Lose yourself to find yourself

For a long time, over three decades, I assumed that a central goal of my life was to know myself. Another way of saying this was self-realization. The idea was that somewhere hidden away in my psyche was a True Me who was different from the current Untrue Me.

So I diligently meditated every morning. Sometimes as long as two and a half hours, sometimes for a shorter period, but never less than an hour. 

I don't regret all that meditating, which totaled well over 20,000 hours. Plus, I've continued to meditate every day since the end of my religious phase some 18 years ago.

Now, though, I'm much more inclined to believe that (1) I don't have an enduring self, so (2) being mindful of what I'm doing in the world, and what the world is doing to me (could be the same thing) is the best way to know who I am at any given moment.

This attitude is in line with a story in the March 5 issue of New Scientist, Lose Yourself. A subtitle says, "Transcendent experiences, where our sense of self takes a back seat, seem to be good for us -- and there is no need to go to extremes to get the benefits, finds Jess Craig."

The story starts out by describing a study by Roland Griffiths where fifty-one people facing imminent death were given the psychedelic psilocybin, which the state where I live, Oregon, voted to legalize for therapeutic purposes. Sixty-0ne percent had a clinically significant reduction in depression symptoms and 51 percent had a reduction in anxiety symptoms.

 Craig writes:

Frederick Barrett, part of Griffith's team at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland, says it isn't clear that the therapeutic effect was entirely down to the transcendent experience. But "a lot of people believe that is the case," he adds, "and I am one of them."

If he is right, it is a striking example of how self-transcendent experiences, though temporary, can provide a lasting boost to well-being. And they don't have to be the intense experience induced by psychedelics. Just staring in awe at magnificent trees or concentrating intensely on a challenging task also seems to have the capacity to make you happier, less stressed and kinder to others.

The story includes a quote from William James: "We can experience union with something larger than ourselves and in that union find our greatest peace."

In my experience, that's absolutely true. But union comes in many forms. It doesn't mean totally losing yourself in another entity, such as someone on LSD feeling they've become a giant oak tree. That way lies madness, were it to continue.

Rather, greater peace and pleasure comes from any degree of moving away from a focus on our own self. For most of us, that involves inward-directed thinking and feeling. 

What makes self-transcendent experiences so beneficial? At first blush, you might think it would be unsettling, even terrifying, to suddenly lose your sense of self. Indeed, many people report that intense transcendent experiences are "psychologically challenging and difficult," according to Yaden. For that reason, clinical trials aimed at inducing these states are under close supervision.

But there is ample evidence from clinical psychology to demonstrate that excessive self-focus can have negative effects -- it is a hallmark of depression, for instance -- which could explain why reducing that focus, even temporarily, can be helpful.

When I'm not feeling very positive, I find that going for a walk with our dog in nature (we live in the country) helps a lot. So does going to my Tai Chi class, which requires concentration on what my body and the bodies of others are doing, which is akin to dancing. 

Even simply washing the dishes can improve my mood. That gets me out of my head and into soapy water, a sponge, the drainer, and such. Writing a blog post makes me feel better also, since I can't be thinking about my problems when I'm focusing on what to say about some subject outside of me.

If being inside our own head was so great, prisoners would want to be in solitary confinement, rather than fearing it. Sure, meditation can seem like an inward pursuit, but usually it isn't. When I'm focusing on my breathing, I'm aware of something that's happening in my body.

That awareness obviously is part of my subjective consciousness. However, what I'm aware of is part of the objective world. Breathing is real in a way that a thought or emotion isn't. It anchors me in outward reality, while my thoughts can rattle around in the confines of my mind with little purpose or meaning.

When I used to play competitive club tennis, a ploy was frequently used when, if we were playing doubles, one of the guys on the other team was serving really well. During a changeover of sides, my partner or I would say to that guy, "Hey, your serve is great today. Wow, no double faults."

Often that not-so-innocent statement would cause the person who had been serving so well to start thinking of his serve, rather than simply serving. Then his serve went downhill. This relates to the notion of "flow," something mentioned in the New Scientist story.

Supposedly a state of flow happens when we're competent at something, yet find it challenging. There's truth in that. However, I find that flow can also occur in unchallenging situations, such as raking leaves or mowing grass. 

It's getting out of our head and into the world that's important. Which is my cue to share one of my favorite dance videos, Alex and Twitch dancing to "Outta Your Mind" on So You Think You Can Dance. Absolutely mesmerizing. 

Comments

[um]

Lose yourself to find yourself.

Love, is losing yourself into somebody or something else, losing your own identity, merging into the focus of love.

That is called by all mystics, the "unio mystica"
It is direct experience of something, without the intervention of thoughts and emotions that stand in between as an obstacle, like a brick wall.

