Date of report: 4-26-05.
Location: South Salem
Alleged violation: excessive digging
Suspect: Serena, a Shepherd/Lab mix, a.k.a. “Wonder Dog”
Dispatcher notes: Received call at 4:15 pm from man identifying himself as suspect’s owner. Said his dog needed to be scared straight. Incoherent babbling about “rooting!, rooting!” made it difficult to determine details of situation. Assigned case level 1 priority; determined address and forwarded to Bad Dog officer in area.
Officer notes: 4:32 p.m., arrived at suspect’s home. Met in driveway by excited owner who kept saying, “She’s over there! Hurry, before she licks off the evidence!” Followed owner around side of house.
Suspect encountered lying down next to hose. Made no attempt to escape. Appeared unnaturally ecstatic. Asked suspect if she was high. Responded, “Just high on life, officer.”
Owner yelled, “Look at her paws! She’s high on digging for field mice!” Told owner to back off, that I’d ask the questions here. Paws did appear dirty. Asked suspect to explain. Replied, “I just had my paws done. Don’t you love the dusky brown highlighting!”
Took sample of substance covering front paws. Visual and tactile inspection strongly suggests dirt. Laboratory results needed to confirm.
Hair loss and probable dirt streaks observed on muzzle. Owner claimed suspect is chronic rooter. Suspect retorted that owner is chronic liar. Growling ensued. Told owner I’d have to book him if he didn’t quiet down. Suspect said, “Just make sure that he feeds me before you take him in.”
Told suspect that she’d be the one in dog jail if she doesn’t change her behavior. Asked her how she’d like to be somebody’s bitch. Said she already was one, so no big deal.
Wrote suspect a citation for rooting and dirty paws. After wagging tail in sarcastic manner, added additional charge of Dog Police insubordination. Told owner to call again if problem recurs. Suspect’s unrepentant attitude not encouraging. Will keep on watch list.
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