I love reading deconversion stories. It's hugely more interesting to learn how someone came to reject a religion, than how they embraced it.
Here's a message I got from a person who used to be a devout Christian until they saw the light of rationality. What's fascinating is how they used the Bible to come to a conviction that Christianity didn't make sense.
I also liked how they discovered what happened after they deconverted. Nothing bad, though this is what preachers claimed would happen. Actually, this person says they are happier now in a number of ways.
So don't hesitate to leave a religion if this is what you feel like doing. I was an active member of a guru-centered Eastern religion for 35 years.
Like the person who sent me this message, the religion I belonged to claimed that bad karma would befall anyone who came to doubt its teachings. And also like this person, I'm happier now with no regrets.
Read on to learn a compelling de-conversion story.
I was a Christian from 1980 until around 2016, 36 years of varying levels of indoctrination. I was a very zealous believer from around 1992 until 2014.
I went to Bible college, was on worship teams, taught in various capacities in three different churches, did some traveling ministry, and was a youth pastor and associate pastor. My wife was, and still is, a very devout Christian. So, what would possibly cause me to leave my Christian beliefs behind?
Short answer, it was mostly because of the Bible.
The church I went to, and the corresponding Bible college, was an evangelical/word of faith flavor. We were taught, God/the Bible said it, I believe it, and that settles it. We were discouraged to read any books outside of our group. We were taught that we should not question anything in the Bible because that would start to “contaminate” our faith.
I was effectively brainwashed. And I did my share of brainwashing. With this kind of indoctrination, it’s amazing what a person overlooks in the Bible, or just doesn’t see it.
The first time I remember a major doctrinal question coming up, it was about tithing. We were taught that, according to the Bible, we were to give 10% of our income to our local church. And if you really love God, you will give more than that! And, if you don’t give, you are stealing from God himself.
I had a good friend who was questioning the teachings we had received on tithing and asked if I would study it out, and he would do the same.
In the Old Testament, I found that there were basically three kinds of tithes. One was to go to the religious leaders so they could give themselves full time to the service of God. The second tithe was basically a savings program. You would set 10% aside and use it to basically have a giant religious party. It was called the feast tithe, but I like party tithe.
I don’t ever remember any pastors encouraging people to put a tithe away for themselves. And the third was to take care of the poor and widowed. Again, I don’t hear that one much.
In the New Testament, there is NO instruction to tithe, at all! None. Zero. Zip.
In fact, the instruction in the NT basically tells people to give where you feel you should and if you are able to do so. WTF?!?! That’s not what I had been taught! So, if that teaching can’t be backed up with scriptures, what else is bull shit? Oh, there is plenty of bull shit!
Around this time, I had also quit attending church on a regular basis. And by 2012, I wasn’t going at all.
This had an interesting effect on me. Without the weekly brainwashing/indoctrination, I began to think for myself, more and more. GASP! I know, right? In 2014 I decided to do an in-depth study of the Bible, without the church glasses on.
By this time, I had probably read through the Bible 10 times, and much of it many more. But this was different. I was diving in with as few preconceived ideas as possible. I studied the Bible, its history, and the history of the Christian church.
The list of things that I found would take several writings to cover. But here are a few things.
The creation story in Genesis. Nope. Way too much scientific evidence to the contrary. And, without the “fall of man” in the garden, everything else kind of falls apart. The worldwide flood of Noah. Holy shit. Outside of God completely suspending all natural laws that we know of, and then some, this could not have happened.
Not to mention the fact that a so called, all loving God, wiped out almost all life on earth in one of the most frightening ways possible. Assuming that it really happened. And the list goes on. For an evangelical Christian, when the Bible loses its credibility, that’s a huge step towards becoming a non-believer.
There are no original copies, or even copies of copies of copies, of any books of the Bible. Men have been adding to and taking away and changing things for hundreds of years. The idea of hell as we know it today didn’t come along until five centuries after Jesus was supposed to have lived.
And yet, so many Christians preach it like it’s in the Bible. It’s not! Only vague references. If there is a hell, God did a terrible job of making sure that mankind has a clear understanding of who goes there, and how to not go there. Not even all Christians can agree on that! If there is a God, he/she is a terrible communicator.
