After watching the first episode of Survivor China tonight, I have my favorite contestant: Ashley.
Contrary to what my wife would have you believe, my admiration for Ashley has nothing to do with the size of her breasts. Well, maybe just a little. OK, maybe a lot.
Still, I need to defend my bosom friend (oops, bad choice of words) from vicious rumors that were being spread in our home this evening by – not big surprise, since our dog doesn't watch much TV – my wife again.
Almost every time Ashley appeared on camera with the "professional wrestler" identifier next to her name, Laurel would say, "Yeah, right. I bet she wrestles in mud when she's not dancing around a pole."
Laurel also questioned the authenticity of her breasts, which I studied with considerable non-clinical attention along with the CBS cameramen – since several shots focused first on Ashley's chest, then panned up to her face, the second most interesting part of her body.
I'm inclined to concede to my wife that she could be right about her doubts concerning this side (or rather, front) of Ashley. However, I just pointed out to Laurel that a quick Google Images search revealed convincing proof of Ashley's wrestling prowess.
Look at that hold. I'm not sure what you'd call it, but it certainly looks like an authentic wrestling technique. As does her grimace. And the short skirt.
Confirming Ashley's athletic credentials, the Survivor web site says that:
A former gymnast, she competed in Miss Hawaiian Tropic pageants and was crowned Miss Hawaiian Tropic USA in 2002 and Miss Hawaiian Tropic Canada in 2005. She currently works as a model and a professional wrestler with the WWE. She came to the WWE as a contestant in the 2005 RAW Diva Search. After beating out seven other finalists, she received a one-year contract with the World Wrestling Entertainment.
Hah! Former gymnast! Take that, Laurel.
My girl Ashley clearly is as real a professional wrestler as they come, for whatever that's worth. I confirmed that she was indeed winner of the 2005 RAW Diva Search, beating out such stiff competition as Alexis ("a veteran of music videos"), Cameron ("a former Miller Lite girl"), and Elisabeth ("a former Baywatch Babe Search winner").
So I hope this puts to rest any carping about Ashley's professional wrestler status. If not, the next episode should convince any remaining doubters, as I caught a glimpse in the preview of Ashley throwing down another girl.
OK, it was in some mud. But it rains a lot in China.