Can I love my MacBook too much?

I hope my wife understands. Why, of course, she will. She's a retired psychotherapist. Laurel knows what happens when a man falls head over heels in love -- all the crazy things he'll do, how his life revolves around her.

My new Macintosh laptop is a girl. That's obvious.

She's thin, sleek, responsive, and oh-so-sexy. Plus, she almost always does just what I want her to. No back talk, like the B.S. I had to put up with from a string of Windows PCs that I've had mercurial relationships with.

After a couple of weeks with my electronic sweetie I've got just one worry: that my infatuation is going over the top.

Some warning signs have popped up.

Yesterday I ran into a Tai Chi class acquaintance in the snacking room of Salem's foremost (and only) natural food store. We chatted about this and that, then somehow the conversation turned to Ms. MacBook.

I heard myself going on and on about how beautiful she was, how she'd changed my life so much for the better, how the first thing I do when I get up in the morning is turn her on and see what fresh pleasure she has to give me.

Then, when I had to take a breath and my friend was able to get a word in -- "I haven't seen the new MacBook yet" -- I excitedly exclaimed "Wait! It'll just take a second! I'll introduce her to you!"

Oh, yeah. She was in the car, waiting for me.

I grabbed my backpack and rushed back inside. For the next ten minutes I put her through her paces, letting my friend stroke her stylish touchpad and admire her glossy screen.

Eventually I realized that maybe, just maybe, I was telling her, a male acquaintance, and her mother (who'd popped up in time to see the end of my isn't-she-lovely? gabfest) more than they wanted to know about a frigging laptop.

Well, I couldn't help myself. Blame it on hormones, or whatever makes a man fall in lust with a single slab of polished aluminum packed with gorgeous electronics.

I felt a bit better about myself when I found out that I'm not alone. This clever web page documents, bluntly, the giddiness Mac owners feel toward their computers.

Ever notice how most Mac users are skinny? It's because of all the calories they burn because they can't shut the fuck up about how great their Macs are. What is it about Apple that makes its users unable to shut their mouths? Everywhere I go, there's another asshole with a Mac preaching about how much better Macs are than PCs.

OK. You nailed me.

But I won't be quiet. There's more love stories to tell. And I can use my lover to share them! Marvelous...

Comments

[Harry Vanderpool]

Umm,,,,Hmmmm......
Uh, Brian! Now, I hate to have to say this:
Brian, You need to take delivery of that new bike BAAAADD!!!!!!!
Now repeat after me:
"Computer, imaginary."
"Motorcycle, reality"
Repeat as nessisary.

"Computer, cyberspace"
"Motorcycle, REAL space"

Getting the picture, treasured lefty neighbor?
Call me if you need further touch points.....

[Brian]

Harry, I hate to break this to you, and it's kind of tough even for me to say this to myself...

But for now I've put my Suzuki Burgman on hold. I got a refund of my deposit.

With the economic downturn, I didn't feel like forking out $10,000 for a "toy" that I didn't really need.

And my wife wasn't thrilled with the idea of me getting a maxi-scooter (though she wasn't thrilled with my first motorcycle either), because of the danger issue.

Who knows what the future will hold? For the moment my MacBook is meeting some of the "new and fun" needs that the Burgman would have.

But for sure, a computer isn't a maxi-scooter or motorcycle. You'll get no argument from me about that. There's nothing like the real open road space you mentioned.

[Harry Vanderpool]

I was riding in a friend's helecopter recently and asked him how often he does certain tricky maneuvers.
He answered, "Never".
He continued, "I have done all of that stuff a million times when I was younger, and still can if need be, but at this point in time, I try to not place myself in the face of danger."
Made perfect sense to me.
Brian, I have 6 motorcycles and I rode my 1000 4 or 5 times this year.
And when I rode it, I rode somewhat conservativly.

!!! OOOPS !!!

:-0 !!! SORRY YO USE THE "C" WORD HERE!!! :-0

O.K. So what you Really need is a new tractor! (sorry Laurel!)

[Jack]

I'm am thinking of making the switch. But I'm scared of losing my self image.

Ok, THERE I said it. I'm not proud of this, but it's true, and basically that's what keeps us PC owners from jumping ship, thought we don't want to admit it. After all, Mac owners are just as concerned about their liberal artsy farsty self image as we saner people are.

I'm a macho, conservative, businessman kinda of guy. I don't LIKE yoga classes, Frappucino, or Nirvana. (I do like my ipod though......:)

On the other hand, I'm so pissed off at Microsoft right now that if an asteroid really does hit the earth soon, smashing into MS headquarters would be just fine with me. I'm thinking of buying my first gun, just so I can plug a few holes in my current laptop. "Up yours" Bill, and a reluctant "hello!" to you, Steve.

If I buy a Macbook, which looks very likely, I'm going to put a decal over the little Apple logo that shines out the back, and wear dark glasses when I use it in public. Next thing you know I might start reading Echardt Tolle and putting yucky sweet stuff in my coffee. - yikes.

[Brian]

Jack, I probably shouldn't mention this...

But this happy MacBook user just finished reading Tolle's "The Power of Now" (yeah, took me a while to get around to it). And my favorite coffee drink is a vanilla latte (nonfat, naturally).

Plus, I drive a Prius.

So you're justified in being scared about what you might turn into if you buy a Mac. Covering up the Apple logo should help screen the "artsy fartsy" mojo.

You also could wear a Ted Nugent t-shirt whenever you use it. And carry it around on your Harley.

[Lenna S.]

Oh, so true!

I am in love with my new MacBook too, you see—except that mine is a male and I even gave him a name: Daniel. (:

Yup, I think we're both hopeless. Hopelessly in love, that is.

[Colby Armstrong]

I found this site by googling "i love my mac". LOL to Harry Vanderpool for describing mac users like myself to a tee. I've read "The Power of Now" and "New Earth" and it changed my life almost as much as my mac did. I think yoga is a great spiritual and physical exercise. I'm drinking a Joe Muggs coffee right now with "a shot of caramel". I really don't know what to say. I never knew a slab of aluminum could change my life for the better (as a tear trickles).

[John Doe]

I Love my MacBook 2007 2gb ram... plus its the black version...