I'm re-sharing my post about my sister's memorial service

Back in 2010 I wrote a blog post soon after my sister died, "Memorial service shows sad side of religion." 

I'm re-sharing that link for the reason I expressed on Facebook just now.

Carol Ann, my sister, died in December 2009. For ten years before her death, starting in 2000, her only daughter (Cathy) refused to let Carol Ann or her husband, Bob, have any contact with their two grandchildren. This hurt Carol Ann and Bob immensely. It was a source of great pain for them.

 

A primary reason for this sad estrangement was the fundamentalist religion embraced by Cathy and her husband. Carol Ann and Bob didn't believe in God. But they sure believed in loving their daughter and grandchildren. Yet Cathy felt they were a bad influence on their grandchildren.

 

Yesterday I heard from Cathy for the first time in many years. She wanted to reconnect with me, her uncle. Before I respond to her email, I wanted to re-read the blog post I wrote about my sister's memorial service, where I talked about the importance of reconciling with loved ones while they're alive.

 

Because after they're dead, it's too late. I liked what I said about this back in 2010, and I still like the post now. I'm sharing it in the hope that if anyone who comes across this Facebook post is in a similar situation, maybe reading what I wrote will spur them to reach out to a family member, or anyone else, they're estranged from.

 

Now. Not later. We can't count on later ever happening, no matter how long we believe we and the person we're distanced from will live. Carol Ann was just 72 when she died. Bob died soon after. Without having seen their grandchildren for over ten years.

Comments

[💕💕💕]

The today's
Quote of the Day is of immense value just here and SOO appropriate :

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."
— Mother Teresa —

[Spence Tepper]

It's quite interesting that anyone, Fundamentalist Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or Atheist, or anyone holding to a political view, would hold so firmly to a system of belief that this would affect their ability to get along with those around us.

But really who is our family but those we have come to love? Couldn't a friend be a closer relative?

It's very interesting because as a believer there is a transcendent experience of the divine that is quite separate from any thinking. Thinking feels like self - imposed prison.

All our worries and opinions evaporate in that transcendent experience. And we see each other as souls beyond age, sex, opinion. Beings of light are beyond such shadows.

Perhaps it is just a higher way of thinking that overcomes us with a wave of love we feel from a higher, less distinct source.

That joy is a sea we are all in.

So it becomes easier to give up our system of belief as a way our brain filters things, when we don't need those filters to experience that transcendant experience. It defies explanation. And it gives us a sense of love and compassion for those around us, a strange appreciation for how hopeless getting through life is with these tiny and reactive brains. But how hopeful that greater more expansive internal experience is as a place we can return to again and again which gives us strength, inspiration and renewed love for all.

[Spence Tepper]

When people are in such fear of each other, of those with different beliefs, where is their faith in a greater power to unite?

But it isn't simply faith in a more powerful God that helps us overcome fear.

Our can be the strength of Truth Brian Ji teaches. You don't need God to see that most fear is an illusion and can be harmful.

But if you must cure or through the filter of faith, then if that power chooses to bring a family together of diverse views, who dare complain about God's will?

Rather it is our will that must be placed aside.

Dear Cathy, read the room, look at the people God brings to your table. They are there for a good reason. Every one of them has a place at His table.

[Spence Tepper]

Oops typos, sorry..
Should read
"It can be the strength of Truth Brian Ji teaches. You don't need God to see that most fear is an illusion and can be hurtful and should be rejected. We should not be afraid of what we do not understand. We can just accept that we don't understand, just like we don't understand most things in this world. But they generally work for our good.

But if you must look through the filter of faith, then if that power chooses to bring a family together of diverse views, who dare complain about God's will?

[Roger]

"A primary reason for this sad estrangement was the fundamentalist religion embraced by Cathy and her husband." ------ What was the fundamentalist religion?? Why did Cathy want to reconnect??