Humor is a great way of revealing the idiocy of bigotry. The next time somebody says to you, “If gays are able to marry, it will destroy the institution of marriage,” respond with “How true. That’s just the point a woman made in ‘How my Marriage was Destroyed by the Homosexual Agenda.’ You should read this revealing essay.”
It’s a great piece of satire. Here’s a sample:
Constance turned on the radio in the kitchen to the Christian AM station we always listen to, and that's when our family's fate was finally sealed. The Lord's news update was saying that gay people in San Francisco were being allowed to get married right then and there!
Constance turned around suddenly, with a strange look on her face that I had never seen before. All of a sudden, she started running towards the front door, ripping off her clothes. The last I saw of her, she was skipping down the street, wearing nothing but a flower in her hair, screaming, "I'm sexually promiscuous now! Does anyone want to have some casual sex so that I can get a sexually transmitted disease and then have an abortion?
The Oregon Senate is about to vote on a civil unions bill. A Salem Statesman-Journal article reveals that facts never stand in the way of right-wing attitudes towards homosexuality. At a hearing on the bill Sen. Charles Starr, R-Hillsboro, said:
(1) “Civil unions aren’t good for the people who would be in them.” Um, why don’t you ask the people who would form civil unions whether they think civil unions are good for them?
(2) “The record shows homosexual activity is not normal.” The record? What record? Do you mean this 768 page book, “Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity,” that (quoting from a Publishers Weekly review) shows that “450 species engage in both sustained and occasional ‘gay,’ ‘lesbian’ and transgendered pairing, parenting and play”?
(3) “Neither the mouth nor the anus were intended for sexual intercourse.” Well, a lot of people are, let’s say, missing the point. From the Kinsey Institute FAQ on Sex Practices: “27% of men and 19% of women have had oral sex in the past year…and 10% of men and 9% of women have had anal sex in the past year.”[Note: this oral sex figure seems low to me. Are we that much different from Czechs, who report a 70% frequency?”]
The bonobo, an African ape closely related genetically to humans, is a notoriously diverse in its sexual practices. According to the National Geographic, “Studies suggest 75 percent of bonobo sex is nonreproductive and that nearly all bonobos are bisexual.” No one is saying that humans should act like animals, but here’s a fact for Sen. Starr and his fellow homophobes: we are animals.
The National Geographic article goes on to say, “So how far can we go in using animals to help us understand human homosexuality? Robin Dunbar is a professor of evolutionary psychology at the University of Liverpool, England. ‘The bottom line is that anything that happens in other primates, and particularly other apes, is likely to have strong evolutionary continuity with what happens in humans,’ he said.”
Homosexuality is normal. That’s a fact. Civil unions, and ideally marriages, for homosexuals should be part of normal human culture. Facts can be denied by those with fundamentalist blinders on. But they’re still facts.