If you do an internet search for inconsistencies and contradictions in the Bible, there are a lot. And since many Christians believe that the Bible is the perfect word of God, even one is too many. To me, it is quite obvious that the Bible is a work of men.
One of the most telling things to me about my experience, is what didn’t happen when I left my faith behind.
We were basically told that if a person walks away from God, their life will just go to shit. Your pet will die, your car will break down, you’ll be consumed by your sin, etc. Well, so far, none of that has happened. If anything, my life has gotten better.
I’m in a better place mentally and emotionally. I think I’m a better, more compassionate human than I was when I was a Christian. I’m better off financially. I have good, healthy relationships in my life. My physical health is good. So any changes that have taken place have been positive ones.
Today, I’m not convinced that there is no god (divine, invisible being, creator, etc) of any kind. But I’m certainly not convinced that there is. In fact, I lean much more towards believing there is no god. But if there is a god, I doubt we humans can really comprehend that god.
The road manager for AC/DC, Barry Taylor, said, "God is the name of the blanket we throw over mystery to give it shape." LOL.
The road manager for AC/DC makes more sense to me than most theologians! And maybe that’s part of what religion tries to do, other than controlling people and making money, that is. Maybe part of religion is throwing a blanket over mystery to give it shape?
Imagination, faith and even love is divided according a normal or Gauss curve.
An one one side those who almost lack that talent, capacity and on the other side those who have so much of it that it can become a problem for them and the environment.
Most children are able to lose themselves in a play of imagination ... match boxes become cars and shoeboxes garages.
Some children never manage to drive those cars and even will argue that their friends are stupid as everybody can see that it are no cars but matchboxes.
Until they die children live through many imaginative games ... to name one democracy, home land, national flag ... some are prepared to die for it.
The bible and all other things of Christianity are like Layla in the tale. Friends on the one side of the curve where there is a lack of capacity to imagine come forward with the best of intentions to convince Jamun, one on the opposite site of the curve of imagination, to give up the Bible by showing him that reality doesn´t reflect the bible. He smiles and says ... you should read the book as I do.
It is all a matter of ... giving .... opening up .... like playing and listening to music.
We do not like all the same music.
Posted by: um | August 18, 2020 at 01:01 AM
Most religious people I have met, if not all, have lost their ability to think.
Ask them a logical question and they have no answer except maybe to just repeat some phrase they have been brainwashed with.
If I ask “ if God is everywhere and everything and infinite and eternal and formless, then exactly WHO are you trying to “meet”?”
You cannot by definition meet an infinite and formless god and are already one with him. So then what is the purpose of your effort to meditate?
What’s your goal?
How can seeming light which by definition is in duality have anything to do with a god who is outside duality?
And if you did meet god, what would you say to him?
Posted by: OshoRobbins | August 18, 2020 at 10:38 AM
Blind faith would lead to pit of unconscious mind. Sant Mat / Yoga is more about abhyas / practice than blind faith. Christians also do abhyas/ practice of idolizing Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos who steal inventions from original inventors mix it with words stolen from English Dictionary and start their shop/dukaan of entrapment. Osho Rajneesh called Christianity a slow poison. Even the education system of Christians is entrapment to make army of slaves for capitalist masters.
Posted by: Vinny | August 18, 2020 at 11:19 AM
"In the New Testament, there is NO instruction to tithe, at all! None. Zero. Zip."
"41 Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts.
"42 But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.
"43 Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44 They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”
Mark 12:41-43
Posted by: Spence Tepper | August 19, 2020 at 12:21 AM
Hi Spence, it's true that many Bible teachers and pastors use Mark 12:41-43 as an instruction or commandment to tithe. But I'm not sure that's the point of the teaching? I'm not even sure that this story is about money all? I think it's more about the person's heart. I think Matt 23:23 is a closer NT scripture that can be interpreted as a commandment to tithe. "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices--mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former." I've heard many pastors say that, "without neglecting the former", is Jesus' commandment for the modern church to still be tithing. But the way I read this is that they were following the law of tithing, but justice, mercy, and faithfulness are more about the heart, and these were being neglected. Also, I notice that he is talking to the teachers of the law and the Pharisees, not the people as a whole. I believe it was a lesson in showing justice, mercy, and faithfulness more than a commandment to tithe.
