I give away eight boxes of books. And a lot of fond memories.

I woke up yesterday morning with a fresh insight: time for the books to go. Not just the small box of giveaway books that had been sitting on a table in my bedroom for quite while. 

Also, the boxes of books that had been languishing in the storage space above our carport for much longer, about fifteen or twenty years, I can't remember exactly.

Those books had a lot more sentimental value, which might explain why I hadn't thought of donating them before, even though I'd glance at the boxes every time I climbed up the dropdown ladder to get something out of the crawl space.

(Aptly named, since you have to crawl around on the sheets of plywood placed over the rafters, there not being nearly enough room to stand up.)

The eight boxes that I took this afternoon to the Friends of the Salem Public Library for their annual book sale mostly contained books that I'd used as research for three books I've written: God's Whisper, Creation's Thunder; Life is Fair; Return to the One.

Each was written in the spirit of seva, volunteer service, during the time I was a member of Radha Soami Satsang Beas, a guru-centered religious organization with headquarters in India.

So the boxes of books were sort of like a mental archaeological excavation. They contained mostly fond memories of a period in my life when I held considerably different spiritual beliefs than I have now. I took photos of the boxes before I put them in my car.

The bottom box in the photo above contained some of the books I'd used in research for my first book, God's Whisper, Creation's Thunder. I started to write it not long after Gurinder Singh Dhillon became the guru of Radha Soami Satsang Beas following the death of Charan Singh, the guru who initiated me in 1971.

I'd never even had a high school physics class, even though the book was about the relation between mysticism and the New Physics (quantum mechanics, relativity theory, etc.). It took years of reading, note taking, pondering, writing, and re-writing before the book was published by Threshold Books.

Radha Soami Satsang Beas had agreed to buy several thousand copies to resell at a low cost, which sweetened the deal enough for Threshold Books to agree to publish the book -- which they found appealing because I'd included so many Rumi quotes, and Threshold was a Sufi-oriented publisher.

Having developed a writing relationship with the folks in charge of books published by Radha Soami Satsang Beas, my next book project was Life is Fair. This effort was even more meaningful to me, since I was told that Charan Singh had wanted to have a little book describing the karmic rationale for vegetarianism that he could hand out to people. 

When I was asked if I wanted to take on the project after it had stalled with other people attempting to write such a book, it took me about one millisecond to say "Yes! Absolutely." Being able to fulfill a wish of my guru before he died was a dream come true. Hey, maybe my meditation sucked, but I felt like I could write a book about karma and vegetarianism.

At times that feeling seemed like a fantasy. There were so many changes of direction and rewrites, I almost lost hope. Almost. Eventually I went to India to finish the book at the RSSB headquarters and it ended up being published by Radha Soami Satsang Beas. One of the pleasant parts of writing Life is Fair was finding cartoons to illustrate some key points in a humorous manner.

I spent a lot of time at the marvelous Powell's Books in Portland, an hour's drive north of where I lived in Salem, sitting on the floor of the Humor section, thumbing through cartoon books featuring Calvin & Hobbes, Dilbert, and other comic strips.

Today I couldn't bear to let the cartoon books I'd bought go when it came time to unload the box they were in onto a library cart. Those were the only books I took home with me. I looked at a few pages and started laughing, then figured that while my spiritual/philosophical views have changed considerably, my love of humor hasn't.

The bottom box above mostly held books I'd gotten for my research into Plotinus, a Neoplatonist Greek philosopher. After Life is Fair was completed, I wrote Gurinder Singh and asked him if there were any other books I could write for Radha Soami Satsang Beas. He replied that they'd like to have a Mystics of the West series and listed some possibilities. Plotinus was one of them.

I'd heard about Plotinus but knew next to nothing about his philosophy. So even though Plotinus is notorious for being one of the most difficult Greek philosophers to understand -- his Enneads are full of confusing passages -- I dove into the deep waters of Plotinus and read every book about him in English, along with every translation of the Enneads in English. 

Return to the One was quite a writing journey. After several years of work, just as with the other two books I despaired that I'd ever reach a satisfactory endpoint. But I refused to give up, telling myself that if I had to write out the book on paper bags and leave them strewn on park benches, that's what I'd do. (Yeah, unrealistic and kind of dramatic, but writers have strange ways of getting through dark periods.)

In the end, Return to the One wasn't published by Radha Soami Satsang Beas for reasons I've talked about in other blog posts. A sticking point was that the RSSB publishing department wanted me to include a quotation from Charan Singh at the beginning of each chapter. I wasn't willing to do that, since this was a book about the philosophy of Plotinus, not a book about how that philosophy could be seen as relating to the RSSB teachings. So I published the book on my own. 

Anyway, I feel good about sending those eight boxes of books off to the Friends of the Salem Public Library. It was time to let the books go. I like to think that they'll end up with people who enjoy reading them as much as I did. They're filled with notes and highlighting. So whoever buys them will see what I found important, which may be quite different from what they think is important. 

