This is a great scene in Netflix's The Four Seasons about emotions and reality

Sometimes I get more meaning and wisdom from a short television scene than from a long book. That was the case last night when my wife and I finished watching The Four Seasons on Netflix, a streaming series (not to be confused with the 1981 romantic comedy with the same name).

I can't avoid giving away an important happening in the final episode, so consider this a spoiler alert.

It really isn't necessary to understand what The Four Seasons is all about to appreciate the dialogue in a scene that I thought was really well written and thought-provoking. But here's the trailer if you want to spend two minutes getting up to speed on the series.

The scene features one of the three couples in The Four Seasons. Danny (on the left below) is married to Claude (on the right). Danny is down to earth while Claude is much more sensitive and effusive. 

Danny and Claude are each trying to cope in their own way with the sudden unexpected death of their friend Nick in a traffic accident. Claude had a dream that Nick has become a butterfly. He spoke about this at Nick's funeral service after Nick's ex-wife, Anne, requested that he speak. Danny thought that the whole butterfly thing was ridiculous.

Here's a transcript of a scene that led me to tell my wife, "Wow, that was really well done."

Claude: Don't be mad at me. Anne asked me to speak. I... Just because you don't believe that Nick's a butterfly, that --

Danny: No, I don't. And I kept telling you that, but you kept saying it anyway. Claude, you never give me space to feel what I'm feeling.

Claude: Of course I want you to feel. That's all I ever want.

Danny: No, no, no, no. You want me to feel good. And happy. And when I don't, you say some stupid bullshit about our friend being a bug.

Claude: It's not bullshit. It's beautiful.

Danny: What if I had died? Would you go around telling everybody I was a fucking bird? I feel like you're off in Nonsense World, and I'm facing all of this completely alone! A horrible thing happened to our friend, and it was random and meaningless, so stop trying to make meaning out of it. I don't want to hear "no, it's okay, he's not really gone," because he is. He's not a butterfly. He's dead. And it's not beautiful or part of a greater plan. It's just sad! So just let me feel sad.

Claude: Maybe he's not a butterfly.

Danny: No. Maybe he is. Let's just walk. 

Here's what made me like this scene so much.

First, I related to Danny's desire to face the reality of Nick's tragic death (he's played by Steve Carell) without the crutch of wishful thinking that he isn't really dead, but has taken on another form -- a butterfly. 

Second, Danny is justified in wanting Claude to just let him feel sad. While Claude enjoys looking on the bright side, even when the death of a friend has occurred, Danny is fine with feeling the dark side of sorrow.

Third, because Danny and Claude love each other, this scene ends in a pleasing fashion. After hearing how strongly Danny feels about facing Nick's death head-on, Claude admits that maybe Nick isn't a butterfly. To which Danny says, no, maybe he is.

Danny and Claude end up giving each other some room to engage in their own style of grieving. They can't embrace their spouse's way of dealing with Nick's death, but they recognize that each of them cares deeply about Nick. 

Such is love. One person may not be able to understand why their lover feels a certain way, yet they can express their differences while remaining united in their commitment to each other.

Comments

[Appreciative Reader]

"Sometimes I get more meaning and wisdom from a short television scene than from a long book"

Haha, ditto.

I'm a bit embarrassed to say I've derived much meaning and wisdom off of not just Tolkien's ouvre, but also ... yeah, GoT. I know, I know.

On the other hand, not really? I mean, no call for embarrassment, really? After all, unlike those that solemnly quote stuff from the Bible, and do that literally not ironically, the wisdom, such as it is, that I sometimes draw from popular sources, is not directly what those sources "teach", but instead from my reactions to and thoughts on what I've read or watched. So that, I guess, literature is like life, that we experience and observe, and draw our own lessons and morals and general reflections from it. It's all good, absolutely. No matter how "pop" the pop reference. And regardless of the intent of the author of it, even, sometimes.

[Donald]

Wisdom is not the goal . Gurinder had it all but he wanted to share it with another man!