I'm putting this post in my blog's "humor" category because Harley Davidson motorcycle riders take their bikes pretty damn seriously, and I don't want to tick off any of the brothers or sisters.
Anyway, I used to have a motorcycle myself – a Yamaha Seca II – until my old lady (what I called my wife during the period I owned a bike, which helps to explain why I no longer have it) told me so many times that I was going to kill myself on it, I got afraid that I really would have a serious accident, become paralyzed, and have to spend the rest of my life listening to a tape player she'd put next to my ear that said, in an endless loop, "I kept saying that you were going to kill yourself and you almost did, you fucking idiot."
So I have a fondness for two-wheeled motorized transportation. I've even (shush…don't tell my wife!) been eyeing on the Internet a Suzuki Burgman 650 scooter set up as a trike. Pretty cool.
Now, a Japanese scooter isn't a Harley. You can tell, because a Suzuki Burgman 650 is (1) a lot quieter, (2) less expensive, (3) more reliable, (4) safer, and (5) more practical.
That said, there's nothing like a Harley. I say that without ever having ridden a Harley. I have, however, seen lots of Harley riders – and not all of them have been sipping lattes while their bikes are parked outside the downtown Salem Starbucks on a weekend.
Today, for example, there was an influx of Harley Davidsons in the ever-so-charming central Oregon town of Sisters. The Sisters Bead Stampede was this weekend; maybe that drew them.
I doubt it, though, given the look favored by most of the Harley riders. I didn't see a single delicate bead necklace – mainly lots of leather, studs, chains, and similar macho paraphernalia.
Which, I hasten to add, looked just fine on them.
My "hasten to add" comes in part from memories of going to college in the San Jose area in the late '60s and early '70s when the Gypsy Joker motorcycle gang ("club," if any Gypsy Jokers read this post) was highly visible. Since I drove a '57 VW bug with peace symbols plastered all over it, one of my goals – still extant – was to stay on good terms with tough-looking dudes on Harleys.
That said, there's something about the Harley Davidson culture that is, when you think about it, something to think about.
How's that for a bold criticism!
Actually I'm not critical of Harleys, though I do find them obnoxiously noisy at times. But, hey, each to his own. While I'm more attracted to a high-powered Japanese scooter, I can understand the appeal of the Harley mystique.
This guy, however, doesn't think much of it. His "Why a Harley Davidson Isn't a Real American Motorcycle" is a no holds barred critique of both the bike and those who ride them.
One Harley rider looks like another, pretty much, yet they all claim that they are 'individuals'. Seeing a group of Harleys go past is like watching a cut scene from the movie "The Stepford Wives". They're all identical, they look alike, and they all ride the same thing; junk.
Very few Harleys are truly fast or powerful. Most are just loud rattletraps, over priced dealer wannabes or pieced together hope it works tomorrow wonders. They are paper tigers, all show and no go. You can get a hundred pounds of chrome on one of those motorcycles straight from the factory. Matching leather everything as well, even down to the little official HD logo which is oh so important to this flock behavior mindset. Studded, braided, polished, painted, chromed, but ... it's all flash. It's all custom parts and paint, all jury rigged and low tech. In anything else but a Harley, the extremes that most Harley owners go to would be considered tacky and tasteless, and probably laughable.
… I think I've finally figured out just *WHY* Harley Davidson motorcycles are so popular... Harley Davidson isn't a motorcycle company, it is a cult religion. You don't ride a Harley Davidson so much as you worship it. You and every other little acolyte. A Harley Davidson is a rolling altar to mediocrity, you bend your knees and you pray to a pagan idol of chrome and leather for the pitiful life that you glean from it. That is the only way that I can see why so many people are so clueless when it comes to motorcycles. They can't stand on their own, they aren't tough enough to be individuals, so they have to reinforce their own self image with artificial constructs. Joseph Campbell would have a field day with the average Harley owner, I think that Harley Davidson is another of the 'masks of God' that Campbell once talked about so richly, or one of the supposed nine thousand names for God.
Harley Davidson. It's not a motorcycle company. It is a pagan cult religion for brain dead trend humping fashion lemmings.
Ouch. But remember, Harley owners, those aren't my words. And keep in mind: this is a "humor" post.
A couple of titles for you:
"Motorcyclist"
"Motorbike Driver"
Using myself as an example, I grew up on motorcycles. My stepfather raced flat-track and hillclimbs in WA, OR & Idaho.
I raced cross country and Hillclimbs beginning in the 7th grade.
By the time I was old enough to get my drivers lic, I was in the expert class.
Motorcycles have been my primary transportation for much of my life.
My GS-1000 is my 24th bike if you count up all of the dirt bikes.
I am a Motorcyclist.
Then there are the Motorbike Drivers.
I'm guessing over 90% of the folks that you see riding on the street fit this title.
They purchace their first motorcycle and "drive" it.
Zero skill level. Human projectiles.
Even though their insurance offers discounts if they take training, they aren't going to do it. Heck, they can ride a bicycle!!!!
First little bit of gravel in a corner or a patch of ice and its all over.
