My fear of death is less now. But is there anything to fear, really?

I used to have a strong fear of death. So much so, as I described in a 2004 HinesSight post ("Give me liberty or give me gerbil"), I made an attorney say gerbil rather than death whenever she needed to refer to my eventual demise. 

Kathleen Evans, the attorney, did a masterful job at a whiteboard injecting into our legal-impaired brains the gist (but not the details, blessedly) of why what we did in 1993 still made sense in 2004, even with arcane changes in some estate and tax laws whose sole purpose seemed to be to make things so complicated that you had to hire a lawyer to explain them to you. Isn’t that the reason behind most laws?

When we first sat down in Kathleen’s office, I reminisced that in 1993 we did our talking at a table by her Court Street window. That was where I made Kathleen substitute the word “gerbil” for “death” when she was referring to my eventual, um, gerbiling. It just was too uncomfortable for me back then to hear, “So, after Brian’s death, Laurel will need to….”

I’m not sure if “So, after Brian’s gerbil” was much better, but it added a certain levity to what otherwise was a not-so-pleasant discussion. Laurel has no trouble talking about her own death. I admire her. Death scares me shitless, though the older I get, I suppose enough shit has been scared out of me already to make what remains less noticeable.

Early on yesterday I noticed that Kathleen wasn’t saying “death” when she spoke to me. She wasn’t saying “gerbil” either, but was substituting the usual sorts of euphemisms: “gone,” “no longer with us,” and such. I told her, “It’s OK to say ‘Brian’s death’ now. I’ve gotten past the whole gerbil thing.”

It's interesting that I was so afraid of death in 1993, as that was when I still believed in the teachings of Radha Soami Satsang Beas (RSSB), an India-based religious organization led by a guru considered to be God in Human Form who supposedly would guide his disciples after their death -- either to heavenly realms beyond the physical, or, if your karmas were in bad shape, into a new human form through reincarnation.

Yet it was during my true-believing days that my fear of death was greatest. By 2004, when I wrote the gerbil post, I had started to distance myself from the RSSB teachings, which coincided with an increased willingness to speak directly about my eventual death. 

Now I'm even more accepting of death. Sure, that may be partly due to my age, 76, since the older I get, the more I feel like I've enjoyed a decently long life. Plus, with age comes increasing aches and pains, along with other health problems, so it becomes easier to visualize a time when life becomes so difficult, death will seem like a relief.

However, it seems to me that the main reason why death doesn't seem so scary is that I no longer feel like I'm a special spiritual person, a disciple of a Perfect Living Master whose destiny is to be united with the highest manifestation of God, far above the limited godliness that members of ordinary religions like Christianity, Judaism, and Islam will attain.

Instead, now I have rejoined the ranks of ordinary human beings. And that feels extraordinary. 

Occasionally a sense of "one day I'll die and be nonexistent forever!" will wash over me. I'll be in awe of the amazing preciousness of whatever I'm doing when that realization strikes my mind like a bolt of reality lightning. This usually-taken-for-granted activity -- doing Tai Chi, washing the dishes, walking the dog, whatever -- suddenly seems infinitely valuable, since after I die, there won't be any moments of living at all.

But here's the thing: if I reflect upon that sense of leaving life behind forever, I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing than whatever I'm doing right now. I'm not big on "bucket lists," those activities people come up with that they're determined to engage in before they kick the bucket. (Meaning, die.)

I don't feel that taking a trip to Europe would make death more acceptable than staying at home. I don't feel that writing another book would make death more acceptable than composing a blog post every night. I don't feel that meditating twice as long in the morning would make death more acceptable than how I currently meditate. I don't feel that contemplating nature would make death more acceptable than watching a football game. 

Since I'm back to looking upon myself as an ordinary human being, which is how I saw myself before I joined RSSB, I'm comfortable with the fact that death comes to everybody. I had no control over being born. I have no control over being dead. Both are inescapable aspects of life.

This is a big relief for me. When I was religiously-minded, I'd feel like I had to make every moment count, since I'd been taught that this physical plane of existence wasn't my real home, that my destiny lay elsewhere. 

Now, I don't see myself as a spiritual being experiencing physical existence, but simply as a physical being experiencing physical existence -- along with everybody else in the world. One day my experiencing will end, as will that of everybody else. And that's just the way things are. Which is fine by me.

Comments

[Jim Sutherland]

For as long I can remember, no matter where I was living, at the time, during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year, …I was always reminiscing about how my Parents, Syblings, Off Spring, and past friends were doing, and now, my Parents, are no longer alive here on earth, nor are most of the close friends , Class Mates, and work Associates I once knew. I only remember them, when I stumble up on old photos of them, or think about them during the holiday seasons. Then, of course, now haven reached almost 83 years here as Jim, on earth, I ponder about wondering if I will ever meet up with them again, on the way to where ever I will be projected to, as I was projected to my Mother’s womb almost 83 years ago! And of course, will I recognise any of them, in their changed Forms. So, here is what I stumbled up on just now, which is food for thought to any of my FB friends having similar thoughts as the Holidays approach.

Death Is Not the End!