Knowing one self as expressed by the Socrates and others is the experience of awakeness, consciousness without thoughts and emotions.

It is the high school of phenomenology "knowing the essences" of things, the attention not being caught by the unique variation in which things appear ...its about realising the whitness oi all white things without seeing, pointin towards a particular, unique variation of "whiteness" as in the white cup before me.

Awareness of the essence of all things cannot be arive by looking at the appearance, of these things, the outer appearance, the thought appearance, the emotional appearance.
Humans just have one "door" and that door is to be found INSIDE themselves as they are there, inside themselves already, they cannot see themselves. By stopping to push the attention outside where it collides with other outer forms, and stopping reacting with thoughts and emotions, they become aware of their own essence.

Once that is achieved one will be able to "see" through the wall of all things [the unique variation in which things appear to exist] and see the essence.

Once that is done the realisation will dawn upon one that all essences are the same.

End of the story

Blessed are those that are asked to walk that path and manage to go to its destination.

The self image, humans create to compensate that they cannot see themselves, becomes so dear to them that the will hold to it as dearly as their own life.

Only love for something can overcome that fear.

It is not that easy, nor should it be made seen that it is the goal of life. Not all are called to do it. The crow is born to be a crow, like the nightengale and the eagle. No crow is asked to be an eagle.

Mystic union is not the goal of life and should not be presented as such ... it is a possibility, an invitation and blessed are those that are invited and accept the invitation gracefully.

[Spence Tepper]

The story includes a quote from William James: "We can experience union with something larger than ourselves and in that union find our greatest peace."

This is exactly what meditation is all about.

It's not about one's own personality. It's about going beyond that.

You can find that transcendance in intense work, as work itself is great therapy, a great teacher. You can find that in intense activity, such as athletic activity. Or you can find out in meditation.

In all cases the mind is focused to one degree or another, not on thoughts about this or that at all. Focus on something more interesting, in an objective of love. Not to become anything..

Not "May I be more....."

Not about oneself at all.

But in that love and focus of the beloved, we do become. We do transcend. Doesn't take good health, or any other conditions at all. It can be achieved in the.middle of the most terrible conditions.

Because it is in you. Your happiness is in you, though it has nothing to do with personality and thoughts at all.

[Manoj]

Lose yourself to find yourself

But don't lose yourself to a religious cult like Radha Soami and nutcase like Gurinder Singh Dhillion as you will never ever, end up finding yourself.

Doing repetitive parrot like simran of the 5 Satanic kaal names  leads you to the deep firey pits of hell.

You will not find yourself but will definitely end up loseing your real self, Soul.

Any meditation is better than a religious cult like Radha Soami meditation which is an organisation built on and filled with selfish means of power and greed as we see today with Gurinder Singh Dhillion who single handedly is going on a rampage of selfish wants with no morals of humanity in mind.

Meditate but watch out for that wolf in sheep's clothing who wants to devour souls
By misleading the world for wordly gains

Good to know your doing well Brian, now that your free from the oppressive regime of the deceptive Radha Soami & Gurinder Singh Dhillion

[Uchit]

We are born free, yet when we come to the world we are immediately indoctrinated by heavily brainwashed parents. Take for example RSSB parents, who think they have found the saviour, and that they are the lucky chosen lost sheep. Little do they know they have been taken by a cunning wolf disguised as a perfect guru. How deluded they are, how unfair life is.
They have been taken by the fake snakey RSSB cult and leader Gurinder Singh Dhillon who have fooled their prey. The only way out is to question your RSSB beliefs , and beliefs about who GSD the bandit guru really is and how further from the truth you really have become. Freedom comes from rescuing yourself from the mess you have been put in. Take your wings and Fly away, the chains of the parasite, gurinder Singh Dhillon can no longer can hold you down, the truth will set you free.

[Ron E.]

Certainly, it is said that to study Buddhism is to study the self – and to study the self is to lose the self, etc. I personally don’t think that it literally means to lose the self. After all, the self is merely a structure that has been formed since birth to give us a working basis to live and survive in our particular environment. Without a (sense of) self (and also without thought) it would surely be impossible to function in life.

After saying that, it would be another matter to see the self for the constructed phenomenon that it is thereby revealing all the divisive, worrying and conflicted thinking that arises from such a mental assumption – with all its fears, desires, opinions, hopes and beliefs. This would simply leave an intelligent functioning organism to encounter and survive in the world as it is, and of course using the knowledge and information it has accrued (the mind) without the assumption that there is someone, some mysterious entity ‘within’ directing operations.

The study you quote by Roland Griffiths where fifty-one people facing imminent death were given the psychedelic psilocybin and Sixty-0ne percent had a clinically significant reduction in depression symptoms and 51 percent had a reduction in anxiety symptoms. (Neurologist Kevin Nelson in his book The God Impulse also suggests that psilocybin could be used medically for some patients to alleviate some forms of suffering.)

