Belonging is what we long for

I'm not religious now. But I used to be. 

What turned me off about religions was how divisive they often are. Each religion has its own theology, its own rituals, its own moral codes. 

I got tired of feeling special. I got tired of feeling different. My spiritual quest now is to find common ground, to come to grips with whatever universal human yearning leads people to seek solace in religions.

Today I started reading a book about how psychedelic entheogens -- psilocybin, peyote, mescaline, LSD, and I'd add marijuana in a sense -- can produce a sense of divinity that is common to other varieties of mystical experiences.

The second chapter of Entheogens and the Future of Religion featured a transcript of an extemporaneous talk by Brother David Steindl-Rast that he gave at a 1984 gathering of scientists and religious thinkers at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California.

I liked how Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, spoke of belonging as being what we all long for. Sure, as you can read in the passages below, he gives the term "God" to that to which we absolutely belong. 

Since I'm an atheist, I prefer "cosmos," "universe," or "world." But what's important isn't the word used to describe what we long to belong to, because there's no end to those words.

Family. Neighborhood. Friends. Nation. Lover. Humanity. Planet. Ecosystem. Life.

So many words, all pointing to a sense of belonging, of connectivity, of interrelationship. There aren't any bounds to belonging, because we can feel that we belong to all kinds of entities, with "God" being a traditional way of expressing the grandest sense of belonging (though again, cosmos or existence is equally grand).

Here's what Steindl-Rast says about belonging in his talk.

I thought I would briefly sketch how I see the relationship between spirituality and religion and theology -- all terms that have been tossed around here. In my understanding of it, and from the particular perspective from which I come to it, it all starts with our mystical experience.

This is one point where I would question how John Perry meant his statement. I wrote it down and tried to capture it verbatim: "It is impossible to convince the general public that there is such a reality as a mystical experience."

Now I question that.

I have had the opportunity to address all kinds of "general public." Some of them were most unlikely to be convinced offhand that there is such a thing as a mystical experience, let alone that they themselves had one. But I have never come across a group in which the majority could not be led to realize that they had had a mystical experience.

In fact, I am convinced that our typical awareness as humans, our human consciousness, is based on the mystical experience, i.e., the experience that we unconditionally belong. This is my way of expressing the essence of a mystical experience: an overwhelming sense of unconditional belonging. 

I would be very interested in hearing how some of you express the same thing from different perspectives.

I always try to speak about it in common human language, in terms that anybody can understand. First, I get people settled and willing to listen, willing to look at themselves. 

Then I ask them, "Does it make sense to you that before you are aware of anything else, you have a sense of belonging? Not necessarily before in time, but ontologically. Is that sense of belonging not the basis of your awareness that you are and who you are? 

Almost everyone says "Yes." That is enough for me.

...In some respects it is easier to speak about these things without using the term "God." It lends itself to too many misunderstandings. But if we want to use it as a kind of shortcut, it is in the context of our mystical awareness that "God" comes in.

For anyone who uses that term "God" will agree: God is the one to whom we absolutely belong. We are back at that sense of belonging. 

Before you fill this notion of God with anything else, you can say, those who use the term "God" correctly mean by it the reference point of our sense of belonging. But with this sense of belonging goes a sense of longing. Check that out against your own experience.

Here this whole thing comes in motion. This is something I cannot explain further. It is an experiential fact. We long for that to which we most deeply belong. Poets have expressed this very beautifully. T.S. Eliot says:

We shall not cease from exploration
and the end of all our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and knew the place for the first time.

That is Home. Home is where one starts from. This tension of belonging and longing constitutes the dynamism of our inner quest.

Comments

[Sonia]

This is a truly beautiful blog post. I concur 100%. It’s a sense of connectedness that we all long for. Some have had bad experiences in relationships with either, friends, family, God or lovers and find it simply less painful be alone. But then there’s loneliness and all the miserable stuff that goes along with that. Although, there are people who can spend an inordinate time by themselves communicating with nature or their god and not feel lonely. But that’s the exception.