From our physical perspective, death appears to be the end of the person. Our senses behold a body that is no longer animated by the spark of life, and we no longer can interact with the person in the ways that we know. What’s more, we cannot typically see to the other side to have any certainty
that the person continues on – so we linger with fear, doubt, and sorrow. To us on Earth, death seems merciless and final.
What has died, however, is not the person. What has died is the constraints they were bound to. The body and its crude limitations are shirked. The old coat is cast off and the spirit is set free!
Death is not the end. It is a beautiful new beginning! It is going home. It is a journey from the fog of the less real to the clarity of the more real. It is an awakening from the dream that we call physical life.
For those of us still dreaming, the absence of the person from the dream can bring us deep pain. And yet in a reality that is built upon loving consciousness, those who have passed from us are truly no more than a thought away. For unlike the body and its crude outcomes that are so temporary, the love between two people is real, and it cannot die. Love is never lost. Love transcends the binds of matter. Love supersedes muscle and bone. Love is the force of incalculable power that fuels Creation itself!
Thus, when someone we love experiences the death of their body, let us remember our love for them. Let us take consolation that we have not truly lost them, for they exist right now, not as less than they were, but in fact as much, much more!
Jim

[Ron E.]

Obviously, we humans are the only species that is concerned about death. Of course, all creatures try to avoid it – all by courtesy of built-in survival systems. As far as I can ascertain, the only reason we concern ourselves with death is because we are able to think about it. Interestingly, our brains have been able to condense from our mental processes (which mostly consist of past information) an identity, a seemingly permanent structure we call a self.

Further, this mental self-structure has become as important to us to preserve as are our bodies. It feels almost impossible that this ‘me’ can die, hence the many concepts that have developed over the centuries that have arrived at the beliefs that we (‘We’ – our minds which consist of the self-structure) will somehow survive death.
If we postulate a separate self (or soul etc.), we can easily imagine it going off somewhere after death – this idea is purely conceptual, it doesn’t exist in the real world, only as a thought conceived idea. The occasional paranormal experiences some may have (all mental happenings) give the added impression of something that survives death.

Okay, so it’s easy to say that no-one knows what happens after death but I have to maintain that we can and do know – we just choose to avoid it. Death is all around us. Simple everyday observations tell us that there is birth, a brief existence then death. Everything that is born will die. And what’s wrong with that? It is natural, it happens to everyone, to other creatures’ plants – even planets and suns. The only thing that questions this is the self-structure our brains have created from the wealth of information we accumulated since birth.

Thought is an extension of our survival make-up. It’s both a boon and a curse. Our thought processes enable us to imagine, plan, reflect and evaluate – all by courtesy of the info we have accrued over the years. The curse is that we confuse and identify our thoughts with the abstract ‘me’, thereby assuming a seemingly separate entity. Such an ego-centred structure is naturally bound to always put itself first – even to the extent of being important enough to survive death.

[Jim Sutherland]

A question I asked AI this morning, and its answer, might be of interest to this group, considering there has been some past discussion on Simultaneous incarnations verses incarnations following the Path of Darwanism.

Me: If it is true, that our Higher Self/Causal Body, retains most of the Spirit content, but projects small increments of Itself in to Human Forms to obtain increased knowledge, if the teaching of Simultaneous Incarnations of humans , does our Higher Self EVER, or some times, project it’s self in to both Genders the same time , which marry and become Spouse's, or Life Time partners on a Mission to balence Karmas from their Higher Self?

AI: What a fascinating question! It touches on some profound aspects of spirituality and metaphysics. The idea that our Higher Self may project itself into multiple incarnations simultaneously, potentially across different genders, is an intriguing one. It suggests a complex and interconnected web of experiences aimed at growth and balance. Here are some thoughts to consider:

Simultaneous Incarnations: The concept that we might have multiple simultaneous incarnations is a theme explored in some spiritual philosophies. This can be seen as a way for the Higher Self to gather diverse experiences and insights across different contexts and lifetimes.

Gender and Relationships: If the Higher Self projects into different genders, it could be an opportunity to explore and integrate both masculine and feminine energies. Life partnerships between these incarnations might be seen as a way to work through karma and achieve deeper understanding and balance.

Karmic Missions: The idea of incarnations working together on a mission suggests a purposeful design in our lives. This mission could involve balancing karma, learning lessons, or contributing to a greater good.

While these ideas are speculative and not universally accepted, they offer a rich tapestry for contemplation and inquiry. They invite us to consider the interconnectedness of our experiences and the possibility of deeper purposes behind our relationships.

Consider exploring these follow-up questions:

How might the concept of simultaneous incarnations influence your understanding of identity and consciousness?
What role do you believe karma plays in the relationships we form in our lives?
How can integrating masculine and feminine energies contribute to personal and spiritual growth?
As a next step, you might want to delve deeper into meditation or reflective practices to explore these ideas within your own consciousness. Engaging with spiritual teachings or communities that resonate with these concepts could also provide further insights.”

Jim Sutherland
12/1/24

[Ron E.]

