If you aren't getting enough ads for penis enlargement and home business opportunities in your email inbox, Mark Morford has put together a marvelous compendium in his SFGate.com column. At least, I assume these are genuine excerpts from email ads. I've seen some of them, but Mark must get a lot more spam than I do. I also like his earlier piece, "Are Hummer Owners Idiots? More delightful proof positive that most SUVs are, in fact, morally repugnant. Go, America!" Apparently there is solid research to show that large SUV owners are more ego-driven and insecure than drivers of other cars. I say "large SUV owners" because Laurel drives a Honda CR-V, which is a decidedly small SUV. Therefore, we won't include her in Morford's scathing indictment. As a Volvo wagon driver, I can stand tall, morally speaking, with my fellow owners, and their "don't hug your kids with nuclear arms" bumper stickers.