying coffee several times a week at Starbucks, maybe a Platinum Card will arrive in the mail one day.
Ah, something to hope for. It's great to have goals. Thank you, Starbucks, for making my life so meaningful.
I'm strangely proud of working towards my gold card. And by working, I mean drinking. When that day arrives, I'd love to take a follow up picture, our cult memberships side by side.
Posted by: Matt Riopelle | April 20, 2010 at 10:17 PM
I love this blog post. I carried around the 8 weeks of bold little booklet and it's time to turn it in for a pound of coffee. Did you decide what you would get? Sidamo is going to be a discontinued coffee so that might be something to look at. Though, I will probably get Sumatra. It's always a favorite.
Posted by: Melody | May 03, 2010 at 07:29 PM
Melody, I went with Gold Coast Blend. It was the boldest of the bold, in my opinion. But I like strong coffee. Sumatra is good also. No bad choices when the coffee is free.
Posted by: Brian Hines | May 03, 2010 at 08:03 PM
Great post! It's so true. I'm just waiting for my gold card to arrive in the mail. Hopefully I don't blind myself by staring at it for so long.
Posted by: Rachel | July 13, 2010 at 01:32 PM
It IS strange how eager I am to make 30 purchases at Starbucks, just to get my custom gold card... I guess the marketing folks really got this one right. ;)
Posted by: Matt | July 19, 2010 at 12:01 PM
I smiled all throughout this post! I carried that bold booklet, too and could not wait to get my coffee. I got the African. It was amazing! ALso, I just got my Gold Card announcement via email. I can not wait to get the welcome packet! Cheers!
Posted by: Collin | July 23, 2010 at 12:53 PM
I am 3 stars away from mine! :)
Posted by: [email protected] | September 05, 2010 at 11:26 AM
This post makes me so excited to get my custom card in the mail, how long did it take for them to mail you yours? it seems like mine is taking forever
Posted by: Linda | January 18, 2011 at 07:22 PM
Taking a deep breath....I reached the goal today. I had a fan base monitoring my progress on Facebook. It is a great day. Now what? Do you think they will create a platinum level card?
Posted by: Billzer | February 19, 2011 at 07:12 PM
Billzer, we can only hope. "Gold" is starting to seem so plebeian. We deserve more.
However, I've started using my iPhone to pay for stuff at Starbucks, via the barcode reader on the Starbucks app. So now I don't even pull my Gold Card out anymore.
Still get credit toward my free drink, of course. But no one sees my illustrious Gold Card'ness. Seems to me like the card reader should play some tune ("Hail to the Chief"?) when a Gold Card owner makes a purchase, so everyone in the store can turn and recognize us. (Bowing would be nice.)
Posted by: Blogger Brian | February 19, 2011 at 07:20 PM
I love Starbucks but I run an open mike poetry night at an indie coffeehouse. So I have to hide my Starbucks addiction. Honestly, sometimes I think Starbucks tastes better than the indie coffeehouse I frequent but you'll never catch me saying that aloud!
Posted by: Little Miss Anonymous | February 20, 2011 at 05:42 PM
Oh LOrd thank you for such a humorous blog post.....that made me smile. I'm one star away baby......
Posted by: Daniel Neese | January 21, 2012 at 11:14 AM
Under the realm of small world I stumbled upon this blog on the day I achieved? my gold card here in Toronto. Slightly
disappointed in the lack of trumpets I
soldiered on with my day. Cleverly droll
and worth the read.Thanks Brian for the smile.
Posted by: shelly sufrin | January 25, 2012 at 08:25 PM
Okay, so the gold card has been in my possession some 2008. I am fearing the day when the card no longer works from over use. Or if it gets damaged, what will I do? No "regular" gift card will do. Does anyone know it it can be replaced - complete with name and start date? Tell me I don't have important things to worry about...
Posted by: S Marsco | April 08, 2012 at 03:58 PM
It is a hilarious presentation of the starbucks gold cult. I am looking forward to my gold card and then even I will take pride in flashing and dazzling my gold card ;)
Posted by: Captain Nemo | February 12, 2013 at 11:03 AM