"Don't know" is a great thing to keep in mind

All of us are prone to making mistakes with our minds. That comes with being human. Nobody sees reality as it is, because there's no way to tell what as it is means, since every conscious being views the world through their own set of perception filters.

But there's ways to come closer to the truth about reality.

Basically, we need to accept true things as being true. Like global warming, gravity, and the honking of geese.

And we need to to accept false things as being false. Like Donald Trump's claim that he didn't want the Ukraine president to announce an investigation into a political rival in exchange for getting military aid and a White House visit.

In between the poles of true and false there's something else: don't know. 

I love those two words. I wish everybody on Earth adored them also. If they did, the world would be filled with much less dogmatism, holier-than-thou self-righteousness, and rigidity.

Don't know is ubiquitous, because few things (maybe zero things) can be known with 100% certainty. This is the way of science, and of wise everyday life. 

We can be highly confident that something is true or false, but there's always at least a tiny bit of don't know lurking in the shadows. Facts might pop up that would change our point of view, where "our" encompasses both an individual's ideas and an entire culture's way of looking at the world.

Today I listened to a guided meditation by Jeff Warren on my Calm iPhone app that focused on the benefits of embracing don't know.

It's a great thing to keep in mind during a meditation session, because those words lead us toward a sense of openness, or beginner's mind. 

Of course, most religious people hate don't know, because they wrongly believe that they know. About God. About heaven. About life after death. About divine messengers.

They do their best to cover up their truthful lack of knowing with false certainty in a holy book or holy person. Not surprisingly, this leaves them less likely to actually know, since a feeling of don't know is what impels us to learn, explore, try new things.

Don't know also is an aid to peace of mind.

After all, most of us find ourselves worrying about unwelcome possibilities that often don't come to pass, or if they do, aren't as bad as we thought they'd be. So telling ourselves, don't know, can be comforting. Rather than being sure a dental appointment, for example, will be dreadful, we can truthfully say, don't know. 

Which doesn't mean that things will turn out fine. Often, they don't. But it's better to be disturbed by a nasty present-moment reality, than by worries that precede that reality by hours, days, weeks, months, or even years. 

And usually we don't know how long a bad situation will last, even though our anxious mind may be thinking, it will never end. 

If you want to know more about how Jeff Warren looks upon don't know, there's a 41-minute talk on this subject on his web site. I just came across it, so haven't listened to the talk yet. I'm confident that the talk contains a lot of wisdom.

But I don't know for sure.

 

 

Comments

[Jesse]

Global warming and Trump. Yikes.

If there were two things where don't know applies most, those might be the best examples.

But, ok boomer.

[Sonia]

This is a good perspective to have. After all, everything in this world is based on perception. We all filter and project things according to our individual experiences, beliefs, prejudices, etc.

What is real? “I don’t know” is a good place holder. It gives you time to question what you believed to be true and either reconfirm your belief or explore alternative answers.

Beware Blind Believers.

[Ram Jaani]

"I don't know" is okay but what about thie things I DO know like these:

these are the facts. none of these facts can be denied
previous guru appointed Gurinder as guru
Nimmi is daughter of Charan
you would expect Gurinder to respect Nimmi
Malav & Shiv are the sons of Nimmi
Out of respect for Charan, Gurinder must look after his grandsons
if not look after, at least not go against them.
these are also facts
Maliv and Shiv made Dhillon family into billionaires overnight
Gurinder admits this was a free gift.
now this is the biggest question
not a court verdict
does Gurinder have any gratitude towards the two brothers who gave such a big gift?
if someone gave me a gift like that, I would be grateful all my life
when they needed his help, he left them high and dry
but one thing he forgot
if they go down, he goes down too
Malvinder is saying truth now because he has already lost his billions
Gurinder has no morals. As head of the family he should have helped the two
brothers who made him into billionaire.
Instead he fights with them makes threats.
Gurinder cannot be a saint
why?
because he is not even a nice person
he might be able to buy his way out of the court allegations
but everyone can see who he is now
when he says "how do you know I am not a fraud?"
now the answer is clear. He is a fraud
a good person would have helped Malav and Shiv when they needed money
to stop bank taking their shares
but he turned away at that important time. big mistake
the singh brothers made him into billionaire and they need help
he shows his true colours
he refuses to help them. no morals. just greed. very bad
how can he be a true guru?
yes he talks on stage, big words.
but he doesn't walk the talk as the saying goes, he only talks.

