Bow down to me, religious believers, because I am the exalted one, God's most favored favorite, the beloved of whoever or whatever divinity -- assuming such exists -- lies at the heart of reality.
How do I know this? In the same way the true name of God, Galobet, came to me in a French Roast-fueled revelation five years ago.
So after sipping my way through some pre-meditation reading, my consciousness was marvelously attuned to Galobet’s divine message. I was flying high on the swiftly beating wings of caffeine. This proximity to Galobet’s heavenly realm allowed me to hear his words (I’m not sure if Galobet is a “he,” but since I am, and I’m Galobet’s chosen messenger, I’m going with the masculine pronoun.)
“I am all of the gods so far known to humankind. And yet I am so much more, my beloved Brian. You are destined to reveal my nature to the world.”
Understand, Galobet hadn’t yet spoken his name to me. All I knew was that a godly entity was communicating with me. This being had the power to form thoughts in my mind, so akin to my own that there was scarcely a hairsbreadth of difference between them. Such is the glory of Galobet—Oneness.
Today it happened again. As I was exercising at our athletic club, vaguely pondering what I was going to write about on this here blog when I got home, another message from the supremely supreme being popped into my mind.
"Dude, you're The Man! I dig you the most! Because you haven't fallen for any of the fake gods that scam up your world's religions. Your sacred mantra is I don't know shit about God. That's so real. Take a bow, Brian. Proclaim your Most Beloved of God status in a blog post tonight. Bask in my adoration of your atheism."
I said, "Thanks, God, nice to hear from you again." Not aloud of course. Inside my head, where Galobet/God and I have so many wonderful conversations.
Driving home, I sought confirmation of the divine truth that had just been revealed to me. And glory be, such was given to me. I heard the same clear voice speak its wisdom: Holy fuck yes Brian, God loves unbelievers like you above all others.
(God is fond of profanity. Which makes me feel good, because so am I.)
So fellow churchless skeptics, atheists, agnostics, brights, humanists, devotees of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and other proud deniers of religious crap, rest assured that God, whether or not she exists as the hot sexy babe I envision spending eternity with, loves you.
A lot. And yes, in that way. Also in any other way you can imagine. Cool, huh? No need to worry that if you're wrong about this God stuff, your afterlife could be nasty.
Relax. It's been revealed to me that God adores whatever. My daughter will be pleased to learn this, because this was her favorite word when she was in high school. Sample usage: "Do you want to get a pizza tonight?" "Whatever, Dad."
God loves this sort of faith, this sort of surrender. That's why God loves me and other unbelievers so much. We're happy to flow with whatever. If we live on after death, great. If not, we'll do our living here on Earth as fully and passionately as possible.
God let me know that she gets irritated when someone believes they know all about her: what she's like, what she wants, what she does, where she hangs out. "Those assholes have it all wrong," she told me, "but they're so fucking annoyingly dogmatic about how right they wrongly believe they are."
An utterly open mind, a heart without fences, a tight embrace of whatever -- this is what turns God on.
How do I know for sure? I don't. And so, I do.
Ah Brian, a bit too much coffee or exercise...... maybe.....
Posted by: Marina | June 11, 2011 at 12:06 AM
Marina, oh, not at all. I'm seeing everything wonderfully clearly now. There's no such thing as a "bit too much" when the secrets of the cosmos are being revealed to me. Oh, yes, the revelations are coming hot and heavy. I've finally got it all figured out.
God is speaking so clearly to me, so very, very clearly. Sure, maybe just a tad more clearly after I drink a cup of coffee. But that's all part of the divine plan. Caffeine -- enlightenment...ever notice how some of the letters are the same in these words. Yeah, did you ever notice that?
Posted by: Blogger Brian | June 11, 2011 at 12:23 AM
Brian (and anyone else interested in nontheism/atheism),
Check out The Secular Web. The Secular Web is an excellent and extensive resource website run by a nonprofit educational organization dedicated to defending and promoting a naturalistic (nontheistic) worldview. Naturalism is the "hypothesis that the natural world is a closed system" in the sense that nothing that is not a part of the natural world affects it. As such, naturalism implies that there are no supernatural entities, such as gods, angels, demons, ghosts, or other spirits, or at least none that actually exercises power to affect the natural world.