Lastly, a (very) minor miracle. The eight boxes fit into the not-very-large back of my Subaru Crosstrek.

Comments

[Appreciative Reader]

That can be such a wrench, giving your books away.

I'm afraid I'm a hoarder myself. Not proud of it, not a bit, but that's just how it is. I keep adding bookshelves, reaching up to the ceiling, because after a point you can't just keep adding regular bookcases.

I read a good bit myself, but I'm in awe of the sheer numbers of books you go through, Brian, as evidenced by your reviews here (and considering that no doubt you read more than what you write about here). Absolutely, books piling up must be a huge issue for you, given that you do this far more prolifically, and in any case have been doing it for way longer!

Giving away books is great. Don't hoard, guys. Let someone else benefit from them as well. (Says the guy who thinks this is a good idea, but has never ever had the heart to do this himself! Note to self: Must change that, one of these days.)

[Vinny]

Strange, you enjoy your own unconscious mind in reading and writing, no guru could spark conscious mind in you. Maybe with Jesus in eternity of Christendom you will learn the basics of conscious mind.

[Spence Tepper]

Brian Ji
These physical symbols of your own journey, and letting them go with honor and reverence is how we should also treat each other, even as we see we now hold different views.

People tend to be a mixed bag, though. A book can be refined to reflect a higher ideal without too much of the artist's hand showing itself. Still, it can't be prevented. The artist comes through, their signature on every sentence, every presented concept.

So when our personal view changes neutrally over the years, we can be happy that, faults and all, we are humans and not books. We aren't static. We can grow. We need to grow. We do grow, even if we struggle with it at times.

When anyone reads your journey, it helps them understand their own.

Every book you give away will be read, at least in part, by at least one other human being.

And the positive effect on that person, in their very thinking, their programming, and how they think and speak and reason from that moment on, and those who are affected around them, is incalculable.

So, as Watts would say, if you don't hold on, if you breath out, it will all come back to you... Perhaps in the form of a slightly more enlightened environment.

[Spence Tepper]

Oops typo. Should read " When our personal view changes naturally over the years, we can be happy that, faults and all, we are humans and not books."

[Dungeness]

@ Brian [ One of the pleasant parts of writing Life is Fair was finding cartoons to illustrate some key points in a humorous manner. ]

I'm convinced no wisdom is possible without a sense of humour... mostly
by being able to laugh at ourself.

[Uchit]

When I discovered the true selfish motives behind RSSB and gurinder singh dhillon, I needed to quickly and effectively flush all the many years of indoctrination out of my mind. I therefore resorted to the extreme measure of burning all the many books i had which had anything to do with science of the soul and RSSB, and burned all the pictures of gurinder singh dhillon the mafia boss - good riddens to rubbish. Giving away the books and photos wasn't an option as I didn't want to contribute to the spread this evil satanic , living master virus indoctrination.

[Manoj]

A close friend of mines and his entire family including all they're futher family relations all left Gurinder Singh Dhillion & Radha Soami Cult as soon as they eventually saw and understood the ugly truth which is now undeniable to everyone.

They threw everything that they had away, all the Videos, Satsang Tapes, Photos and Books of Gurinder Singh Dhillion & Radha Soami Cult.

They were initiated too they stopped the evil kaal meditation they were doing repeatedly repeating kaals 5 name simran of  "Jyot Naranjan, Onker, Rarankar, Sohang, Satnam"

Which not only kept them delusional and vulnerable but they didn't want anyone to come across the same evil path that they had mistakenly taken and now come to regret so much.

So they binned the whole lot in the Trash, where not only does it all definitely belong, but so does Gurinder Singh Dhillion himself too. Who knowingly promotes his little evil lies

Good riddance Good for nothing Goon,
Gurinder Singh Dhillion for taking advantage and destroying so many innocent lives.

Heres wishing you a slow n painful karmic payback for all your sick n twisted ways.

Rott in jail then head off to hell forever

[Lovi Dhillon]

Radha Soami Ji,

There are so many mystics came to this earth not everyone became his or her disciples not everyone follow him some criticising him while some appreciate him it’s individual perspective

while the question about RSSB

From when I First see him and
still follow *My Loving Caring Master Hazur Babaji Baba Gurinder Singh Dhillon ji Maharaj Ji* He Couldn’t Says That He Wants Anything From His Disciple or that his disciples Think That he Is God He Only Say I am a teacher and I only give Knowledge to you and when you give time to your meditation you realise the god realisation

While about his Personal Life No one has right to Rise a question about Anyone personal life we are seekers and We only want to seeks Sprituality From Him

To whom he Give He Is Giving away from seven ocens and to whom he didn’t give he is not giving while the person Is sittings With him so it’s the question of awakening 🙏🏻

Peoples like you didn’t appreciate the Things his organisation done in COVID-19 panadamic or others things his organisation Done in different years panadamics

*If you Do you meditation daily Than your all misunderstandings are clear because than you realise that he is everything and whatever he do do for our best*

you peoples are jealous of RSSB Growings So that’s why you mislead the people
🙏🏻
But it didn’t effect on RSSB so please carry on your works 😂

And sorry if I heart you

Loving Regards,
Lovi Singh Dhillon
LS Dhillon
(LSD)

[manjit]

I used to be somewhat of a bibliophile.