And regarding suffering and the anxiety of imminent death, perhaps it is more to do with the self, this ego entity that thinks about and fears its annihilation whereas the intelligence of an integrated organism will face death as and when it happens.

[Sonya]

What is the self? Who are we?

Every relationship we’ve ever had shapes our view of the world, in one way or another, to some degree.

The mystical experience of Revelation (inner experience) is so personal that it cannot be expressed or shared with others in any meaningful way.

We have to learn to function in this world and interact with others in a sane and loving way.

So, along with meditation/revelation, you need a teacher that imparts wisdom, reason and logic.

No man is an island.

[um]

@ Sonya

India is THE nation of "guru-dom".
We had something in the middle ages.

What wisdom Sonya, has or can any guru impart??

Could your parents teach you to be Sonya?
Are others resposible for you being you, Sonya. that unique variation of humanhood?

[Sonya]

Wisdom is the understanding of how God’s love offers practical wisdom in understanding how we should live in this world, how we should interact with our brothers—understanding that any form of “attack” on others is an attack on ourselves and a rejection of God’s plan.

Wisdom is understanding what Love is and that most of the attributes that world assigns to God are not part of God and certainly don’t represent a loving father. If we don’t receive the right teachings about God, if we aren’t taught that God demands no sacrifice of any kind, then we can’t understand God and will continue attacking others because we don’t know what love is. Just as your guru teaches you a technique on how to sit, a teacher of God teaches you who God is and what Live means as much as the human mind can comprehend.

If you meditate with the false belief that God requires sacrifice from any of his sons or that God requires you to suffer in order to be accepted by him, then your meditation will not be complete.

That’s why it’s important to know what kind of god your praying to or meditating with. The wrong “god” will create fear of God, and lead you down the wrong path. We cannot be healed if we don’t understand Love. That should be evident by the current state of the world.

Very few people truly understand God’s love and many lies are told about God. So people end up feeling victimized and project their own fears into others. That has created a world of pain, suffering and violence. People mistakenly fear God or realize the absurdity of most of the teachings about God, therefore choosing not to believe in the Monster that the world tries to “sell” as being God.

[Sonya]

God never wanted for Jesus or any of the teacher of God to be crucified. These individuals came to share wisdom with others, some people didn’t like what these teachers were saying and decided to kill them. It’s as simple as that. No one can die for your sins. Martyrdom has never been part of God’s plan. It’s an evil concept. You can’t attribute evil to a God of Love. Jesus and may other saints shared teachings that upset some people, and those people decided to kill them for what they taught. It’s as simple and as sad as that.

God requires no sacrifice. However, we’re all connected so when you attack another you are simultaneously attacking yourself and you both suffer.

[um]

The dictum was:
"If you hadn't put before me, I would not have any knowledge of it.

That dictum holds for many of the things we, say to know.
We know these things because they were told to us and we accepted them.

The question is how much of what we consider as knowledge have we been able to prove for ourselves to be true.

Children are told that fires are hot and painful, but they only "know" what it is when they experience fire.

Many other, more untangible things, more abstract etc, are even more difficult to experience.

So ....
How many people would have the ide of a God, and what the concept was all about, if it was not put before them, and feed into them from early childhood?

They dictum was, God is love and love is god .... but who has seen or experienced both of them?

How would people know about what life is all about, if they were not instructed to believe a given worlviey in a culture?

It is all a matter of believing HEARSAY

Before 1970 who knew about meditation?

We, in the west we are all Christians, even if we are no members of this or that denomination or even atheist. Our thinking about the world, the universe and ourselves, is Christian and Christian in the way as it is ordained by the theologians
Theologians that use theology as a means to an end and that end is "controlable human behavior". They and especially the protestants have suppressed everything related to spontaneous inner experiences..

One of the previous RSSB gurus wrote ... Man came first and religion was instituted later for his evolution.

So men are TOLD to believe in God, they are told, what god is etc but without being told humans would not have had any interest in it.

Yes, there are those that have inner experiences and yes they have to deal with it.

But to drink coffee there is no need to believe in God.

Just ask yourself for a moment how humans USE that concept. Every concept is a tool like a hammer is, it is used for something .. the survival of the individual and the species. That concept of God is just one of the tools to do that.

It is all a matter of cicular thinking. All point at the watch tower people that they do it without realizing they all do it ... as they are all christians.

It is a survival tool ... and we ... we will never know how we came to be here and why.
Those who say to know are ..fiction writers,

[umami]

The Law of the Hammer!

"I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail."
~Abraham Maslow

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_the_instrument

[Sonya]

The Sun rises in the East and sets in the West.

The End.