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June 25, 2024

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"During my religiously-minded days I felt there was something wrong with me when I was in the grip of a negative emotion such as anger, which the teaching I embraced back then viewed as a bad thing that needed replacing with positive emotions like love, peace of mind, forgiveness, and such."

I get what you're saying in this essay, and I agree that emotional honesty is a wholesome thing. But I can't agree there's anything of value in actual anger. I don't believe this because of religious fundamentalism, but through my own life experience. I can't think of one instance in my not quite as long as yours but pretty close life where my acting with anger resulted in a positive outcome to myself or others. Or mulling on angry thoughts led to anything good. I've found instead that anger in all its guises is an absolute poison to my or others' wellbeing.

A couple of weeks ago I was being "genuine" when dealing with a fellow library patron who'd tied her dog up at said library's entrance. After the dog lunged at me, I expressed my genuine feelings. It felt wonderful for a second, but as with all similar episodes, my moment of triumph was short-lived. I spent the rest of the day ruing my loss of self-control.

The Buddha too called anger a poison. So again, while I get what you're saying here (it brings to mind a stay in Satchidananda ashram, where everyone spoke in a sing-songy chipper false positivity that I found as fake as Disneyland), I think religions have much to teach us about the real perils of giving into our emotions.

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