Atheists, pray for the Patriots to beat Tim Tebow

Today is apocalyptic. God-loving quarterback Tim Tebow and his Denver Broncos play Tom Brady's New England Patriots in an important NFL playoff game. 

This isn't only a football game. It's a battle with cosmic significance. Will in-your-face, obnoxious, Christian "Tebowing" win out, leading fundamentalists to believe that, indeed, God is on the Nuggets' side?

Will a quarterback who says he's still a virgin (Tebow) triumph over a guy (Brady) who fathered a love child with another woman and now is married to supermodel Gisele Bundchen?

God, I hope not! Like some of the Patriots, I'm tired of Tebow talk.

So fellow atheists, agnostics, unbelievers, infidels, pagans, and other irreligionists, we've got to start praying intensely for Tebow to not only lose today's game, but to be crushed, humiliated, blown off of the gridiron in an embarassing fashion.

Except...wait...let me think for a moment...

Shit! We don't believe in prayer. We don't believe in supernatural interventions. Damn.

OK, then just watch the game; enjoy it; accept the reality of the final score. Then go on to other things of life, not making more or less of an AFC playoff game than it deserves. Yeah, the Broncos are 13 1/2 point underdogs.

But upsets frequently happen, without God.

Comments

[Blogger Brian]

Great job, unbelieving guys and gals. You did it! Your non-prayers produced a non-win for the Broncos. Brady and his Patriots trounced Tebow's Broncos.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/15/sports/football/tom-brady-leads-patriots-to-win-over-tim-tebow-and-broncos.html

There were a lot of great moments in the game. One of my favorite was the first and goal series for the Broncos from the Patriot three yard line. Which resulted in zilch points for Tebow. He made an angry gesture on the failed fourth down touchdown attempt.

Funny. Why didn't he praise God with a "Tebow" prayerful kneeldown? Oh, I know. He's the sort of Christian who believes that God only does things he wants to have happen. You know, the self-centered stuff, like scoring a touchdown.

[Bob]

Well, you got your wish Brian.

Although I was pulling for Denver, I'm behind the 49ers all the way! I think Jerry Garcia may have had something to do with their last minute victory! So, instead of Tebowing to get what I want, I may switch and listen to a good ole 1969 version of Dark Star!!

Cheers!