But that's a whole different issue with scriptures in the Bible. So many of them are open to different interpretations based on a person's indoctrination, understanding of interpreting scripture, which school of understanding of interpreting scripture... LOL. And so on.
Posted by: John | August 19, 2020 at 06:40 AM
@ The worldwide flood of Noah. Holy shit. Outside of God completely
@ suspending all natural laws that we know of, and then some, this
@ could not have happened.
Taken literally, the contradictions of the flood are laughable
as many have pointed out before. But the trouble with taking
a religious or mystic tale literally is that it was likely intended to
be a metaphor. Reasonably, the thesis has been advanced
that esoteric spiritual meaning was conveyed in a simpler,
more relatable way to masses of listeners. It would resonate
with the subconscious and be understood more fully in time
with the growth and deepening of spiritual awareness.
The "flood" may have symbolized the outward flood of human
passion and the ark a sanctuary within for instance. But, such
interpretations are fraught with uncertainty because you've
plunged down the mind's rabbit hole trying to parse spiritual
content beyond the intellect.
For a very mystical, often tough, read on the bible for example:
http://www.esotericmeanings.com/mystic-bible-by-dr-randolph-stone-pdf/
Posted by: Dungeness | August 19, 2020 at 08:18 AM
I find it interesting that the current RSSB guru quotes the Bible so regularly now. Especially the King James Version which is so widely criticized among many Christian faiths as being inaccurate and tainted by King James himself to have the Bible rewritten/altered to suit his own needs.
Please stop quoting the Bible. There are many accounts of The Great Flood story from all sorts of cultures and religions that have nothing to do with Christianity. It seems to have been an historical event which various cultures and religions interpreted differently.
I took an academic Bible Literature course in school which focused objectively on the cultural and historical events which formed the Bible as we know it today. The King James Version is a sad joke.
The Bible itself is riddled with politics that render the shared historical accounts questionable at best.
Posted by: Sonia | August 19, 2020 at 06:50 PM
We look to spiritual literature and science, political leaders and poetry to find meaning in our lives. Some say there is no meaning.
But as we must live here, find the meaning within yourself. Assume there is a personal meaning to your every moment and listen to your own heart, look attentively to every thing and everyone around you. Create your own religion of one. Or more precisely, Discover it.
The entire creation is telling you something. What? Let your own intuition help you put it together. Sit and listen carefully.
You won't get it right. But you will get it better with practice. When you look at an ink blot, it means something. What does it say to you? What it means comes from within you.
Listen, test it out. Learn to let your vaque understanding form into your best available understanding. Let your own projection reveal its biases and its basis. Trek through the jungle towards that light within you. If you need to look at a holy book, an inkblot, a hillside, a sunset, or your own heart, it is all the same. What you come back with is within you.
Assume the entire creation is alive, conscious, and speaking to you. Let that be your faith. Then every book is a holy book, if you understand what it means to you. Only you can write that interpretation. It won't be perfect. But it will contain truth in it.
Because whatever is in you, that you are not integrated with, is speaking to you in every misunderstanding, every frustration, every blank page, and every page of scripture. Learn to look and listen better, in pure faith that while the Bible and the Granth and Catcher In The Rye, and today's news may be questionable, the one in your heart is all you, without question, but hoping you will question, not to dismiss, but to investigate.
When people question without any serious interest to investigate and get to the bottom within themselves, they aren't actually questioning. They are justifying their static lack of progress.
But we are all connected to this creation, and that living conscious and unconscious truth is along with you as you as you read its pages, hear its song.
Let that be your conviction and faith. That what you don't see is there and that you don't fully grasp it. And pursue it. And what you do see can be interpreted from your own inner unconscious intuition, who is always interested in being heard, and understood better today, by looking and seeing and hearing better, than yesterday.
Posted by: Spence Tepper | August 20, 2020 at 04:13 AM