Posted by: tAo | June 11, 2011 at 01:19 AM
Brian dear, there is such a thing as a "bit too much salt".
Let me know if you want to hear more :)))
Posted by: Marina | June 11, 2011 at 03:37 AM
Sorrie Brian you are to late :)
Long time ago the people saw their community as a unity therefore they needed a lot of gods in the sky (or ground) to project their individual differences on. Nowadays we are all different (except for me :)) and we need a monotheistic god to reflect our common ground. Your god seems more like a different god. I suggest you come up with a ONE god that unites all other gods as the supreme being! That will be more successful these days.
(unless your god is real of course than I bow my head in deep shame and beg for forgiveness, just to be sure ;))
Posted by: Nietzsche | June 11, 2011 at 03:42 AM
Nietzsche, my god is real! At least, she's as real as any other god. I get messages, intuitions, perceptions, and such from her that manifest in my brain.
That's exactly, EXACTLY, how other Messengers of God receive their revelations. So my god-realization deserves as much respect as that of others.
I'll leave it to you to deserve how much that is. (Hint: if it is very little, you're on the right track.)
Marina, I'm disappointed in how you're reacting to how I've described my ever-evolving enlightenment. Hey, you've been saying that folks on this blog need to be open to all sorts of possibilities, as we can't know what is really true.
Well, I've described an eminently possible possibility -- that God gets super-pissed off at people who pretend to know what she is like, when they really don't.
God loves humble unknowing and "I don't know." Yet you seem to be sure that what I've written in this post is over-the-top caffeine-spurred mental ramblings.
But then so are the dogma-spurred mental ramblings of every other purported guru, savior, master, saint, and so on. If you're going to discount my revelations, then you need to discount all the others also.
Which would be a good idea, in my opinion. Just don't be selective in what crap you choose to embrace and which you push away. Push it all away.
Posted by: Blogger Brian | June 11, 2011 at 09:14 AM
How true the words you speak! I have neglected to see the whole picture. How could I be so slow?
Actually Brian, I think you could be nearer the truth than you think - only one bit of salt missing ie, not allowing me to have my eh ramblings. I am sure you meant to say that I too am ok ;)
By the way 'crap' is crap until you realise there is no crap - only what we indidually make it....;)
So no pushing anything away!
Here is one for you.....
As I was saying......too much salt! :))
Brian you have said many a time that you want proof, maybe now you feel you don't need it after your ever evolving enlightenment, but anyway....
Before I give you an analogy on salt, that I would love to claim came from lil olde ‘me’, I must give credit where credit is due and thank Peter Ralston for this ‘Salt’ analogy.
I need to say (I do like talking even if it is with my fingers) that after Boo left her comment on the other thread, ‘A Guru should know if he is God’ it left me pondering. My first reaction was that she had made a very good point. I went into myself and thought ‘yeah, nobody is hearing what I am saying, they on the blog are all one sided. I think I will leave.’ After enquiring into it further, I realised, no matter how good or true any point is, if there is an element of even the subtlest hint of ‘blame’ towards the other side, it is still more of the same; our own view versus the ‘others’ view. We all have a tendency to do this, some more so than others, but we are all the same.
So I was looking at me V you lot and thinking I was right and throwing an element of blame your way (very subtle) by having the attitude of ‘they are blinded by their negativity’. All I was gaining was an added measure to my sense of ‘self’. :)
This all comes when I separate the ‘whole’ (oneness, life) into parts, when I see everything from my self serving agenda / self identity. Yes, most of us are trying to ‘get’ something we feel is missing or ‘gain’ knowledge and in doing this, that very act causes separation. What we seem to miss it that, everything that is good for the ‘whole’ is good for us. So if we make someone out there ‘wrong’ even if it is very subtle, we are making ourselves ‘wrong’. We add in our two penny bit all in the attempt to get ‘our’ point across and win the discussion/argument, whatever, over someone or something else - all in the cause of our ‘selves’.
