For five years Laurel and I have been building up to our ultimate nyah, nyah, you're so wrong! retort to Dr. Laura Schlesinger, the advice guru who is fond of reducing complex and mysterious human relationships to simplistic sound bites.
Back in 2004 I warmed up with "14th anniversary -- take that Dr. Laura!" I noted that Laurel and I had known each other for about eight months before we got married, and I proposed within four months.
A no-no for Dr. Laura, especially since I'd recently ended an eighteen year marriage. I said:
Ridiculous. A point I repeated last year on St. Patrick's Day in "18th anniversary -- Dr. Laura is even more wrong."
However, my gloating couldn't be complete, because my first marriage lasted a few months longer than 18 years. Thus I had to say:
This anniversary means a lot to me. I was married a bit more than eighteen years in my first martial go-around, which ended in divorce. So Laurel and I soon will be together longer than Sue and I were.
I don't know if there's any generalizable lesson to be drawn from this except: if at first a marriage doesn't succeed, try again.
Second time around, hopefully you'll have learned something about how two people can live together without driving each other crazy.
As Laurel and I have managed to do, against Dr. Laura's odds.
Really do, as of yesterday. Nineteen years! Like I said on my other blog last night...
Growth and increased understanding come with experience. That's why second choices usually turn out better than first choices.