I really enjoyed reading this post. I agree completely. Sometimes I think narcissists are actually deep down just very lonely and haven’t developed a very healthy sense of self.

It takes a village... that hasn’t changed.

[A Wise 🦉]

Brian Hines : "Poets have expressed this very beautifully. T.S. Eliot says:

We shall not cease from exploration
and the end of all our exploring
will be to arrive where we started
and knew the place for the first time.

That is home"

Me: And the mystics even more beautifully; in just one line

धाम अपने चलो भाई। पराये देश क्यों रहना।।
(Dhaam apne chalo bhai, Paraye desh Kyun rahena)
i.e.

Come, My Friend, To Your True Home. Why Linger in this Alien Land.

[Meditator]

Surely I am not the body . Neither I belong to thought process running endlessly in me.

Then what.

This question has no answers in Science but in mysticism.

[tucson]

For once I agree with the blogger.

What we are looking for is where we look from.

It is the looking.

I know, those are just words, but just be that. Don't attach words to it. Just be present.

And God is right there.

It is immediate.

And politics will evaporate in a quiet mist.

[Vijay]

Brian says
“Today I started reading a book about how psychedelic entheogens -- psilocybin, peyote, mescaline, LSD, and I'd add marijuana in a sense -- can produce a sense of divinity that is common to other varieties of mystical experiences”

This is true. I have experienced DMT and the realization you get is not one that can be explained. Totally in line with the mystical experiences every inner path talks about.
The reason for this is substances like these take you to the brink of death and then back. So essentially your experiencing death of the self...death of the ego. Same thing can be achieved through meditation. Dedicated steady meditation.

[Jen]

"Although, there are people who can spend an inordinate time by themselves communicating with nature or their god and not feel lonely."

I never feel lonely. I love my aloneness. Yes, nature, trees, birds and animals, especially friendly dogs are my companions. As long as my health continues to be okay this is the life for me. Been watching comedians on YouTube making me laugh and chuckle, what could be better than this.

Yesterday binged on Billy Connolly stand up comedy on youtube. Unfortunately he now has Parkinson's, so thats life, the good the bad and the ugly...

[Sonia]

Jen,

You’re blessed. Sounds perfect.

This Christmas Eve was the weirdest ever. My husband said next year we’re going (just the two of us) to the Bahamas in hurricane season to get away from having to go through another Christmas like this. 😂 Everyone has suddenly grown up, moved away and started their own families. Hard to get people together and when we do all they want to talk about is baby stuff or church (that was how it went down tonight). Which is fine but I’m totally at a loss there...

Anyway, it’s a great time of year to enjoy having some time off work or freedom from obligations so that you can do whatever you want. So, your lucky... 🥳

[Jim Sutherland]

This is the first Christmas in the last 40 years that we have not had one or more cats in our house to snuggle up with. I had to help my last Cat cross over to the Rainbow Bridge, Jan. 2, 2019, and still miss him terribly , especially during Holidays. If any one has never known what REAL Love feels like, not human lust,....then I suggest adopting either a Dog or a Cat, and committing to take good care of it, until death, feed it, water it, keep it clean, and in your home, and watch and FEEL its unconditional Love for you, growing every year as it bonds to you, depending on you to take care of it, and fix every need it has,.....UNTIL,......that sad day arrives, when you can no longer watch it suffer, and are compelled to have to put your loving Friend out of its miseries! Only those who have bonded with their Cats & and Dogs, and have put them down, will know what it feels like to execute one that has loved you the most, ...unconditionally. 😰. Perhaps that is what Gurinder Singh has been doing to those who love him? I.e., EXECUTING them,.....by putting them out of their miseries?
Jim S.

[Whodunit]

Off with the sentiment
Sever the attachment

Seeking to bond to what?