Oh yes, we even fool ourselves by thinking ‘my point’ is much more spiritual (whatever that means) and aligned with the ‘truth’ than your point. Anthony De Mello comes to mind. Oh I do love his stories! For instance, when we see a prostitute we may judge that they are all about sex and are going astray down the wrong path. Whereas, if we see a priest, we may say, oh he is spreading God’s word, he is going in the right direction. Anthony if I recall says, when he meets a prostitute they talk of nothing but God and when he meets a priest, the priest talks nothing but sex. So do we really know?
From my limited view point, it feels to me why I defend, blame etc because there is a fear of losing something – or I think I can lose something! That something seems to be this collection of beliefs, ideas, assumptions that make up this ‘false’ thing that I, a lot of the time refer to as ‘me’.
OK, to salt or not to salt, that is the question?
”If you were one ingredient in the making of a dish, say the salt in a soup, then you must apply yourself to the soup (the condition arising) wholly and in the right proportion. To not apply yourself would be to not surrender to the making of the dish. To over-apply yourself would be to destroy the dish to further the exclusive demands of the self. You must apply yourself appropriately in the right way at the right time, and this is not determined by you exclusively. It is already determined and known through an activity we could call “taste”.
If taste were a constant feedback or sense of what is the exact proportions of all things, then you must surrender to the demand of taste. If it says, “Not enough of you,” you apply more; if it says, “Enough”, you apply no more. Whether you are demanded of more or less is not seen as a rating of your value. As salt, your value lies in the whole condition arising, the soup.
The appropriateness of your activity is determined by that force or sense that is in touch with or inclusive of all that is arising, all ingredients and their proper relationship to one another in this moment.
When dessert is served and its demand is to be sweet, then you do not apply yourself at all, since it would not serve the demand of that event. You would do this quite willingly as you are surrendered to the whole, determined by “taste”, which tells you salt is not needed or desired in this event. It takes nothing away from your value, since the best thing you can do for the perfection of things in not apply yourself at this time.
In this analogy you are also drawn to support all other ingredients to apply themselves appropriately. You draw them out if they need to apply themselves more and you shut them down or balance them, if they are applying themselves too much.
And again, this is not determined by you but by your ability to listen to “taste”. You simply support and are governed by this inclusive determining force that has only the whole good and state of equilibrium as its concern. You communicate that.
If “water” applies itself too much to the soup then you and maybe some others must balance water’s over zealousness by applying more of yourselves, given you could not communicate taste’s demand to water that more water was not needed.
So your responsibility is not simply to your own affairs, it is inclusive of the whole condition.
So you see, you are the salt of the earth!
We are all part of the soup. Are we spoiling it with a tad too much?
To all ye salt shakers, shake on!
PS. I love the “Flying Spaghetti Monster” one of the things it said was ‘If we put up a billboard [or a comment on a blog], it must be a positive[the right amount of salt] message – it must promote us and our ideals, not attack another group.[which it never is about anyway]
Posted by: Marina | June 11, 2011 at 09:59 AM
Just had a wee peek at your links above.
I didn't read it all, just briefly looked around, but link:http://www.infidels.org/library/
has what seems a really good area for parents, as it has a parents corner with advice for parents trying to educate their kids from the norm of 'religion'. It also seems to have books for all different age ranges for children. Very good.
I just thought of Rain who was on the site looking for books etc. I think he would find it interesting. I hope he sees your link as I think it could be along the lines for what he is looking for.
Posted by: Marina | June 12, 2011 at 03:43 AM
i think the word "god" is part of the problem ...to me "god" is the creative principle of life...which is energy-omnipotent,omniscient, omnipresent energy...infinite, indivisible, incorporeal energy expressing individually ...(no human logic in energy)...IT, ENERGY is the substance of all form, which appears as solid, dense matter to the 5 physical senses...ENERGY AWARENESS is undisturbed by the world of material concepts ... this is the wake-up journey, seeing through the density to the incorporeality ... "church of churchless" is a great site ... all the best ...
Posted by: anna | June 16, 2011 at 06:26 PM
Yes, Church of the Churchless is a great site.
This is one of the few places you can actually say what your thinking.
(When one is not trying to still their thought)
It's funny we try to kill thought to
get rid of the 'self'.
How much easier it is to simply realize,
we never had a 'self' we could ever get
Then you can think all you want.
(impersonal thoughts of course)
Posted by: Mike Williams | June 16, 2011 at 08:53 PM