Need to find my Inner Canada

The last thing Laurel said last night before she went to sleep was, “We’ve got to move to Canada.” And the first thing she said upon waking up this morning was, “I’m going to stay in bed all day with the sheets pulled up over my head.”

Diagnosis: severe post-election-stress syndrome. No doubt lots of other Kerry supporters are feeling the same way today. I’m in a bit better shape than Laurel, but I’m scheduled for my annual physical exam this afternoon and had to be honest when I filled out the “Review of Systems” section on the Patient Health History Form that I got in the mail and am supposed to bring with me.

In the mental health area I was asked to circle any significant problems I’ve experienced during the last year. I marked “angry” and “depressed,” adding “only on evening of November 2 and today, for some reason.”

So, how do we deal with the pain of finding out that a majority of voters in this not so grand country of ours are either (1) idiots, (2) uninformed, or (3) uninformed idiots (probably the largest bloc). There simply is no other reason for how Bush could be re-elected.

Moving to Canada, though, isn’t really an option for us. It’s north of the United States, which means colder and less sunlight, by and large. Not good. Mexico is south, but I don’t like beans. Not a good refuge either.

I think the only way out of Four More Years is for Laurel and me to find our Inner Canada. This is going to entail pulling some psychic sheets over our minds, because otherwise we’re going to be uncomfortably in touch with Outer America. This land isn’t going to be a pretty sight during the second Bush term.

I forced myself to turn on CNN briefly this morning. A Republican talking head was saying, “Obviously President Bush can consider that he has a mandate from the American people.” I turned off the television as quickly as I could. That sort of bullshit makes me nauseous in this post-November 2 world.

Mandate? Change 100,000 votes in Ohio and Kerry is president. The outcome of this election wasn’t a mandate, though Bush is going to act as if it was. Heck, he thought he had a mandate in 2000, and he lost the popular vote.

It’s time to emigrate. This country still is a great place to live, so long as you eliminate the idiotic, uninformed aspects of it. We can’t change the people who voted for Bush, or for the equally outrageous Measure 37 here in Oregon. They still are going to inhabit the physical landscape of the nation where Laurel and I are going to continue to live.

But I’m going to do my best to not let them into my Inner Canada. Psychic border guards will have strict orders: No Admission to disturbing right-wing influences. They can do what they want on their own turf. They can screw up the Outer America to their misguided heart’s delight. I just don’t want them messing up the green peaceful egalitarian nation that I’m founding within myself.

Chuang Tzu will be my chief of staff. He advised me today:

Death, birth, existence and trouble, auspicious and inauspicious signs, wealth, poverty, value and worthlessness, glory and blame, hunger and thirst, cold and hot—all these are the way the world goes and the result of destiny.

Day and night follow each other, but there is no way of knowing where they come from. Don’t allow this to disrupt your innate balance, don’t allow this to perturb your mind.

If you can balance and enjoy them, have mastery over them and revel in this, if you can do this day in and day out without a break and bring all things together, then this brings forth a heart prepared for changes and this is perfect character.

Comments

[Jeffrey]

The mandate is the over 3 million additional votes for Bush...

[Worldwide Pablo]

Three percentage points does not a mandate make, Jeffrey.

[Brian]

Jeffrey, does the following look like a clear preference for "B" rather than "K"? Is this a "B" mandate? Or is it an almost exactly equal 51-48 split, just like the election?

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[Bart Smith]

I saw the same talking head on CNN talking about "the mandate". I now keep a little bucket my chair in case I have to puke.

I am waiting for the Chinese to discover a terrorist group in the USA that is plotting against them, and they are forced to make a preemptive strike.

[DrSirius]

We in Cape Town, South Africa have been watching the election with great interest. HeeHee...I'd move to Canada.

Actually here is quite nice. Lots of Sun, Beauty everything. come check it out. R.S.

[Michael]

You seem to be talking out of your ass again.

[Steve Bailey]

Hi Brian, RS Greetings,
Stay in the U.S. as Bush and his kind will only be around for 4 more years. But please do us a favour and visit Victoria B.C. We would love to meet you at satsang at U-Vic on any Sunday morning.