I'm scolded for changing religions. But change happens.

Why is it that religious true believers are so upset when someone leaves their chosen faith? This confuses me, because many, if not most, members of a religion are converted -- either from a different religion or from unbelief.

So it isn't surprising that the process of conversion often keeps on going. People can convert to another religion. Or deconvert from religious belief entirely. (See my "Deconversion is as natural as conversion.")

Yesterday I got an email from someone who scolded me for -- shock! -- changing. Below I've shared what he said (minus his name), along with my reply to him.

hello Mr. Brian! it was amazing and rather amusing reading your views on Sant Mat. what i am more amused about is that it took 38 long years for you to realise that you were  on a wrong track!!!! i am also surprised that if something could keep you contented and satisfied for this long a period, there must surely be something Great. otherwise we human cannot be satisfied for more than two minutes. then whats keeping you? i think its more of a frustration that you were not able to see the form of the master inside. i have surely met many people who do tell what they see and hear at what stage. i pray to babaji you meet some too. i am even a bit surprised that if after 38 years of meditation (i think u did give 2.5 hrs daily) if you could go astray, then i should mind and watch myself very closely as i am new on this path.  another thing that surprises me is that how could you miss that radiance on the Master's face. have you ever, in  you life met someone as radiant and illuminated as him.  and, my friend, your mind is playing very strong tricks on you. for all that you have written are just dirty tricks of the mind to set you off the track. i m sure that it is now that you are on a wrong track. BEWARE!!!!!!! you better pray to the Almighty to set you on the right path once again. lots of prayers, X

This is the email response that I sent to X.

X, have you ever changed your mind about something? Have you ever experienced big changes in your life? If you haven't so far, I can guarantee that you will someday, because life is full of changes. 

Me, I was married for eighteen years to a woman that I loved for a long time. Then we got divorced. Now I'm married to a different woman, for twenty-one years now. I also love her. It's possible to fall in and out of love, whether with a religion/spiritual path, or with a person.

You seem to be surprised that people change. We can be satisfied with a belief, a person, a place, a belonging, a whatever, for a long time. Then we grow, evolve, move in a different direction. You might ask yourself why you seem to view religious beliefs as changeless, while everything else in life changes.

I was initiated into RSSB back in 1971 after changing from an earlier relationship with a Yoga master. Do you think that I was wrong to leave the Yogi? Way before that, as a child I went to Catholic church for a while. I had my first communion and was baptized Catholic. Do you think I should have remained Catholic my entire life?

I doubt it. 

So I'm pretty sure you believe it's good for people to join up with Radha Soami Satsang Beas, but not for people to leave RSSB. However, almost every person who is initiated into RSSB previously believed in some other form of spirituality. Why shouldn't you scold RSSB initiates for giving up on their old religions, since you seem to believe that people should stay with the same belief system for their entire life?

Some questions for you to think about, at least. Thanks for writing. 

   --Brian

No, I never saw any "radiant" (astral) form of the guru inside my psyche. I did see the guru, both Charan Singh and Gurinder Singh, quite a few times in person. I'll agree that they were/are charismatic men. However, I can't say either was more radiant or illuminating than other people I've met.

My wife has seen Gurinder Singh, once close-up. She wasn't impressed. But she doesn't believe in Sant Mat, or the notion of a guru being God in human form. So what someone expects to see in a guru is pretty much what he or she will see. 

Speaking of seeing...

This afternoon I was thinking about what I was going to write in this blog post while on a dog walk. Lost in thought, I was brought back to here-and-now reality when our dog made one of her frequent sniff stops to smell some fascinating scent that escapes me.

I looked down at the ground. And saw an amazing form. It wasn't radiant, per se, but it sure brightened my mood on a rainy Oregon day. If we open our eyes to what is right around us, perhaps that's the nearest we'll ever come to ultimate reality.

Comments

[Dogribb]

Brian do you have any mails of folks who almost got involved with RSSB but owing to your site or some other intervention avoid entanglment?

[cc]

If you turn that photo upside down and hold it fourteen inches from your face you'll see the radiant face of Jesus.

[Brian Hines]

cc, oh my God! You're right! It's a miracle. Well, kind of.

To me, the face in the upside down photo looks more like a bug-eyed space alien, perhaps with a horrible deformity. But, hey, I'm happy to receive supernatural communications from any source. Makes my dog walks more interesting, for sure.

[Brian Hines]

Dogribb, I've gotten all sorts of emails about RSSB. I seem to recall a few along the lines you spoke of: people who are taking a second look at their decision to seek initiation.

I also hear from: (1) people concerned about a relative or loved one who they believe has fallen into the RSSB "cult" and want advice on what to do, (2) people leaning toward asking for initiation and wanting to know more about my own RSSB experience, and, of course (3) people who are astounded that I'm no longer involved with RSSB and scold me for giving up on the One True Path.