Heres one that Ive heard a number of times over the years from folks when I show up on a motorcycle:
"Yeah,,,my brother inlaw bought one of those things; broke his arm the first day. Sold it & never rode one again!"
Posted by: Harry Vanderpool | August 11, 2008 at 09:23 AM
"Now, a Japanese scooter isn't a Harley. You can tell, because a Suzuki Burgman 650 is (1) a lot quieter, (2) less expensive, (3) more reliable, (4) safer, and (5) more practical."
Why no concern about air pollution and global warming? Motorcycles and scooters may be worse than cars in this regard:
"Turns out the average motorcycle is 10 times more polluting per mile than a passenger car, light truck or SUV."
http://blog.wired.com/cars/2008/06/motorcycles-pol.html
Posted by: Amecameca | August 11, 2008 at 08:04 PM
AAAAHH-HA!!!!
First it was your brush clearing.
Now it is your motorcycling.
Someone please dial up Al Gore for me so I can announce the primarary cause of Global warming: Brian Hines.
Don't you just feel guilty?
GUILTY!!!!!!
Hey, take a look at this. I think this fits your lifestyle better than the Burgman:
http://www.suzukicycles.com/Products/DR650SEK9
Way more fun and you can tootle around on the logging roads and in the woods.
Handles much better also.
Posted by: Harry Vanderpool | August 11, 2008 at 10:24 PM
I like reading Brian's blog, but I do have to question folks like him who try to pass themselves off as progressive when they live way out in a big house in SoKu (south of Kuebler) and appear to have a thing for internal combustion engines which are so obviously screwing up the planet. Sorry to have to be a turd in the punchbowl, but folks like Brian should think a little harder about how their professed values align with their behavior.
Posted by: Amecameca | August 12, 2008 at 07:44 PM
Amecameca, what are you talking about? Let's see, my wife and I are environmentalists. We believe in protecting Oregon farm and forest land from over-development. We donate a lot of time and money to "green" causes.
We own two hybrid cars: a Toyota Prius and a Toyota Highlander. Each is super-clean. The Prius gets better mileage than any other car; the Highlander has the second best mileage (after the Ford Explorer) of any SUV.
So where's the evidence for our "thing for internal combustion engines which are so obviously screwing up the planet"?
The Suzuki Burgman 650 that I've been perusing has a four stroke engine with several features that are billed as reducing emissions:
http://www.suzukicycles.com/Products/AN650K8/PrintBrochure/Default.aspx
I don't see a scooter of that sort as being a big planet destroyer. Plus, I don't own one. Good try on indicting us as green hypocrites, but the charge doesn't stick.
Posted by: Brian | August 12, 2008 at 08:04 PM
Brian, you know that in the bible, just lusting after another woman is a big of a sin as the actual act.
So today, I'm looking around at all of the haze in the sky and at first thought it was field burning.
But now I know; its that guy over on Liberty Rd THINKING about a new bike.
Now just sit idley in your chair with your hands folded in your lap and you might make the grade.
WHA....What was that sound? You ate chili for lunch?
Face it, you are a hopeless gobal warmer.
Posted by: Harry Vanderpool | August 12, 2008 at 09:11 PM
Harry, you got me. I'm responsible for all of the earth's ills. Sorry for the sound. Just imagine how loud it was on my end.
Posted by: Brian | August 12, 2008 at 09:38 PM
Oooh. I think I hit a nerve. Why do you need 2 cars? Have you considered how much CO2 emissions result from the manufacture of a Prius? How many square feet is your house? Do you have central A/C and do you run it all summer? Do you have a lawn that you water all summer? How many car trips do you and your wife make in a typical day? Do you have a vegetable garden? Answer these questions and we will see if the charge sticks.
If you want to pursue a course of therapy to straighten out your thinking read THE LONG EMERGENCY by James Howard Kunstler or if you don't read books, listen to his podcast (KunstlerCast) which is available for free from the iTunes music store. Especially #7 which addresses Prius' specifically.
Posted by: Amecameca | August 13, 2008 at 08:21 PM
And there is the conclusion to this self deprecating, pointless superstition; you must feel guilty JUST FOR EXISTING.
>>>If you want to pursue a course of therapy to straighten out your thinking read THE LONG EMERGENCY by James Howard Kunstler or if you don't read books, listen to his podcast (KunstlerCast) which is available for free from the iTunes music store. Especially #7 which addresses Prius' specifically.<<<
Or, if you are lost with absolutly no direction, you could subscribe to the Watchtower magazine, and hang from every word.
Posted by: Harry Vanderpool | August 14, 2008 at 01:21 AM
Harry, excellent response to Amecameca. Obviously he/she is using energy, unless this Internet user has solar panels hooked up to a computer.
But even then, where did those solar panels come from?! How much energy did it take to make them?! Amecameca, why aren't you sitting motionless in a dark closet, not having any impact on our fragile environment?!
Some people are into fretting about life rather than living life. I'd rather live it.
Posted by: Brian | August 14, 2008 at 09:53 AM