My first purge of books occurred when I was aged around 17 or so; I had accumulated a considerably impressive library of western and eastern esoteric, occult, spiritual and religious books with specific focus on "astral projection" (I believe I had nearly single book published on the subject in English, asides from 1 or 2), some quite old and rare (nowadays at least). Having first heard about Radhasoami doctrine aged 12, I started following RSSB religiously at about 17......and one of the silliest things I did was trashing....literally putting in the bin.....ALL those books as they were all "lower level" stuff which distract from the elevated spiritual path I was now going to dedicate myself to....

My second and last purge of books occurred when I was aged around 23/24 or so; I had accumulated every single book printed by RSSB, even some out of print ones. At aged 23/24, having completely left RS/SB, the RSSB books were taking up too much space as my interests rapidly broadened bringing with them an influx of new books. I decided to give away every RS book that was about RS and the RS masters, unless it contained some more generalised and universal philosophical value, ie. I kept the Philosophy of the Masters and all the "Mystics from the East" translations, and got rid of the rest.

Now, nearing my mid-40s, I can say with some certainty only one of those purges do I occasionally have moments of regret for and lament at the loss of rare and occasionally brilliant texts that induced wonder and mystery in me as a child (for those needing a hint, I'm not talking about "Path of the Masters" ;).

But, I think my bibliophilia has waned nowadays.......my library is larger than it ever has been, but I am not so much attached to it or the books therein. Indeed, I would guess 75% or so of the books I've read over the past few years have been electronic, as I seek to save space (and environmental impact) of buying hard copy books.

Sri Huzur Maharaj Baba Brian Ji Bhagwan Soami Sant Satguru Hine Ji - Is it not a curio that RSSB claims to not be a religion (unless in they're court attempting to avoid taxes and build properties in communities that don't want them :), but rather an "evidential & experiential spiritual path", yet despite having millions of followers worldwide, that the very few people who write their books don't actually have ANY direct "evidential" or "experiential" "spiritual" knowledge or experience whatsoever on any level about the reality or truth of their religion/path/dogma/cosmology/theology, and are rather merely sharing intellectual concepts and beliefs; THIS is the source of knowledge and information for millions of seekers?

Monkey see, monkey do.

Sri Huzur Maharaj Baba Brian Ji Bhagwan Soami Sant Satguru Hine Ji, you wrote: " I was told that Charan Singh had wanted to have a little book describing the karmic rationale for vegetarianism that he could hand out to people."

I'm going to be frank, Life is Fair was never one of my favourite books and I only read it once......but iirc to be fair when I read it the spell of RS was wearing off already. But if I may ask; how many time was the word "compassion" used in your book? It does not appear Charan's commissioning of this project had any concern with that aspect?

Sri Huzur Maharaj Baba Brian Ji Bhagwan Soami Sant Satguru Hine Ji wrote: "In the end, Return to the One wasn't published by Radha Soami Satsang Beas for reasons I've talked about in other blog posts. A sticking point was that the RSSB publishing department wanted me to include a quotation from Charan Singh at the beginning of each chapter."

Heh?

It appears you are suggesting RSSB commissioned you to write about about Plotinus and neo-platonic conceptions of the One, but then to prefix each chapter - however disconnected or unrelated to any of his conceptions of mysticism and spirituality it may be - with a quote from Charan?

This is profoundly intellectually dishonest and disingenuous. A kind of fake pretence which, alas, seems to sum up the RSSB religion nowadays.

It seems there is far more to the speculative claims of those like myself who have been saying for years that RS creates false, misleading, incomplete and ultimately dishonest representations of the beliefs and practices of past "mystics" by somehow associating them with RS and it's concepts. I actually thought this was the unintentional consequence of religious fervour and belief, but it seems this kind of consequence is built in to the very structure and dynamics of RSSB; go out there, pick a mystic, write a book....and then retro-actively associate it with RS.......Integrity and authenticity clearly isn't at the top of the RSSB publications dept. list of motivations. All front, all facade, imo.

Anyway......one of the books I did keep from my RSSB days was.....God's Whisper, Creation's Thunder.........I'm not sure how it would hold up today, but I loved reading that as a teenager!

Non-Existant Blessings from the Non-existant God to his Dear Non-existant follower Brian!