Messages to Maui’ans from an Oregon vacationer

Ah, the World Wide Web is wonderful. It lets me communicate, potentially at least, with some people on Maui that I have messages for.

--To the couple in the room next door: It was so nice to get to know you early this morning – through the loud cell phone conversations on your deck. I hope your mother is able to join you on Maui. Paying for her lodging if she springs for the airline ticket sounds fair. And good luck with finding a babysitter through the nanny hotline. Hopefully she'll keep your child quieter than you've been able to.

--To everyone else staying in our section of the resort: Are we the only ones who can read the resort rules? Which mentions quiet time from 10:30 pm to 8:00 am. And no cell phone conversations outside rooms. I realize that it's tough to keep kids quiet in Hawaii (or anywhere), but letting them outside at 6:30 am seriously interferes with my Maui mellow, which is heavily dependent on much sleeping and napping.

--To Maui residents: If you keep allowing condos and high rises to be built, eventually you're going to have zero natural island and 100% artificial ugliness. Like almost everywhere, including Oregon, I'm sure your local elected officials love property taxes and over-building. They're not going to stop this Maui madness on their own. You've got to vote them out before it's too late. Really. I've been coming here for over twenty years, and you're losing the reasons both locals and vacationers like us love this island.

--To restaurant owners: Here's a tip for generating increased profits. Have at least one decent vegetarian entrée on your menu. Lots of people are trying to eat healthier now. Plus, there are many steadfast vegetarians. But you wouldn't know it from the meat and seafood fare (and nothing else) that we see on your dinner menu before we walk away and take our credit card elsewhere.

--To a couple of beach goers: Guy #1, cigarettes don't disappear when they're snuffed out in the sand. Filters don't disintegrate. Kids will find them when they play in what their parents thought was pristine beach sand, until little Johnny cries out with a butt in his mouth, "Mommy, look what I found!" Guy #2, you're too obvious. Drinking coke after coke, then walking into the ocean up to your waist for just a minute before getting back on your towel – that's a pee-giveway. Be more subtle. My wife got creeped out and had to walk way down the beach before getting in the water.

--To the turtle botherers: How would you like it if someone followed you home and waited outside until you left, and they could start stalking you again? Sea turtles were here first. Tourists came later. Know your place. Diving down and peering into a turtle's rock crevice refuge after it surfaces to breathe isn't cool. It's tourist-dorky. Watch them from a generous distance. If they want to come see you, they will. (Bet: they won't.)

--To the babes in bikinis: Thank you.

Comments

[Robert Paul Howard]

Dear Brian,

Perhaps you could have just stayed in the peace of your own mansion (and donated your vacation expenses to/for cancer research).

Robert Paul Howard

[Brian]

Robert, I wish I had a mansion (on Maui, ideally). But we just have a 35 year old house that is far from a mansion.

As regarding donating to cancer research, almost all of us could live more frugally than we do. There's always the choice to live in a one-room apartment, eat rice and beans, and give everything else away.

My wife and I donate a lot of time and money to charitable and community causes. A lot. So we don't feel guilty about indulging ourselves now and then.

[Eric]

Three things:

1) To Robert:
When people go on vacation they do so with the money they earned through their hard work (usually). By spending money on vacations they support the economy by helping others have jobs, not to mention tips for a variety of services. This helps all these other people pay for their expenses and then they will be able to go on vacations and help others as well.

2) A friend of mine went to Hawaii last year and while she was on the beach, a group of tourists was surrounding a sea turtle to get a closer (read, right up to it!) look. She finally yelled at the group "Hey! Leave it alone! It's trying to get away!!" Surprisingly, it worked! They just said things like "Oh, ok, I guess so" and the like. I'm proud of my friend.

3) I also would like to thank the babes in bikinis.

[Robert Paul Howard]

Dear Brian,

Sorry: I must have touched a nerve.

I haven't been able to afford a "vacation" (from my 100+ year old house) for quite a long time.

"Some movies are better than others, for sure."

Robert Paul Howard

[Roger]

Brian,

Any chance you could fly over to the Big Island and check out the Kilauea volcano?
Is it still erupting as of today?

haha..........just kidding..

A number of years ago, while dormate, I had an opportunity to walk up to the edge of the crater. Wow....whata experience...