Ah, I shouldn’t have worried that the Portland Trailblazers would get all boringly straight and narrow now that Nate McMillan is the coach.
Star player Zach Randolph hasn’t been charged following an investigation into his escapade with two women who he had paid $500 to simulate a sex act at the Hotel Vintage Plaza on August 11.
But the District Attorney’s report about what went on is titillating reading. Even with all the blacked out names. Fame, youth, and an $84 million contract sure can bring a dude a lot of fun.
Though one of the women said she spent 2 ½ hours in the bathroom, physically sick from intoxication. That doesn’t sound like fun. Nor does having your sex life spread all over the newspapers and Internet (hasn’t bothered Paris Hilton much, however).
The Oregonian reports that doughnuts were a big part of the Blazers’ efforts to mitigate the embarrassment of one more in a lengthy string of player missteps over the years.
Early in the investigation, the Blazers delivered 15 dozen doughnuts to Portland police at the bureau's precincts. The team's mascot dropped off a special basketball-shaped doughnut for Chief Rosie Sizer. The delivery came shortly after an Oregonian column about how Blazers officials once held a meeting, instructing their players not to cooperate with police.
Police spokesman Sgt. Brian Schmautz later telephoned the Blazers public relations staff to say that the doughnut deliveries were not appropriate.
You’d think that by this time, the Blazers would have had a lot of experience dealing with public relations disasters. But no, their big creative idea is to give doughnuts to the police.
More than a little clichéd, guys.