[Sonia]

Ram,

That’s a very good point—Gratitude. And accepting gifts seems to be a newish thing for RS philosophy. For one who believes in the law of karma I guess... ?? Not clear on the rational behind that one. If you can accept gifts then you can give gifts. And if you can accept forgiveness then you can give forgiveness. Karma and “gifting” have some sort of weird relationship. That whole thing about “if a seed from a farmer’s field blows into yours then you own him for that...”. That was poorly paraphrased but I think you know what I mean.

[Alexander Black]

As an initiate of Gurinder Singh it breaks my heart how he has lost the moral high ground by getting so deeply involved with the Singh brothers’ illegal and criminal financial dealings.

As Satsangis we seek to find the spiritual truth by practicing meditation every day. Isn’t it equally important to seek the truth of our guru’s character and moral conducts? If the guru is not aligned with the truth how can he be true?

A spiritual guru should be the epitome of truth and the unshakable example how to conduct ourselves in life and on the spiritual path.

Before their initiation seekers must spend a year in probation. They test themselves to make sure that they can follow the dietary requirements as well as the high moral standards that the teachings prescribe. This meant to be series business and a lifetime commitment.

Baba Ji is not only the RSSB master but he is also a disciple of his master, Charan Singh. As a disciple he made the same commitment to stay true to the teachings as we did.

There is sufficient proof of Baba Ji's shady financial dealings for those who bother to investigate. The Indian public records speak for themselves.

Let’s presume that Baba Ji was given the 61,83,013 shares of Religare Enterprises as a gift by the Singh brothers. Isn’t the teachings of RSSB recommend not to accept favours or gifts? According to the teachings favours and gifts create further karmic debts that bind us to this creation and make us spiritually bankrupt.

In Baba Ji’s and his family’s case we talking about millions of dollars worth “gifts” or perhaps "loans" - we don't know which, because there was only a verbal agreement between the parties involved. The high moral standards of the RSSB teachings clearly do not apply to Baba Ji, the “true” guru.

At a question and answer session a woman sitting in a wheel chair came to the microphone. She was hoping to get some sympathy from master regarding her condition. She explained to Baba Ji how hard life was for her in a wheel chair and if it wasn't for her friends who bought her ticket to India, she would not be here. Baba Ji told her that in India people with total paralysis paint with their mouth to make a living and he suggested the questioner that once she returned home she should get a job and repay her friends for the ticket to India.

So a ticket to India must be repaid, says Baba Ji, but USD1.25 million borrowed by him from filmmaker Sheetal Talwar must be forgotten.

We soon lose faith and respect for those leaders who do not walk the talk.
By keeping our guru on the pedestal no matter what, we give up our power of discrimination.

[Sonia]

Hi Brian,

My husband sent me a link to this Ted Talk after I commented on your post this morning. It is possibly the best Ted Talk I’ve ever seen and I say that because it’s applicable to everything we think and do on a daily basis.

Really wanted to share this because the speaker, Lori Gottlieb, suggests we need to get to “unknow ourselves” and explains why it’s good exercise.

I particularly loved a few things she threw out; ultracrepidarianism, “help-rejecting complainers”, and how we put ourselves in “jail cells” where we stand at the bars on one side without realizing the other three sides are open.

The unknow yourself part is what struck me most.

It’s 16 minutes. Hope you can find the time! https://youtu.be/O_MQr4lHm0c

[Ram Jaani]

the gaddi is a big gift, he can never repay.
but he pays by turning his back on Maharaj Charan Singh's grandsons.

If anyone has grandchildren you will know how much you love them.
Surely Gurinder owes Maharaj Charan Singh that much - to love his grandchildren.
But he has made an enemy of them.
This is too much.
then part 2 is that they have given him a gift of billions.
And he says on stage "I owe nobody anything , except parents"

what about gratitude towards Maharaj Charan Singh Ji and also the
two people who gave him billions

Does he think he achieved all that by himself?
He thinks he is above the law
but is he above gratitude too?
People who have no gratitude are full of pride and one day will
fall down big time and nobody will help.
Hope he learns before then and apologizes to singh brothers and
returns billions to them. That is correct thing to do

[Turan]

Not knowing is, for us, a scary thing. Perhaps this is why we cover up this fear by converting what we perceive into a concept. Forming concepts happens almost instantaneously. To believe that we know or understand something enables a certain security.

There are of course differences in how (for example) we perceive the natural world about us, but generally, through our senses we all perceive trees as trees, mountains as mountains, streams, rivers, flowers, seas etc. etc. That is unless we conceptualise what we are experiencing. We may then attribute natural happenings, to mysterious forces or to some idea of good or bad thereby experiencing not what is before us but what we think (or believe) is there.

