Life is best lived by embracing insecurity

One of the things I talked about in my first book, a shorter and simpler version of which I published a few years ago, is that happenings in the world can be deterministic while also being unpredictable.

This is what chaos theory is all about. Complex systems are made up of causes and effects, yet in such a fashion that it is virtually (and maybe totally) impossible to know what they are going to do next. 

An example I cited in my book is tossing a cork into a stream above some rapids.

Every movement of the cork is determined by the laws of physics, yet there is no way to predict exactly where the cork will end up a few hundred yards downstream, because a slight movement at any point in its journey can lead to big changes in its final destination.

Such is one reason why our longing for security, for predictability, for being assured that what we want to have happen actually will happen, is doomed to failure. 

Another way of looking at security and insecurity is wonderfully discussed by Alan Watts in his book, "The Wisdom of Insecurity." I've written many posts about this book over the years, since it is one of my favorites. You can find those posts by using the Google search box in the right sidebar.

I'm making my way through Oliver Burkeman's book, "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking." This morning I finished a chapter called The Safety Catch. 

It contains a nice summary of how Alan Watts looks upon our quest for security. Here's how the chapter ends.

To understand the final flourish that Watts has in store, think back to the end of the previous chapter and the challenge it presented to our assumptions about the nature of the self. 

There we confronted the fact that there seems to be no straightforward place at which to draw the line between 'self' and 'other' -- and that the boundary itself, even if we settle on somewhere to draw it, is more of a meeting point than a dividing line. 'Self' and 'other' rely on each other for their very existence.

If that's true, it follows that 'security' is a mistake -- because it implies a notion of separate selfhood that doesn't make much sense. What does it even mean to separate yourself from an ecosystem that is, in fact, what constitutes you? 

The point is not to 'confront' insecurity, but to appreciate that you are it. Watts writes:

To understand that there is no security is far more than to agree with the theory that all things change, more even than to observe the transitoriness of life. 

The notion of security is based on the feeling that there is something within us which is permanent, something which endures through all the days and changes of life. We are struggling to make sure of the permanence, continuity, and safety of this enduring core, this center and soul of our being, which we call 'I'.

For this we think to be the real man -- the thinker of our thoughts, the feeler of our feelings, the knower of our knowledge. We do not actually understand that there is no security until we realize that this 'I' does not exist.

This extraordinary passage, once you grasp the point -- and it took me a while -- explains in the most complete sense why our efforts to find happiness are so frequently sabotaged by 'ironic' effects, delivering the exact opposite of what we set out to gain.

All positive thinking, all goalsetting and visualising and looking on the bright side, all trying to make things go our way, as opposed to some other way, is rooted in an assumption about the separateness of 'us' and those 'things'. But on closer inspection, this assumption collapses.

Trying to flee from insecurity to security, from uncertainty to certainty, is an attempt to find an exit from the very system that makes us who we are in the first place.

We can influence the system of which we are a part, certainly. But if we are motivated by this misunderstanding about who we are and what security is, we'll always risk going to too far, trying too hard, in self-defeating ways. Watts concludes:

The real reason why human life can be so utterly exasperating and frustrating is not because there are facts called death, pain, fear, or hunger. The madness of the thing is that when such facts are present, we circle, buzz, writhe, and whirl, trying to get the 'I' out of the experience.

...Sanity, wholeness and integration lie in the realization that we are not divided, that man and his present experience are one, and that no separate 'I' or mind can be found.

...[Life] is a dance, and when you are dancing, you are not intent on getting somewhere. The meaning and purpose of dancing is the dance.

This, then, is the deep truth about insecurity: it is another word for life. That doesn't mean it's not wise to protect yourself, as far as you can, from certain specific dangers. But it does mean that feeling secure and really living life are, in some ultimate sense, opposites.

And that you can no more succeed in achieving perfect security than a wave could succeed in leaving the ocean.

Comments

[Vinny]

Security, insecurity has nothing to do with "You shall not lie" commandment. Half truth is a big lie. The karmic reaction of that can be apocalypse and wiped out developed world. It seems you have become too much Sant Mat critic to miss out on Christian Apocalyptic books and destruction of world.

[Spence Tepper]

Security is not actually based upon permanence. That is a false equivalance the author makes in attempting to describe the false thinking of those other people his book seeks to enlighten.

Security is based on immediate safety. Are we safe right now? And if so then we may embellish that, imagining we will always be so. Or we may seek a belief system that justifies our right to feel safe.