[cc]

"people who are astounded that I'm no longer involved with RSSB and scold me for giving up on the One True Path."

I was on The One True Path for several years, but it intersected with so many other True Paths, I had to abandon pathology altogether.

[seeker2011]

...' if you could go astray, then i should mind and watch myself very closely as i am new on this path.'

Oh new seeker, as cute as you sound & 'speak', full of hope & promises-yet-to-be-realised, you are definitely 'new' to this path of RSSB, Sant Mat!

Now for me, as ancient seeker 2011,this has been my year for getting-it-all-off-my-chest once & for all. And - being very grateful for this website - I can say that, for me at least, there's now no more need to say another word about Babaji-G, about his version of the Truth, his way of life, his RSSB/SOS style of spiritual organisation ... for it's all writ in these blogs for those who have the wit & wisdom to hear it; written by the likes of Brian, Tara, Mike Williams, Tao et al who at least give-it-straight as they've experienced & seen it all.

And, new RSSB seeker, that'll do for me cos one thing I do know for sure - have realised for my very self - is that our 'radiant' friend Babaji-G does NOT give it straight!

But then, perhaps that's what his new blogging - internet sites - are all about. For, regardless of all he's previously said about such sites as these it seems he's now eager to forge a more direct/cyber link with initiates via his facebook & twitter accounts ... so, perhaps, we might surmise that his inner contact/messaging system no longer has the ooomph these days!

Well, it's been a real treat Babaji-G! I, for one, am just so appreciative of the experience of having been in-then-out of RSSB within this one life time ... so hang in their brother-Guru, having become so attached to your current status there's little doubt, if you believe the hype, that there's a loada familiar faces you'll be meeting time & again in lifetimes to come ... but, God willing, one of them will not be me!

So here's to a Happy New Babaji-G-less 2012!

[Brian Hines]

Gurinder Singh has a blog, Facebook, and Twitter accounts? Is this irony, or reality (assuming there's a difference)? Regardless, Happy New Year back at you, seeker2011. Will you be changing your online name tomorrow?

[cc]

Gurus are the gentlemen of con-artistry because when the conned catches on, he realizes he was using the guru no less than he was being used, and that all's fair in tomfoolery.

[Rajendra Prasad]

There is a vast ocean. The end is not visible. There is a ship, deep inside the ocean, moving slowly and steadily towards the end of the ocean. There is a crow sitting on the ship. The crow gets impatient. He wants to reach the end of the ocean right now. He feels he can do himself. He takes-off the ship. And flies, and flies, and flies, .................., at random. But to no avail. He gets miserable, terribly miserable, horribly miserable,...............; gets tired, exhausted, terribly, horribly,......... But the end is not visible. He realises, he was better-off sitting on the ship. He searches for the ship. To his utter happiness, he is able to see the ship. He flies fast and comfortably land on the ship. Promising to himself, that he would never leave the ship again. This is our plight. We have no option except to enjoy the comfort of the ship. Sooner we realise better it is.

I am wondering whether some people have been deliberately planted to criticise, because the criticism is the best way to keep aside the people who are not serious as on today.

[Brian Hines]

Rajendra, that's a nice story. But where is the reality? I'm not on a ship in the ocean. I'm sitting in my house, typing on my laptop.

So I assume your story is a metaphor, since people aren't crows, and life isn't a ship.

What is the crow? What is the ship? What is the ocean? Are you saying that a religion is the ship; each person is a crow; and life is the ocean?

If so, this metaphor doesn't seem correct. I'm not lost in the ocean. I'm right here in my house, typing on my laptop. I'm not miserable, tired, exhausted. I just ate. I've got a cup of coffee. Life is good.

Anyway, if religion is the ship we should be resting on, how are we to decide which of the thousands of religion-ships in the ocean we should perch on? Each one claims to be able to get us to salvation, enlightenment, heaven, a promised land.

[just_bob]

Oh BTW, the meditation only works if you focus on your pineal gland and not the 3rd eye focus. This is weird but true. It's like tripping on acid but a lot more divinely inspired. Very cool visuals. I don't know why they tell people to focus on the 3rd eye centre, all you get from that is a headache and eye strain. I CAN'T BELIEVE you've been meditating the wrong way for over 30 years! That's just depressing.

[tucson]

Yeah, just_bob, good point. I frequently got eyestrain and headaches focusing on the fucking third eye center for the better part of three decades. What bullshit these phoney satgurus throw at you! Any yogi worth his fudgestained loincloth knows that the pineal gland is where it's at. Basic stuff, and that's where I'm heading as soon as I put a period at the end of this sentence.

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