Break free of the religious merry-go-round

I liked this image as soon as I saw it shared by someone in my Facebook feed.

Horses running free, coming vibrantly alive after they escape from their wooden attachment to a merry-go-round (or carousel). It resonated with my irreligious non-soul. 

Interestingly, Anne Wipf, the artist who created "Freedom - the Carousel," is big into fantasy. The image is posted on Elfwood, described as the world's largest sci-fi and fantasy community.

Well, each to his/her own.

I saw this image and thought free of fantastical religion!. Others look upon it and think free of restrictive reality! Fine. We're on the same wavelength of Free!

Which I look upon as meaning "open to changing," rather than unfettered from all outside influences.

I don't believe in free will (see here, here, here, and here). As a non-card-carrying Taoist, I do believe in the inevitability of change. There may be some invarying aspects to the cosmos, but as life is lived by us humans, constant changing is the only constant.

Browsing through "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Taoism" this morning, I came across:

Ch-Ch-Changes
In the following quote, is it the man or the river that changes?

"No man ever steps in the same river twice."
-- Heraclitus 

Great question. Both seems like a good answer. But I might change my mind about that. 

Today I boxed up most of the books published by Radha Soami Satsang Beas that have been part of my life since 1970. I was an active member of this Indian spiritual/mystical organization for over thirty years.

Even though I'm no longer involved with the group, and don't subscribe to most of RSSB's "Sant Mat" dogmas any more, for quite a few years I stored the books away in the attic of our garage rather than giving them away or selling them.

Then, recently, I heard from someone in India who was looking for early editions of the RSSB books.

I emailed him back that most of mine were early editions. She isn't a member of Radha Soami Satsang Beas; she just enjoys reading Indian philosophy and doesn't like how RSSB has edited some of its books over time.

I realized that the time had come to take another step off of the religious merry-go-round. Those books had meant a lot to me. That's why I'd stored them, rather than getting rid of them. Some I'd read many times, highlighting passages in various colors over decades of re-reading.

Binders had come loose of some books that I'd had for over forty years. Handwritten notes were inserted in many pages, as I'd used the books as references for talks ("satsangs") that I'd given many times at RSSB meetings.

The Indian woman and I are trying to figure out how to get 87 pounds of books to New Delhi in the least expensive way. Any ideas would be appreciated (leave a comment). Surface shipping seems to have mostly disappeared, with the modern emphasis on air transport.

This morning I decided to figure out how many boxes it would take to ship the books. Answer: three 12 inch by 12 inch boxes. Not many. 

Seeing them on the kitchen floor, I thought about how much of my previous spiritual life was reflected in those three boxes, those 87 pounds of pages.

When I had gone through the books a few days before, determining the publication date and edition of each so the Indian woman could decide if he wanted a particular book, there were moments when I started to become emotional. I was remembering how much a certain book had meant to me.

But almost instantly I realized, that was then, this is now. I've changed. Change happens. Change is good. Also, inevitable. 

I've given up some beliefs. I've embraced others. That's how life goes, for as long as we're alive. I'm glad my books will be going to someone who appreciates them (assuming we figure out how to ship them). They used to be important to me.

Now, they're not.

Comments

[Pythagoras]

Brian. Don't give them away.

For 2 reasons:

1) FINANCIAL
The price of the first editions will skyrocket, when all the Sant-Mat cult will transform into a full-blown religion.

Imagine that you will possess the first editions of their "bible".

You will be lucky eventually. Or your descendants/heritors.

2) SCIENTIFIC
In these books there is proof or there will be proof, for the gross mutations of the sant mat doctrines. This is called ideological mimicry, opportunism and can be proved easily when there are documents that show clearly that they change their dogma by expedience.!!!

[Deb]

I'm finding the same, that it's hard to get rid of some of my Christian books, the ones that meant a lot to me at the time. And I am constantly torn between giving them a good home and tossing them in the bin! But I figure they were part of my journey... Have gotten rid of most of them, so getting there! :-)

Last time I sent books overseas it was by surface mail, but it still was quite expensive as I recall. And the dratted things got lost and took about 8 months to get there...

[Adrian Mendoza]

We can easily become slaves of our books,I can't get rid of them yet, I know I'm going to read them just one time and never touch them again but it is still hard to just let them go, so I too understand that feeling. Good thing you can do it Brian, you will spend your life with less attachments, which is good and I imagine is one step on the true path to spiritual freedom (whatever that means anyway).

By the way the books I find harder to get rid of are the J. Krishnamurti ones, ISKCON's Bhagavad Gita and everything related to the Buddha, I see those books as something almost sacred, ISKCON's guru, Prabhupada, version of the Gita was the first book of indian spirituality I read, it started everything for me, my whole journey to date started there, I don't believe a single word on it anymore but yeah I have developed some feelings for that book (or books, I own at least 3 editions of that one).

The Buddha related books put me on a journey to dismiss ISKCON (and Catholicism and well almost everything else), sadly I found the tibetan organization, I was lucky to let them reveal themselves as hypocrites before I went into that more seriously.

Finally Krishnamurti with his opposition to organized religion was the last thing it took to return me to the valley of reason, where I would like to think I'm still standing.

So, I hope I can have your courage in the not so far future and start to give them away, or do whatever comes first and would feel more suitable in that moment.

[Brian Hines]

Adrian, like you I still have LOTS of books. There's little chance I'll ever give away, or sell, my treasured Buddhist, Taoist, Alan Watts, Zen, Advaita/Ramana, and many other sorts of spiritual/philosophical literature.