This believing what we think seems to be the main cause of much of our conflicts – whether collectively or individually. We are quick to name something and consequently feel we understand it, but all we have understood is the mind-made description.

Conceptualising is a great tool in practical applications but where we use it (or it uses us!) to maintain our insecure self-structures the results are often confusion and conflict.

To say 'I don't know' when practical issues arise gives us the capacity to address problems. To say 'I don't know' when presented with with the immensities of life and the universe is liberating.

[Sonia]

Hi Turan,

That was somewhat mysteriously well put... you’re comment left me sort of 🧐. More food for thought.

[Anon]

'Dont know' is ignorance. Our limitation. We humans are not as clever as we think we are.

[Spence Tepper]

Once you go down the path of acknowledging what you don't know, the path widens and lengthens, expands into the whole world.

We have experience of things. We try to acknowledge what seem to be stable rules humans make to describe the world. But what do we really know? Maybe just beliefs on a firmer foundation of understanding. An understanding that grows as we gather more information and experience.

We know nothing. We believe much. But even those beliefs benefit from a good airing out, and revision as we develop.

'I don't know' is a start.
But 'I'm wrong about that' is the vehicle to get you there.

Once you realize 'I' is just a narrative construction our minds create, then 'I'm wrong about that' becomes another simple piece of information without any other implications, except that we are learning.

[Ram Jaani]

Reply to Alexander:

There is a reason it was a verbal agreement.
you cannot write out what will get you into trouble later. They were jointly committing fraud
and it cannot be written it has to be trust.
And like drug dealers and robbers things will eventually go wrong.
then each man is for himself and nobody cares for the others.

while making money they were best friends but then singh brothers got into trouble.
they asked his help because they helped him be a billionaire.

he said its not his job to help them. once he knew they will lose all their shares he should have helped if he considered them family ot even friends.
but he turned away and left them to lose everything.
just see how malvinder is begging him to help in his letter.

he even warns him that if they lose the shares, they will all be in trouble because their fraud will come to light,

still gurinder doesnt help. biggest mistake of his life. all his big troubles started after that because when investigating malvinder, the dhillons cannot escape as they were part of the fraud scheme and they have the money,

he manages to make excuse to not attend court. surprisingly the judge accepts.
can only be because he paid someone off. money buys favours.

then his wife mysteriously dies in a routine operation. how is it possible?
too much of co-incidence. something is fishy.
nobody just dies like that and just when the court it catching up.
either she is not dead or it was done on purpose. not sure which but too much of a coincidence that she dies in the UK in a minor operation

call me suspicious but its very very fishy

[Jen]

Unknowingness...

You are not your thoughts.
You are the presence of awareness that perceives them.
All else is a dream of mind.

...............

Notice that every sensation and perception
is nothing but a reminder that you are here,
that you are now,
and that you are the invisible selfless presence
which enables all of this to be.

Zen Thinking

[Dungeness]

To say 'I don't know' when practical issues arise gives us the capacity to address problems. To say 'I don't know' when presented with with the immensities of life and the universe is liberating.

I agree mindfulness will expose shallow belief and
free you to admit "I don't know". It's an important
step. But it can masquerade as wisdom when the
answer is available with a deeper, more sustained
peep inward.

How many times do we cry "Why did I do that" or
"what the hell just happened". Our mind answers
immediately "dunno" or panics in a mad dash
for quick fixes instead of examining itself.

In fact, the mind can provide answers but it's been
so busy conjuring up useless thoughts and images,
it's gotten lost in the fog of distraction. Ask for an
explanation, it will repeat "dunno" and is already
down the rabbit-hole to its next thought.

[Ram Jaani Kachu Naahi]

then his wife mysteriously dies in a routine operation. how is it possible?

either she is not dead or it was done on purpose. not sure which but too much of a coincidence that she dies in the UK in a minor operation

call me suspicious but its very very fishy

Posted by: Ram Jaani | December 03, 2019 at 02:35 PM

Cancer. Heard of this? Millions die of this each year despite best treatments.

Call you suspicious? No. Lunatic is most appropriate.

[tucson]

I'm on topic:

Blogger writes in quotes: "Basically, we need to accept true things as being true. Like global warming, gravity, and the honking of geese."

--We're in a warming cycle but this does not portend doom due to man-made carbon dioxide:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA3OA_2S4QY -- one of many videos with similar opinions.