Every attachment is given to you to frame your mind to someone who is not going to be able to bring you back to your equilibrium. When it's check out time is not the time you want these people to hold you back.

Not spouse nor children nor pets nor lovers. Every love we ever know will not be there for a commitment to you when you are ready to be gone.

That's when you know that you are on your own.

[Sonia]

God is in everyone. Why does RSSB teach detachment from God?

[Sonia]

“Equilibrium of love” does not exist. It’s contradictory.

[Arjuna]

@ jim

Do you think he is a demiurge? With all this land lust

[Whodunit]

You will go to where your attachments are, simple.
That's why you are where you are now
And where you want to be when you are heading out
We make our own bonds and choose our own circumstance
Through the attachment we hold most tightly to through love or any other strong emotion that ties to our unfinished business

[Sonia]

Whodunit,

OK, so I have always found this very interesting when it comes to the law of attraction. Who has the most power in “attachment situations”?

Say for example, what if you’re attached to someone but they are attached to someone/something else? What determines who will have the stronger pull?

[Jim Sutherland]

Arjuna asks,......” @ jim

Do you think he is a demiurge? With all this land lust

Posted by: Arjuna | December 25, 2019 at 12:06 PM”

Me: I think he is the CEO of RSSB, or the Family Business man that inherited a Spiritual Ashram, and got a taste of power, liked it, and tried to use his business skills to convert the Ashram into a Business, expand the land and buildings , which none of his Predecessors would have done. I don’t think he is any where powerful enough to be a demiurge. I think he has been unwrapped adequately, right here on CoC, and as Lane used to say, “ The Curtain has been pulled, and Toto has been revealed.”
Are you still watching my back, Soldier, as you promised?”
Jim S.

[Jim Sutherland]

Whodunit writes,........” Not spouse nor children nor pets nor lovers. Every love we ever know will not be there for a commitment to you when you are ready to be gone.

That's when you know that you are on your own.”

Me: That might be so, when we know we are on the verge of going. But until then, while we are still here, why should we become unemotional soulless Zombies? Do you think Gurinder and his two sons felt unattached as they looked at Shabnam’s face for the knowingly, very last time, as she would be, in that body, just before they lit the torch to set her on fire? Now she is gone, and I’ll bet they are STILL attached, including Gurinder. If they are nor still grieving, they are no longer humans. They are Zombies.
Jim S.

[Sonia]

I think I may have just found the answer on the World Wide Web:

“The way the law of attraction works is simple: Likes attract likes. A vibration will attract a similar vibration. The closer the vibrational match, the stronger the magnetic pull. Whatever frequency that you put out is being pulled back towards you, or is attracted to you.”

I guess the real question we have to ask ourselves is what frequency are we putting out? 🤔

[Jen]

My strongest attachments are to my three sons. Yesterday (Xmas day for us in the land of Oz) had an argument with my son and its all because it takes a lifetime to let go especially with someone who is so special. Anyway when I said to him that I will try to be more detached, because I do fuss a bit, he surprised me by saying 'thats good Mum'.

So imo because I am old now and thinking about life after death and in a way kinda preparing myself, I think detachment is important and a sense of not belonging or clinging to beliefs and preparing to let go and be ready but also at the same time enjoying the present moment with loved ones. Its a balancing act.

[Sonia]

Jen,

I agree. I’m not old really... I keep saying I’m almost 50 but really I’m just 47 (so young lol). But life feels old—like everyone around me is moving on and it would be a lot less painful if I could learn to detach. I’m going to work on that. Maybe I’ll go to the Shambhala Center. I used to go to the one in Boulder when I lived there. It was the original center—really cool and my first introduction to meditation.

2020 - the year of detachment! 🤞

You are blessed to have three kids!!! Sound like kind boys too. :)

[Jesse]

"When it's check out time is not the time you want these people to hold you back."

Many beliefs about the afterlife have come and gone. Don't be so sure that you're right.

