Here's my darkly humorous irreligious 2017 Christmas letter

Old habits die hard. I still write a Christmas letter for my wife and me. Except we call it "Holiday Greetings." 

Below is  the 2017 letter that I wrote last night. Oh, as long as I'm blogging...

I'm not a strong law-and-order guy, so I'm not going to strictly enforce the commenting rule that I talked about in my previous blog post. I simply am hoping that Church of the Churchless commenters will keep preachiness to a minimum, and use the Open Thread for drastically off-topic comment conversations.

Our Christmas letter can be viewed two ways:

PDF: 2017 Laurel and Brian Hines Holiday Letter
Download 2017 Christmas Letter PDF

JPEG: (below)

Comments

[Jim Sutherland]

Brain, when all else fails, here is what you have ahead of you to look forward to:

“Suprapubic Catheter
What is a suprapubic catheter?
A suprapubic catheter is a hollow flexible tube that is used to drain urine from the bladder. It is inserted into the bladder through a cut in the tummy, a few inches below the navel (tummy button). This is done under a local anaesthetic or a light general anaesthetic.

Why do I need a suprapubic catheter?
Anyone who cannot empty their bladder may need a catheter. A suprapubic catheter may be chosen because it is more comfortable and less likely to give you an infection than indwelling urethral catheters.”

I think before you get to this stage, ( another year or two? ),.....you should negotiate a deal with your friend, David Lane, to accompany you back to the Dera for a visit with the Master at Beas, for a private interview with Gurinder to heal your Bladder. Maybe he wasn’t only joking about knowing about butts and 69s. He might be able to know a bladder reamer trick or two to heal you.

Make sure to take the Train from New Delhi to Beas so you get practice peeing thru the toilet hole on to the rail road tracks while maneuvering and squeezing your Catheter Apparatus.

Christless Xmas Cheers to you and yours,
Jim Sutherland

[vinny]

Pediatric urinary catheter can be used if adult size catheter is uncomfortable. Daily quantified dose of colloidal silver can be used to ward off infections.

Now about God , No-God exploration.
Name : Dr Prem Saran Satsangi
Doctoral Advisor: Dr Jack B Ellis
Area of Work: Unified field of consciousness
Mathematical Proof coming out from his research ; Measured frequency of vibration of unified field of consciousness at different levels of consciousness.
Validated: Sant-mat , Shabd , Eternal sound , Word - Gospel of John , Saut-e-sarmadi [Sufism]
Do we need God now ??????

[L]

Jim Sutherland is new tAo.

[777]

Hi both of You,

I wouldn't deplace an old man, . . or Zulu, often it doesn't finish well
I guess Saw Palmetto has been tried already
if not; Be Quick!
I'm almost 81, . . .

Don't join science
They All actually see stupid intelligence behind the big bang !

It's a Shame You are not narcissistic enough to feel fine
with the thought that God is Laurel
and sometimes Brian :-)

And thanks for the comment_space here

777

ps
+++long life

[Spencer Tepper]

Why stop at a bladder?
Start shopping now for your next body before the final Christmas rush!
The elves have already begun construction so you better call in your changes.

Merry Krishmakah-non

Spence

[tucson]

In the case of President Bill Clinton, God didn't cause him "to resign out of remorse for the way he treated women" either, so, Brian, your belief in God's inexistence is likely to remain intact.

Maybe God doesn't intervene in events because God IS the events. Does the sun intervene in its shining... a shining that both burns and nurtures? It just shines.

[Jen]

I'm not into Xmas much, so looked for something amusing...
To office workers:

To: All Employees 
From: Management 
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC(the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

Running aluminium foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
Work requests are not to be filed under “Bah humbug.”
Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma’s house.
All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
..............

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

[Spencer Tepper]

Dear Tucson:

You wrote:
"In the case of President Bill Clinton, God didn't cause him "to resign out of remorse for the way he treated women" either, so, Brian, your belief in God's inexistence is likely to remain intact."

Paraphrased from a popular story related to the above:

This Christmas God and the angels got together to discuss what sort of gift to give humankind this year. The angels looked in the news and noted that recent Presidents, politicians and celebrities have shown a tendancy to less than respectable conduct with the opposite sex under their employ.

God said "Let's create a new Commandment. Number 11! One fit for out times."
And so the angels went to work. They had to be sure it would fit the language and sobriety of their other famous writings in the good book, yet address a growing issue of misbehavior among a few flawed but powerful human beings. They discussed, brainstormed, revised and finally came up with the perfect number 11.

They showed it to God, and He remarked: "Very nice, very timely. Worth another slab of granite all on it's own!"

And here is what they put forth:

"Thou Shalt Not Comfort Thy Rod With Thy Staff."

[B]

Quote Jen...One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

...wau Jen you are really wise you probably worked and learned whole of your life to earn such wisdom.

[Jen]

Brian, you can remove my post if you like. I found the Santa joke quite funny but have just realised how upset the feminists would be! Shock, horror! I read some of your HineSight recently and the womxn / womyn debate is something new for me. Very strange times indeed!

[Jim Sutherland]

My Christmas message to the Atheist Quackademics is, ....trying to convince those of us who have met the Radiant Form of the Spiritual Masters inside, that it was, is , a Chandian hallucinary brain fart, is about as effective as a Eunuch guarding a Whore House , telling all the men who enter, that no one entering there, has any sexual experiences.
Merry Xamas,
Jm Sutherland

[tucson]

Well folks,

Trump has been known for firing people and has been accused of abusive behavior toward women, but it was Clinton that really gave them the shaft.

[Lob]

Jim is constantly bringing sex into matter.

[Dungeness]

Rein in those little elves... they're hitting the eggnog
hard and doing Ho's three at a time.

[777]

-

Hi Jim
"""Atheist Quackademics"""

telling those in the Born Blind Institute
that the sky is blue

777