This doesn't mean we shouldn't try to clean up our act. Let's just not shut down the country's economy while the Chinese go on their merry way with dirty coal fired industries and undercut us with goods cheaper than we can produce due to radical energy restrictions based on highly debatable science. It's a political power grab. A ploy. If Obama really thought sea levels would rise, why did he buy a $15 million beach property in the Hamptons?

Blogger writes in quotes: "And we need to accept false things as being false. Like Donald Trump's claim that he didn't want the Ukraine president to announce an investigation into a political rival in exchange for getting military aid and a White House visit."

--There is no proof that was Trump's intent and, even if it was, that it is an impeachable offense. It is the President's right to initiate an investigation into the corruption of Biden, while Vice President, and his son with a Chinese petroleum company. That looks like real tit for tat to me. Anyway, this is how business is done with foreign governments. Obama paid off Iran, so they wouldn't try to blow up Israel, with $150 billion in cash flown in to them in suitcases. Obama whispers to Putin he will have more freedom after the election. The media gave him a pass. They always did. They loved him. He was oh so progressive. So hip. So cool. (Such a deceiver) Since it was Obama, the Iran thing was no big deal and forgotten quickly.

Some people just hate Trump. They don't like his style, his persona, his boorishness or anything about him. His orange skin. Racist! Racist! Homophope, xenophobe, thisaphobe, thataphobe. White supremacist! Misogynist! Putin's minaret! They still can't believe he won the election. How could he? Deranged elitist haters just can't, even after three years, accept that 63 million Americans actually like Trump and voted him in. "They're just a bunch of deplorable butt crack showing ignorant WalMart shoppers". Right? The elitist media wants to overturn the will of the people they don't-can't understand.

Let's get off this impeachment BS and get on with real issues. This is counterproductive for everyone. Don't like Trump? Vote him out in 336 days and quit whining. It won't do any good.

[Ram Jaani]

RJKN
there is no reference to cancer.
all sources say gastric problems

here is a report - no mention of cancer.
but they say she was summoned to court

many are suspicious but nobody says it

[um]

@ Alexander
>>Before their initiation seekers must spend a year in probation. They test themselves to make sure that they can follow the dietary requirements as well as the high moral standards that the teachings prescribe. This meant to be series business and a lifetime commitment. >At a question and answer session a woman sitting in a wheel chair came to the microphone. She was hoping to get some sympathy from master regarding her condition. She explained to Baba Ji how hard life was for her in a wheel chair and if it wasn't for her friends who bought her ticket to India, she would not be here. Baba Ji told her that in India people with total paralysis paint with their mouth to make a living and he suggested the questioner that once she returned home she should get a job and repay her friends for the ticket to India. <<

If you would go through the tapes, books of previous teachers there, You would find, that THIS is the normal way to react. It is their role a a teacher to show the different ways one can take in reaction to the facts of life …. it is not his task to console anybody…. he is a teacher.

Yes it is the task of parents with a glas in their hands and a sigaret in their mouth to tll the children not to smoke and indulge in alcohol and no child can or should use the behaviour of the parent as an excuse to do the same or not to act on the advice.

If advices are only usefull etc when given by PERFECT people than we are in trouble.

YOU and only YOU are responsible for YOUR actions thoughts etc and you can never outsource them on others … NOT EVEN... if he is seen or presents himself as master, teacher, or god himself.

[Spence Tepper]

Hi Um
You wrote
"Yes it is a lifetime commitment that YOU and only YOU took on YOUR shoulders.

" So whatever happens you have to live up to it unless you want things outside yourself as an excuse for not living up to that commitment.

"The guru is not and can not be responsible for YOUR vows.

" His uncle would state time and again that sticking to these vows is taking YOURSELF serious."

Hi Um
The woman is living the vows. Where does it say she isn't?

A true Sant Sat Guru takes on their own shoulders 100% responsibility for every word you ever uttered, every deed you ever committed and all of your Karma. 100% of it. No excuses.

You have a role to play, it's a partnership. But they are in the lead whether you know or understand it or not. You cannot gain salvation by your efforts at all. There is nothing you can do. Zero. Zed to add to your liberation. You can sow seeds of good Karma, and bad Karma. But you can do nothing on your own to gain salvation that wasn't planted in you before you were born.

Your take on our duty to do everything we can, to stand on our own two feet is absolutely true. No excuses for us. But the Master is absolutely responsible for this. No excuses for him either. In this latter part, suggesting he had no responsibility, you are wrong. At least for a true Sant Sat Guru. All historical writings attest to this.

The air tickets were a gift, not a loan. So why should this handicapped woman bound to a wheel chair fall under a heavier responsibility than a Guru? Not a true guru.