Because of your egotistical confidence in rs yoga's radical (and selective) individuality, you may be rejecting all the people who you need to carry you to the next stage. You could you know, end up riding a boat into hell because of this.

[Whodunit]

Jim S
Mikhail Naimy in the Book of Mirdad put it like this
"we live that we may learn to love, and we love that we may learn to live, no other lesson is required of man."

That's probably the crux and be all and end all of the entire shenanigan.

Every discussion about God or Love is only a meager reflection of the reality of its individual intensity.

[Sonia]

Now she is gone, and I’ll bet they are STILL attached, including Gurinder. If they are nor still grieving, they are no longer humans. They are Zombies.
Jim S.

Posted by: Jim Sutherland | December 25, 2019 at 02:56 PM

I’m pretty sure they’re still grieving. Sometimes stoicism is a tool people use to protect themselves. She was very young—56 is still pretty young. And it’s tough to lose a mother or life partner anytime but especially when they theoretically should have had many years ahead. And dying just before the holidays... 😔

[Sonia]

I can’t imagine losing my husband. He’s the only person that has never left me... I mean he’s truly there through thick and thin. After just 18 years of marriage, when he’s not around for a few days it feels so weird. We’re like an old married couple though... not all goofy in love, just comfortable—like your favorite chair. 😁 We’re more friends than anything else and someone who knows all your faults and loves you anyway is irreplaceable. He’s the only stabilizing factor in my life. I guess because we are total opposites we balance each other out.

I totally understand your attachments to your cats and feel the pain. What gives me hope sometimes is watching videos of people who rescue animals. And videos of animals saving or befriending animals of a different species—sometimes even animals that would be normally natural predators to the ones the adopt. Animals show us love is universal.

[Whodunit]

Attachment is attachment, love is love.
Sometimes they're intertwined and sometimes not.

Ultimately we get to let go of each other, hopefully for love's sake, otherwise we go to where the stronger love will pull the other.

[Georgy Porgy]

Different ppl in this world.

Arrived in Berlin late on Xmas eve around midnight in a shitty area. Drew some money at a cashpoint. Nerdy looking girl in glasses bent over a homeless guy passed out, feeding the guy’s dog some cheese off a toasted sandwich and checking the guy is okay. She just goes about her duties quietly unnoticed on her own - what possesses some ppl?

Now that is saintly behavior in plain sight, bet noone ever notices.

Where does that urge and behavior come from - evolution by natural selection don’t cut it.

[Sonia]

“Those who are to meet will meet, because together they have the potential for a holy relationship.”

[Whodunit]

It's called love, everything and everyone has it, in fact everything and everyone are essentially it, only the guises and covers are different throughout the world of evolution by natural selection.

It's explicitly explained by mysticism how it all comes to exist and how the entire universe functions, but humans like to complicate it by reaction from a limited perspective and then they go so far to even deny their own inherent nature exists.

[Whodunit]

https://youtu.be/zyr4qORDu2A

"We are star dust we are golden
We are billion year old carbon
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden"

I believe Joni Mitchell sang that,
CSNY sang it as the anthem for Woodstock.

Perhaps she had a hunch that they're starting to prove scientifically.

[Georgy Porgy]

Yep no doubt that is the way the pinnacle of human nature should be. Pretty rare thing tho I reckon.

Yep we are multi-billion y/o stardust. Two things I don’t get tho:
1) that’s an awful long time to brew up a recipe for things like human beings to develop to a state where they capable of realizing where they come from.
2) as for woodstock, they say uncle bob D was a genius, but I don’t get any of it.
“How many years can a mountain exist/ Before it is washed to the sea?”

I mean come on.

[Sonia]

Wow. 🤯 I just watched that link on Tom Chi’s talk, ‘Everything is Connected - Here’s How’. I’ve seen one of his talks before but it didn’t have the consciousness piece in it. That was amazing. I could watch it 20 more times if I had the time. I probably will eventually...

