« Regarding God: How do you know? What are the chances? | Main | In a God's eye view, who does the seeing? »

June 25, 2014


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

I didn't have a father either, but for a different reason. Cancer. Probably mesothelioma (in 1949 they didn't have that name yet) because he did a stint in the British Navy at a time when asbestos was widely used in ships. I was 6 mo. old when he died so I never missed him when I was growing up. Besides, my mother had boyfriends, ex-husbands and husbands (she was very pretty in her prime) who played father surrogate roles to widely varying degrees during my growing up years. So, I never really felt deprived or like I was missing out on something.

Still, it was mostly just her doing the parenting during my youth and my older sister when I was really little. I never had a problem when people asked me what my father did. I just said he died when I was an infant and that was the end of the subject. Sometimes they would ask what my mother did. She basically did nothing in particular but had a family inheritance to live on. So, I just said, Oh, she has some oil wells, or something like that which usually satisfied the person asking.

One thing my mother did do increasingly over the years that stands out in my mind was drink until it got to the point where she was chug-a-lugging bottles of vodka all day and then she died of cancer.

Now, strangely enough I sort of miss my father, or at least I miss the opportunity to have gotten to know him and have him part of my life. By all accounts he was a pretty good guy. I realize how important fathers are in a kids life especially since I have a couple of grown kids myself. This gives perspective. I have tried to do a good job as a father, but I am flawed just as many are. At least we all get along.

So, I am fortunate not to have grown up feeling bitter about the absence of my father as Brian did since I had lots of ice cream cones of different kinds while growing up, but I think everyone who has an absentee dad does miss out on something very valuable in life.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)


  • Welcome to the Church of the Churchless. If this is your first visit, click on "About this site--start here" in the Categories section below.
  • HinesSight
    Visit my other weblog, HinesSight, for a broader view of what's happening in the world of your Church unpastor, his wife, and dog.
  • BrianHines.com
    Take a look at my web site, which contains information about a subject of great interest to me: me.
  • Twitter with me
    Join Twitter and follow my tweets about whatever.
  • I Hate Church of the Churchless
    Can't stand this blog? Believe the guy behind it is an idiot? Rant away on our anti-site.