Are we unsafe? What is threatening us? Can we rightly assess the threat level? Can we do anything about it?

What tools do we have within us to see through the fog and have a better picture of what is around us, behind us, and ahead of us?

And for that our mental practice, our meditation practice, our spiritual practice is the source of our true safety and security. What is in us will save us. What is not within us will kill us.

One thing is certain, ignorance is no source of security.

[Sonia]

Perfect timing. Great reminder.

“...Sanity, wholeness and integration lie in the realization that we are not divided, that man and his present experience are one, and that no separate 'I' or mind can be found.”

So true. The easiest way to break free from attachment or get out of a miserable relationship is to stop responding in any way. It takes your mind out of fight mode and gives you peace. Then your attachment fades away. We never get “attached” to the things that are good for us because those things are natural. We only get “attached” to what’s unnatural or destructive.

When we’re not attached, we’re not insecure, and then we don’t care if that person or thing comes or goes. That may sound cold but it’s not intended to be. I’m just saying attachment isn’t love and it isn’t fun. It only leads to insecurity and destructive behavior. Peace is the road to bliss. Desire is the road to attachment and attachment destroys any hope of joy.

[Spence Tepper]

This world that we perceive is indeed a projection of our mind. But science shows us there is a real world here. Our brain takes information from it, creates a movie for us, and shows us that movie.

Our brain projects the world we see. Our brain labels what we see as good, bad, threatening , peaceful. There is a real world. We are in a dark room watching a show projected by our brain, which also sends us images meant to trigger emotion. Like any film director. We don't usually speak with that director in us. She is an A. I. doing the job she was programmed to do. Oddly enough she is under contract to us. We hired her, gave her the script a long time ago. All in us, all a part of us. Her script is us also.

This is a dark room in a building, this body, from which there is no immediate escape. We are in it, it is in us, we are the building, the room, and the projector. And even the A. I. we have never met.

What happens to them happens to us. What threatens them threatens us.

But through meditation, prayer, concentration, we can watch the movie as a reviewer, as an associate director, as a costumer helping with wardrobe. And not as a viewer caught up in the drama.

Then, realizing this is a dark room, we recognize there are small lights and subtle sounds in this theater, along the walkways, meant for viewers who are sight or sound impaired, which lead out to the lobby, and from there to the other rooms (we own this building) . It is there we can explore. The body is connected to reality. It is a part of it. The rooms of the body are connected to other rooms in this reality.

The more we explore, the more we find those connections which are persistent, reliable. We can call that real, but it's all real, all part of the same machinery.

It is us, but with a little effort, we realize we have only been chained to the theater and the movie by our attention. Focusing on the lights or sounds in the theater itself helps us separate from our complete involvement in the movie. We are not chained to the theater. We can learn to explore as the separate consciousness we are. I can look at my hands and inspect them. I can learn also to discuss the film with the AI director. And to explore the other places in this machinery, behind the stage, under the stage, in the lounge, even out in the sunlight of the street. The problem is that we can believe we are doing this when we are still actually just watching part of the movie.

The only way to really stop watching the movie is to attend to what is in the theater that isn't a part of the movie... The lights and sounds placed there for patrons who need to use the bathroom or simply to leave the theater.

They lead out, and once in the lobby, we can step outside the theater. We notice construction workers driving wrecking balls towards our theater and only then remember that we only leased the building, which is being torn down this afternoon. And we catch an Uber home, the place we forgot about while watching the movie.

I give the movie a B-.. It was convincing, but I won't be watching it again. Anything that takes my attention so far away from reality that I forget my lease is up, the wrecking crew is slated for this afternoon, and my beautiful home in the mountains overlooking a lake can't be healthy.

[Sonia]

Security, insecurity has nothing to do with "You shall not lie" commandment. Half truth is a big lie. The karmic reaction of that can be apocalypse and wiped out developed world. It seems you have become too much Sant Mat critic to miss out on Christian Apocalyptic books and destruction of world.

Posted by: Vinny | September 12, 2020 at 03:13 AM

Come again? The karmic reaction of a half truth is an apocalypse that will wipe out the developed world??

[S]

“The world you see is based on ‘sacrifice’ of oneness. It is a picture of complete disunity and total lack of joining. Around each entity is built a wall so seeming solid that it looks as if what is inside can never reach without, and what is out can never reach and join with what is locked away within the wall. Each part must sacrifice the other part, to keep itself complete. For if they joined each one would lose its own identity, and by their separation are their selves maintained.”