[Sonia]

It's explicitly explained by mysticism how it all comes to exist and how the entire universe functions, but humans like to complicate it by reaction from a limited perspective and then they go so far to even deny their own inherent nature exists.

Posted by: Whodunit | December 26, 2019 at 07:54 AM

Yes, but there’s not a single person that can explain why we’re here in a way that makes any sense from a spiritual perspective. Obviously I do believe in a higher power/God/Love but the reason for the separation will ALWAYS remain a mystery.

[Ron Krumpos]

"Can you believe in a personal God and be a mystic?” Most of them do. “Can you be an atheist and a mystic?” A few are. God is the supreme concept of that essence which is God beyond God.
“God is a concept and not a reality?” God is as real as you want God to be. The divine essence is Reality, even if you do not believe in God. It is another mystical paradox. “Why can’t it be simple?” It is simple...it simply is. It is our minds which add the complexity.

[Jen]

"Obviously I do believe in a higher power/God/Love but the reason for the separation will ALWAYS remain a mystery."

Are we separate? Isn't every living thing That - higher power/God/Love - experiencing itself in multiple forms...

[Whodunit]

Isn't every living thing That - higher power/God/Love - experiencing itself in multiple forms...
Posted by: Jen | December 27, 2019 at 12:44 PM

Correct

[Sonia]

Yes, but I don’t choose to stick my hand in a fire. I don’t want that experience. So why would he?

[Sonia]

Some mystics would argue that God can not experience pain or sorrow or fear because he doesn’t “know” those things. He can’t know them because they are not part of him and therefore those things are not “real”.

But it’s still confusing.

[Sonia]

Only the ego knows suffering. And the ego is not part of God.

[Steve]

Isn't every living thing That - higher power/God/Love - experiencing itself in multiple forms...
Posted by: Jen | December 27, 2019 at 12:44 PM

Must be the case. What else explains the overwhelming love all around and especially in the human form

Do you think the world would have been a better place that what it is, had we been seperate from God/Love?

[Sonia]

Steve,

I feel like I’m not expressing myself very well today...

Anyway, what I meant was God is real and everything else is unreal. So all pain and sorrow is not God. God is not experiencing pain and sorrow—only our egos experience that when we align with our egos. The ego is separation. The ego is the “unreal”. This isn’t a scientific fact... just imo

[Sonia]

I’m just not convinced that God has some perverse desire to experience suffering. Especially since he didn’t create it.

[Sonia]

Sorry to keep posting so many comments on the same thing. I hate seeing my name multiple times on most recent comments list but I keep having all these after thoughts.

We personify the force that unites us all by using pronouns and names. However, sometimes it’s just easier to say God/He/Him/Her. The idea that God told some dirty to punish souls for all their sins sounds very tribal.

The whole Kaal concept is man made and unfortunately very real because it’s real in the minds of man. But nothing in or below Trikuti was made by “God”.

Again, IMO.

[Sonia]

OK, I found this list of spiritual teachers because I’m “guru shopping”. I just want to get some different perspectives and hopefully meet other teachers so that I can get a gut feel for what works for me.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated. It’s a big world with lots of people trying to connect to something higher than themselves. Mentors and teachers are helpful.

The list I found (didn’t recognize most of the names):
http://enlightened-people.com/top-living-masters/

[Jesse]

"Sorry to keep posting so many comments on the same thing. I hate seeing my name multiple times on most recent comments list but I keep having all these after thoughts."

Trust me Sonia, you're not the only one. I've looked at the recent comments and seen my name in every slot a couple times, and it's kind of embarrassing.

But say what you want, when you want. Nothing wrong with it. That's why god created the internet.

[Sonia]

But say what you want, when you want. Nothing wrong with it. That's why god created the internet.

Posted by: Jesse | December 28, 2019 at 04:31 AM

Thanks, Jesse. 😂