As you said, they've been a part of my changing, my growth, my enlarging of perspective away from a narrow sort of dogmatism. They give me a good feeling just seeing them on my bookshelves, and I also enjoy re-reading them from time to time.

I always find it interesting, and encouraging, how I can pick up a book a few years after I initially read it and find that it almost like new to me.

I've changed, obviously, because the content of the book hasn't changed. The mental framework within which the words of the book are interpreted has altered, because of the experiences I've had since I first read the book.

Life is change.

[Aha Maha]

He don't believe in free will yet he reckons he is in a position to determine his right to accept or reject that which essentially is his route to knowing himself

What he still fails to realize is that same will that brought him this far hasn't forgotten how far it is to discover how chained and unfree his conditioned thinking and conditioned thought patterns are from realizing who he is yet.

[M]

Hi Brian,

I have been reading some of your posts out of curiosity since few months. I think some of them are really thought provoking. However, it's surprising when you constantly criticise RSSB, other religions or what others believe. It's like you fall in love with a girl(RSSB) for few years and after you have broken up, you keep criticising what you liked then and what you don't like about her now. It's also somewhat like announcing to the entire world that please don't fall in love with her. I think if you have a broken relationship with RSSB, it's time you moved on rather than dwelling on the same topics over an over. More positivity would help the readers and I think even you. I feel there is lot of negativity, criticism and cynicism in some of the comments and even the posts. How does all this help in any way? This is my honest observation.

Regards,
M

[Brian Hines]

M, thanks for your "honest observation." I assume you feel that other people, such as me, are welcome to their own honest observations. Or would you prefer that everybody look upon reality the same way, which I gather would be your way?

Analogies can cut both ways.

Referring to your comment above, I could say to you "I think if you are in an abusive relationship with religion, it's time you separated from the abuser and moved on. Your positivity isn't helping, because you are in denial."

(for many years my wife was a psychotherapist who frequently dealt with victims of domestic violence, so I'm familiar with how people get trapped in relationships they should leave)

If religions, or religious people, are worthy of criticism, then I criticize them. I don't constantly criticize on this blog. There's a lot of positivity here, a lot, because I'm a happy, positive person. It makes me happy and positive to speak truthfully about how I view the world. Hopefully you feel the same.

I love my wife. She loves me. Often we don't agree about something. What's wrong with that? If everybody was the same, we wouldn't be who we are.

[M]

There is a difference between honest observations and criticism. Dictionary meaning below -
1.the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything.
2.the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding.
3.the act or art of analyzing and evaluating or judging the quality of a literary or artistic work, musical performance, art exhibit, dramatic production, etc.
4.a critical comment, article, or essay; critique.
5.any of various methods of studying texts or documents for the purpose of dating or reconstructing them, evaluating their authenticity, analyzing their content or style, etc.: historical criticism; literary criticism.

I think a lot of above happens on this website. As I said, I do agree that lot of posts are thought provoking and I like reading them. I am just questioning the need of so much negativity. You might want to re-read some of the comments and the posts and you will realize they are far from positive.

You were married earlier. You did not agree with your first wife and moved on. As a mature person, you wouldn't constantly like to publicise "honest observations" about her or whatever is going on in her life. I mean the same when you talk about any religion or RSSB. As a reader, I would like to read a lot about what do you think now and where do people go from here. I see more or less negative and positive posts alternating with a mention of negative aspects of RSSB and religion even in some of the positive posts. I would say let religions and RSSB the way they are. Probably, you would tell me that I should also let you be! :)

I never said that you are a negative person. Maybe, I am not able to get the point across, or you are not getting the point on a blog.

BR,
M

[Writerdianalee]

Entering the game late, I ask: What is RSSB? I don't have time to peruse the entire site now to figure it out on my own. Thanks!

[Brian Hines]

RSSB stands for Radha Soami Satsang Beas. It's a spiritual organization based in India headed up by a guru who is supposed to be God in Human Form. See the Wikipedia article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radha_Soami_Satsang_Beas

[Mark Heartwell]

God is one ..but fragmented ..is it all good.. some how... absolutism is pretty crazy ..but then again the best ...wo man should come out on top... until some one else tops her or him.. I go with the hers...we men need a big change.

[Love]

Dear Brian:

I read your comments on RSSB with great interest, specially the lack of experience.

While you were performing the practices, I must say you were never a devotee, which is fairly apparent from your writings. Instead of creating a deep yearning for a place in the Lord's feet, you were ever so much more interested in the "experience".

The love and devotion that any spiritual elevation requires is that of complete surrender. That was grossly missing in your case. Of course, a lot of RSSB devotees also have true experience, but they would have never told you that - it is a condition at the time of initiation.

Finally, I can tell you that your blog is only harming yourself, not others as much, as only you would find it more difficult to come back on the right path.

[cc]

The love and devotion that any spiritual elevation requires is...a deep yearning for a place in the Lord's feet

Brain-rot aspiring to toenail fungus

[Brian Hines]

Love, a belated reply. Who are you to judge whether I was a devotee of my guru? I certainly was.

I loved Charan Singh. I did a lot of seva (volunteer service) for him and his successor. I spent years writing a book that Charan Singh said he wanted to have written before his death. I felt a lot of joy fulfilling the desire of my guru.

I meditated every day as instructed. I followed the other vows, as instructed. So, yes, I was a devotee. You have no idea how devoted I was for 35 years, because you aren't me.