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April 07, 2009


Interesting observation. I do feel older in my 'soul' and it's not like I feel as old as my body looksm but my thoughts, my way of seeing what happens, my observations about life, they have changed. I feel that I look out of an older perspective than I had back at say 30. That might explain why I am not drawn to the looks of young guys at all (any age can seem beautiful to me in the abstract sense but talking about someone I'd like to be with) but am very drawn to older men for how they look. Sometimes in a store, I see a man much older than me, and find him attractive too. Not only will I think he must have been hot when he was young, I admire what he looks like for the age he is. I am not drawn to youth (of course there are always exceptions *s*). Now, some older women do what you describe and become cougars looking for the younger guy. I never understood that but maybe you just explained why that would be. It's how they see themselves; so it's not just men who do that. But me, give me that older guy with some wrinkles, lines and gray in his hair. Am I assuming he has some wisdom to go with it? hmmmmmmmm

Rain...gosh, why is it that I like what you said so much? It just makes so very much sense. Especially when I look in the mirror. Thanks for your paean to older men. We need such praise song.

Dear Brian and Rain,

In my case (if not in yours), I suspect that some of my "consciousness" has been enhanced - at least slightly - by the lessening of a "drug" in my life: testosterone. It is amazing to me how any of us have been able to survive youth under the influences of such a drug with such a huge impact (or under the influences of estrogen, as for women). "Normal" adolescence and young adulthood (for a huge number of folks) just seems like a "drug-induced" frenzy that thwarts most sensible thought, or perception. The "focus" of "awareness" was/is often rather restricted, by virtue of such (quite "normal") circumstances. I actually feel somewhat relieved at times. (On other occasions - thanks to "memory" - somewhat less so.)

Robert Paul Howard

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