Let's block off the Columbia Gorge

After having watched countless TV weatherperson explanations about why Portland and the Willamette Valley are locked in a record-breaking snow and ice spell ("worst storm since 1968...40 years!") the solution is obvious:

Block off the goddamn Columbia Gorge.That's where the cold air keeps coming from.

I wouldn't have needed to put on and take off tire chains several times this week if it weren't for the gap between western and eastern Oregon that keeps on funneling frigid winds into the Portland area, and thence down into the usually temperate central valley.

Normally, as a card carrying 1000 Friends of Oregon member, I support preserving the environment.

But I also like being able to drive into Salem without slipping and sliding, and having our electricity stay on.

The final straw came when I took our dog for a walk this evening and discovered that when a large canine who has a decided tendency to pull on the leash is placed on an ice-covered road, the human holding the other end of the leash will be on the edge of his feet during a two mile meander under a freezing starry sky.

So when I got home, fed up with having to deal with cold air that should have the good sense to stay where it belongs on the other side of the Cascades, I did some research.

Not much, because I'd already made my mind up that a gate needs to be shut across the Columbia Gorge at the beginning of winter. A few seconds of Googling gave me a scientific rationale.

An impressively titled study: "The Structure and Dynamics of Columbia Gorge Gap Flow Revealed by High-Resolution Numerical Modeling."
Download Columbia Gorge wind study (large PDF file)

I couldn't understand it. But all I needed to make my case for the Gorge Gate was this introductory graphic.
 

"Great impact on large 1 million plus population. Wind, frigid temperature, snow, freezing rain."

Exactly. So why do we keep putting up with this crap?

Obama is looking for large infrastructure projects to revive the economy. Constructing a gigantic gate across the gorge that shuts off the wind flow when it threatens to cause me to put on tire chains down here in Salem sounds like an excellent way to spend a few tens of billions of dollars.

More or less. I haven't worked out the cost. Nor how to build the gate. Or what the environmental consequences (aside from warmer air for me and other western Oregonians) would be.

I leave those minor details to others.

All I know is that more snow is forecast for Christmas Eve and we've got dinner reservations on the 25th for the vegetarian buffet at Salem's terrific Marco Polo Global Restaurant.

So build the Gorge Gate! Like, tomorrow. Or soon thereafter.

Dikes to keep out the North Sea have worked for the Dutch. No reason why the Willamette Valley can't have an air dike to keep out air from eastern Oregon.

Build, baby, build!

Comments

[James]

You're an idiot. That's all I can say. I don't know you (don't want to, based on this one post); but I truly hope you've never pro-created.
The entire Portland metro area has basically shut down because they have no idea what to do in the snow. They're completely unprepared. That includes you, Salem. What you need to do is take your car to an empty parking lot, and practice driving in this. "This is so rare for this area"....bulls**t. It's gonna happen again, trust me. So best thing to do is prepare for it. Don't "close off the gorge". A, that's not even possible....and B, if it was, that is the stupidest and most unrealistic thing anyone could ever suggest. I SUGGEST YOU LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT. Idiot.

[Rain]

lol very funny but our ice seems to have come from elsewhere; so where else must we put up a gate? also it's the fault of the trees that I have to use a generator right now to type this. They snapped off and broke the lines on the road above us thereby throwing us all into darkness. Shall we also eliminate them? The power company thought they had done that to enough of them. Turns out not.

With a generator and woodstove, I am more inconvenienced than uncomfortable-- our generator won't run the oven (oh woe how can I cook) and is noisy. I am learning to not hear the noise because this generator is worth much much more than what we paid for it some years back but didn't have to use until Monday morning (conveniently gasoline costs are lower now too to run it)...

Sunday night we toughed it out with kerosene lamps, candles, woodstove and fireplace, foregoing the computer. We weren't cold but we were wondering what people used to do before electricity in the evenings. Beings it was the Solstice, the darkest day of the year, it was apropos.

[Harry Vanderpool]

We have had our program down for years, for power outages.
We live at 1000' south of Salem so we get WEATHER!
Wood heats our house so no inconvience there.
The generator runs 3 hours in the morning and four hours at night. That keeps the freezer froze and the fridge cool.
We have 120 gallons of gas and burn 4.5 gallons daily.
We also fill two large pans with snow and set in the fridge daily.
A four gallon bucket of water is filled and placed in each bathroom when the generator is running. This is used to flush the toilet so that we have running water the remainder of the time from the tap.
The power supply for the computer gives me one hour of run time between generator runs.
We have a 5" B&W television that will run for hours on a motorcycle battery.
I put the battery on the charger while the generator is running.
And food. We have food. We have been out of power for 3 days now.
Not gone to town once, and won't even if this goes for weeks.
So heres' my question:
How many people will go through this extended storm and power outage and WILL NOT MAKE ANY ADJUSTMENTS OR PREPARATIONS FOR THE NEXT TIME??!!!!!
My guess: 99.98% will not learn a damn thing.

[Brian]

James, I can't believe you're unable to see the brilliance of my idea. Einstein wasn't recognized as a genius at first either.

The gate would be a marvelous tourist attraction. It'd have to be hundreds of feet tall, of course -- and strong enough to hold up against 70 mph winds.

The Columbia river would flow on unobstructed. I'd leave a narrow opening at the bottom for ships to get through.

No reason to get obsessive about closing off all of the cold air; I'm fine with a few degrees of extra coldness down here In Salem, just so long as I'm not inconvenienced more than that.

I'm envisioning wind turbines being integrated into the giant gate. Heck, with the money generated by the wind generators, this project likely would pay for itself. Just like the invasion of Iraq. (Oops, maybe not such a good comparison.)

Yes, a five hundred or thousand foot high sheet of metal stretching across the Columbia Gorge would strike some people as unsightly. But they'd get used to it, especially when they realized how much warmer it was downstream.

And each side of it could have a painted mural. This would be a boost to the arts in Oregon, as well as the construction industry. The simplest thing to do would be to have a picture of the gorge painted on the wall that is blocking off the gorge.

That way tourists wouldn't even notice anything (especially if their vision wasn't so good) as they drove by.

As you can see, my brilliant ideas keep on getting even more brillianter. I accept your apology for calling me an idiot which, after you read this, I'm sure is in your mind.

[Robert Paul Howard]

Dear Brian,

Yes. But remember: it takes some time even for lesbians to get things done.

Robert Paul Howard

[Brian Hines]

Oh, yeah! My ideas are already coming to fruition. Sort of. The Oregonian has a story about how wind turbines may be part of the I-5 replacement bridge over the Columbia.

http://www.oregonlive.com/environment/index.ssf/2008/12/wind_turbines_may_grace_new_i5.html

Jeez. They stole my idea from today's Gorge Gate comment above. Quick work, idea-stealers. But it's still a good idea.

Bridge planners just need to keep in mind that the wind reaching the bridge turbines will be decreased considerably during the winter, when the Gorge Gate will be closed.