Or, we are not getting a full account of what was said and what happened. So you are defending what may be a biased account.

A true Guru would have reminded the woman that both the wheel chair and her loving friends are all blessings. They brought her to spirituality. And she is doing a fabulous job burning the trash of Karma, keep going!! And not oblige her to do anything else but simply get through her life with her devotions, her meditation practice, and the vows, to the extent she can. Master is responsible for all the rest. A true Master that is. They are not afraid of shouldering responsibility. They are role models of doing so. It is no significant burden for them. It is an act of love. It IS their primary and sole function: Liberate souls, return them home.

When Christ argued successfully against the mob, freed the adultress about to be stoned to death, and told her to go and sin no more he didn't put any more burdens on her. He lifted them. He freed her. Right then and there.

I cannot speak for Baba Ji.
But the Baba Ji in this story is not a real Sant Sat Guru.

[Um]

@ Spence

Every role people can play is part of what I happen to call a "game"
In a game every act is described for all that participate in that game.

Sant Mat is a game too.
What you describe of the duties of a master towards an initiate are core issues of this path and can be known to all.

The game is ample described in the parabel of the owner ordering the shepherd to bring certain sheep home and not to loose even one on the way home. The shepherd can use whatever means he deems suitable, even dogs as he loved to stress now and then.
The shepherd is only accountable to the owner!! An sheep are well advise to walk behind him and not the be dragged along. The sheep have nothing to say.

So far so good

You write:
>> Your take on our duty to do everything we can, to stand on our own two feet is absolutely true. No excuses for us. But the Master is absolutely responsible for this. No excuses for him either. In this latter part, suggesting he had no responsibility, you are wrong. At least for a true Sant Sat Guru. All historical writings attest to this. <<

First, I didn't write or inteded to write anything on the lady, keeping her vows. I am not interested nor is it my duty to sit in judgement of who does what.

Second, whatever i write is related to everybody doing his duty. Against the background of the tale everybosy can easely make up his mind that part of the dutie of the sheep is not to correct the shepherd.

As said before and again, you feel it is your duty and many with you feel that its is part of their discipleship to judge the teacher, positive or negative, in relation to the performance of their own duties …..

Let it be clear … that this has nothing to do with what I do in my day to day life with these teachhings … NOTHING at all …. and certainly I am neither defending the teaching nor the teacher … what I write here everybody, even not satsangis can write down haing studied this path as it is expressed in books and tapes etc.

Do not outsource personal responsibilities and or use the behaviour of another person as an excuse, whoever he is and seeing that others do their share can never be an excuse also.

How can a sheep show the way to a shepherd???

[Dungeness]

Baba Ji told her that in India people with total paralysis paint with their mouth to make a living and he suggested the questioner that once she returned home she should get a job and repay her friends for the ticket to India.

--Or, we are not getting a full account of what was said and what happened.

I agree. Without a transcript, there mighta been some Trumpian-style
memory at play. So "should get a job..." was inferred and inserted.
Or the "could get" became "should get".

So, an answer meant to encourage and stress empowerment turns
into a mean rebuke. Put your faith in the transcript, not the summary.

[Spence Tepper]

Hi Um
You are writing in principle about the role of the Guru and trying to explain, in principle, why there might be justification for such actions.

But it is conjecture.

Whether a true Shephard is leading his or her flock, with whistle and staff, or whether a thief in shephard's clothing is fleecing the same flock are both very real possibilities.

The same knife that, in a surgeons hands saves lives, in the hands of an imposter, posing as a surgeon, does great harm.

Are you trusting your feelings to know the difference?

So did all the followers of dozens of false Gurus.

The Saints are easy to find, when you are ready. They carry no worldly authority at all. They are not in a job attractive to impostors. What they do no imposter would ever want to do. They don't need advertising or organizations of any kind. The entire creation belongs to them.

[um]

@ spence

The script of the path of the saints offers solutions for all problems that might arise partaking in the game, walking that path.

Those who ar not content with these solutions will find themselves soon beside of the path, some will be stuck there, others go their own way.

The script says that one has to start the walk in faith. The truth of what one accepts in faith can only be found in walking that path whatever happens and in the end. Even if one follows an false shephard in faith, the script says that everything will be allright.

Fot better and worse is the vow in marriage ...when frustrations come 2 in 5 ask for an divorce.
Do the other 3 have no frustrations?? I don't think so … they too do but deal with the frustrations in a different way and eventually these frustrations go away like dark clouds do.