A rose cleavage tattoo: to stare or not to stare?

Ah, I enjoy etiquette questions of this sort (especially when I get to both ask and answer it):

Q. Mr. Manners, if an attractive young woman wears a low-cut top, showing off a rose tattoo nestled in her shapely cleavage, is it proper to admire this work of body art in an obvious fashion?

A. Absolutely.

That's my short answer. Here's the explanation, and some background.

Recently I went into a Salem business and was approached by a twenty-something female employee. I was immediately distracted from my intended task by a more enjoyable activity.

Namely, appreciating the sight of an artistic rose tattoo that had the good fortune to occupy the nicely-curved valley between her breasts, which were exposed (but not excessively) by a scoop-necked blouse.

Since I'm about six feet tall, and she was considerably shorter, I couldn't avoid gazing at the tattoo and its surrounding busty environment.

I did make a desultory attempt to maintain eye contact with her as she asked if she could help me, but quickly realized that this was going to be impossible. Like a living bobblehead, I found my eyes bouncing back and forth from her chest to her face, which was nice to look at -- but considerably less interesting than the vivid red rose.

I just spent some enjoyable moments with Google looking for a photo of a similar tattoo. No success. This page has some cleavage tattoos, but not the right kind. And the rose tattoo here is way more chest-expansive.

Contemplating the etiquette of the situation after driving off, I decided that my response was entirely appropriate. Such was confirmed by a couple of friends, one male and one female, who supported my reasoning when I asked their opinion.

Which is, that if a woman (1) exposes her cleavage via her business attire, and (2) draws more attention to this part of her body via a bright red tattoo, it would be discourteous not to stare at what she obviously wants admired.

There are, of course, limits.

I'm glad that I didn't whip out my iPhone and snap a photo of her breasts (though I admit this thought later passed through the inappropriate-action area of my male brain -- which comprises a significant fraction of the whole neuronal mass).

My Googling did reveal that some consider cleavage tattoos trashy. And one commenter on a "Dress for Failure for Women" post said:

I’ll never forget the marketing assistant in a client’s office who perpetually wore ample cleavage coupled with a prominent rose tattoo…. well, you can probably guess where. Talk about a distraction. Unfortunately for her, the distraction was primarily humerous. We could never quite get past the thought of how close the tattoo artist might have come to puncturing her (ahem) chest.

Well, I can only speak the manly truth: I enjoy visiting business establishments where the female employees are attractive. If they dress provocatively, that's even better.

Given a choice between being helped by a busty young thing with a rose tattoo showing in her cleavage, and -- gosh, just about anybody else -- you can guess where I'm more likely to take my return business.

(Check out some responses to the question, "Is it rude to stare at someone's tattoo?" No, say the tattooed. Just don't touch, usually.)

Comments

[Rain]

Well I cannot speak for the rose tattoo question, but I will say that very few men look at my eyes as they pass and that doesn't mean just when wearing cleavage baring tops. I have an opinion that men check out one area first and only maybe get beyond it if there is enough time before they are past.

[Brian]

Rain, you -- and all other good-looking women -- are a gift to the world. Men's eyeful admiration of your, um, assets, is their way of saying "thank you."

For those who don't know Rain, she is an Oregon blogger who writes eclectically and well on interesting subjects. I check out her blog daily.

Her photos, including those of herself, are a big part of the attraction. Here's a sample:
http://rainydaythought.blogspot.com/2008/08/black-and-white-monochrome.html

[Rain]

Well thank you. You definitely made my day brighter. Your blog is also one of my regular reads. I read this one and Church of the Churchless whenever they are updated as both are always stimulating to my mind and sometimes give me a good laugh to go along with it :)

[NL]

This happened to me yesterday at a Portland coffee shop, but the tattoo was spread out from the middle in both directions (clearly though, centered smack in the middle of the cleavage, and framed by a shirt that had to have been intentionally selected.)

[Ocelot]

Many moons ago I was at a Sears with my dad at Halloween, and an attractive female employee asked if we needed help. We didn't, but she was friendly and we chatted a bit. She was in costume and had a fake rose tattoo on one of her breasts. Her costume was, of course, sexy, and she told me how she meant to put the tattoo higher but missed....so then she proceeded to pull her cleavage further down to show me! I enjoyed that.

[Susan]

I don't think that when a rose tattoo is prominently displayed along with cleavage, that it's an accident. You are expected to check it out.

That doesn't mean you have to stare at it whole drool runs down your mouth, but a lingering, subtle series of glances is not out of line.

Just my opinion.

Susan