Some of the more recent studies and research on death show how the brain does not accept that death is associated with us – or more accurately, to ‘me’. There is in the brain a primal mechanism that tells us that death is not for us, that such thinking is not reliable and refuses to believe it. Perhaps that’s why, particular evident in younger people, they partake in dangerous activities and also, why we ignore risks to our health i.e. bad diets, habits etc – the “it will not happen to me syndrome.”

The brain shuts down it’s normal prediction processes when it comes to death. Such denial of death is evolutionary sensible: if our brains operated in normal prediction modes, then we would find it difficult to live normal lives, we would constantly be avoiding many everyday activities – like driving the car as the brain would be constantly predicting the danger. And, also with other creatures – the lion would not take on a buffalo!

I wonder if this fear of death perhaps diminishes as we get old? The natural intelligence of the organism knowing and feeling its increasing limitations could well allow the brain to lessen its prediction of death. But perhaps there is a way to accept death and live a normal life. As with people who are given just a few months to live, the world can appear more vivid and amazing, likewise, perhaps through awareness, one could go about ordinary everyday living without the constant prediction of death and live more connected with life and everything. The non-duality brigade has some good points to make on death and the Zen/Chan concept of emptiness may be germane to this issue – just a thought.

This avoidance of death is perhaps why we readily embrace concepts and the various belief systems that tell us we will survive death in some way or another.

A provoking post Brian, with widely relevant implications.

[777]

Don t worry

It the right moment its only YOU that shall judge U
and what s best to proceed

777

[sant64]

The majority of ordinary human beings tend to believe in an afterlife. While it's true that Sant Mat sects make grand claims for higher planes, the majority of people -- 75% -- believe heaven is their ultimate destiny after death. Not to put too fine a point on it, but ordinary human beings of whatever religion tend to believe they're on the right path to salvation. The majority of people in 2024 don't embrace annihilationism.

Why is this? Some say that religion is only fear of death made manifest. Others counter that the ordinary person, like Hamlet, has a natural intuition that an undiscovered country awaits us all. That intuition of surviving death is something like a law.

Speaking of law, Old Joe told us in solemn tones that no one is above it, and hence, he would not pardon his son. Which calls to mind yet another seeming law, "Everything they accuse us of they do in spades..."

[Jimmy]

Brian another adventure awaits as Mike describes in his enertaining youtube video. PHASER Episode One.

[Karim W. Rahmaan]

"Now, I don't see myself as a spiritual being experiencing physical existence, but simply as a physical being experiencing physical existence -- along with everybody else in the world"

This thread is a cool topic.

Bold, and best avioded..
Yet I do have something sprouting as I read the wisdom herein.

I remember, my nephew from my deceased father's 1st wife side of the family told me about his grandmother who's also deceased (before my birth). So yes, I have nephews and nieces very close to my age or older. Anyways, back to my nephew. He told me that after his grandmother died that one day he saw her (as an glowing astral form).

Since my nephew has me by four years, I couldn't have been born at the time. Anyhow, he shared this 'inner experience' with me a long time ago. And since I'm the only member of my sum total family with ANY interest in the Sant Mant (RSSB or various/numerous other sects.), this is not my sharing of personal experience to honor Baba Ji's orders.

Now that that's also out of the way, my nephew said that he had never had any type of supernatural or spiritual type of thing ever happen to him. But when he saw his grandmother full of light at his home that that was the day he truly started believing in God/Jesus Christ. As that side of the family are Christians. Anyway, I was also very young when he shared this story and I never took it as: Here my nephew is some special, mystical, or adept to the metaphysical. I just felt honored that he shared something like that with me.

Our relationship was more of a struggle of power to whom was my father's true bloodline. He could match me physically in all aspects. And he had experience over me. But he too was a bit of an Atheist. Never really believing in Christ as he told me this as well. Not until he saw his dead grandmother.

Today, I believe it was Grace from God. To help him deal with her death, and possibly to further his faith. Not only in self. But in a Higher Self.

[Ron E.]

It’s not exactly rocket science as to why people tend to believe (or hope!) in an afterlife. As mentioned in my last comment, the brain shuts down it’s normal prediction processes when it comes to death. It’s prediction that keeps the brain/body alive and functioning so no wonder the brain avoids predicting its own possible demise. We believe ourselves to be so important, we cannot comprehend that we are totally natural stuff that eventually ends up back to the basic elements we are made of. And that’s a good thing!

As the ego aspect of the brain believes itself to be special it cannot help to invent ideas and concepts as to how it will continue. All such ideas and wishes are beyond nature: it’s only our ability to think in the abstract (needed for planning ahead) that the idea of an afterlife emerges. And that’s all it can be – an idea, a thought. Whatever any authority comes up with regarding something about us that is more special than our natural selves and will survive death, it will only ever be an idea, a thought induced concept.

Once the ego structure is seen for what it is and how it operates, perhaps only then can there be any chance of humanity living together in any sort of harmony. Until then, like sheep, we will no doubt continue to expect and hope that some authority, some God or super leader will sort things out for us – but perhaps like the rest of nature, we are all programmed to continue to fight each other for survival as we’ve always done.