I'm churchless. And as "spiritual" as ever.

Today a friend asked me to explain my current attitude toward spirituality.

We haven't talked as much about godly, mystical, and meditational matters as we did back when I was an active member of an India-based religious organization, Radha Soami Satsang Beas (RSSB).

It's always interesting for me to hear what I have to say in response to such a query. I didn't have to think much, if at all, before answering him. After all, writing posts for this blog keeps me attuned to how I feel about spirituality now, as opposed to my previous true-believing past.

But talking face to face is different from communicating blogishly. I wanted to be as direct and simple as possible with my friend. We were having a coffee house conversation, and I didn't want it to turn into an one-sided soliloquy.

"I guess the biggest change is that I'm much more into the here and now," I said. "When I meditate I'm focused on my breath, my body, and what is right around me. I'm no longer seeking some hypothesized other-worldly reality."

My friend wondered if I'd given up on exploring the possibility that consciousness can contact realms beyond the physical.

"Not at all," I told him. "But I no longer believe that this is likely. And even if it is possible, I don't think it would come about through active effort -- rather, through a relaxed letting go."

We continued on with our conversation for quite a bit longer.

My main intention was to get across a basic fact: ending my involvement with an organized religious faith -- complete with a guru, holy books, rituals, and lifestyle commandments -- certainly didn't mark an end to my commitment to spirituality.

Indeed, that commitment has gotten considerably stronger now that I've entered my churchless phase.

I simply have a much broader view of what "spiritual" means. To me, this word points to how I experience reality subjectively, the inner sense of how I experience life as contrasted with how others perceive me outwardly.

"What if this life is all there is?" I asked my friend. "We die, and that's it. Wouldn't it be a waste to always keep on looking for ultimate truth and meaning around the next corner, and never get there? Why not accept that all we can ever be aware of is here and now, not there and then?"

I told him that a big part of the RSSB meditation system was, essentially, doing nothing: merely being aware of what was present within one's consciousness, which might include spiritual sights and sounds.

Well, that's still what I do now in my morning meditation.

But I no longer have conceptual or intellectual expectations about what I'll experience when I close my eyes and settle onto my meditation cushion. I just aim at being as mindful and aware as possible of what actually passes through my consciousness.

If God, angels, heavenly beings, Buddha-nature, Spirit, astral realms, or any other divine entity make an appearance, I'll welcome them. If they stay away, I'm content.

Another friend chimed in to the conversation at one point. He said, "Brian spent many years looking for evidence of the supernatural and never found any. So now he's looking for truth in other directions."

Absolutely.

If after thirty-five years you haven't come across what you've been looking for, does it make sense to keep on searching in the same place, and in the same fashion? No. I came to the conclusion that this would be crazy.

Maybe it doesn't exist. Or maybe the object of your desire is elsewhere.

Like, right here. Haven't you ever wandered around looking for your car keys, only to finally notice that you were holding them?

I have. And that moment of astonished relief when I realized my searching had been senseless... that wordless sensation is what I was trying to communicate to my friend today in quite a few words.

Rumi spoke of how buried treasure of the spiritual sort can be found: not by searching in distant places, but by looking right beneath your feet. Excellent advice, which I've taken to heart.

Comments

[Dogribb]

Closer than your jugular-Sufi Saying

Were your pals RRSB actives ? My encounters with old contacts seem like interventions..they want to help me back into the fold...lol

[Blogger Brian]

Dogribb, the friend who asked me the question has been interested in the RSSB teachings for a long time, but isn't initiated -- and isn't likely to be. The other friend who pointed out that my searching and not finding had extended over several decades is an open-minded RSSB initiate.

[Rain]

I like this and it's exactly how I feel but in many ways it was how I felt in church also. It's about now; and when what is needed for now changes, we are free to go with it-- wherever that might lead. It's a mix of the biological and emotional world with another way of thinking-- spiritual-- that doesn't require a religion nor does it need any major signs as it is good for what it is!

[William_Nelson]

I think Jac O'Keeffe expresses the heart of spirituality most succintly as follows: "The freedom you look for is where you look from".

Cheers Mate

[George]

However, the question is what is it in the human animal that has caused virtually every single civilization since the year dot to indulge in religion, ritual or mystical traditions.

I am not saying this is proof of god or a transcendental realm, but where does this aspect of our nature of psychological predisposition come from, it seems peculiar to humans and virtually all of them.

then there is the mystical core, which seems to lie at the heart of all religions, which is self-knowledge or going within, they all do it, whether by meditation, zen koans or jesuit peace listening to the silence, the unstruck chord, the unspoken word.

I'm not sure whats what, cos i aint ever seen or felt the boogey man or a higher purpose or prescence, but if you see someone passing away whom you have known your whole life, there is something that strikes you deep within, which is that the body you see is just a dried husk. I can understand what grief can do to one and i also understand that one day love might be reduced to a physical explanation of interacting chemicals, but there many things in our lives which seem to have the most meaning and which are not material or observable.

Art, music, love are not useful or often even logical or describable - but they often result in engendering the most profound of human experiences. Wtf is that all about?

Jazz music is more structured, but who in their right mind enjoys jazz, its rock 'm roll that sets your 'soul' alight and is felt in a deep primal guterall sense.

i dont think i'm making any sense, time for a nap.

[Ned]

I pretty much left Sant Mat after reading a lot of David Lane's stuff back in the 90's. I studied a lot of other spiritual paths and philosophies after that, but they all sounded like Sant Mat in one way or another to me (my own subjective projections and also some objective similarities).

Then I came to this point in my late 20's where I just couldn't stand spiritual-philosophical fuzzy-wuzzy any more. I couldn't accept any path and, in a way, I felt like a victim. These people were always renting my mind in promise of giving it back in a more enlightened condition. Generally, I just ended up more confused.

So, I dropped all the spiritual nonsense, at least for a while, and I started to practice Zen meditation. And, surprisingly, I had some phenomenal spiritual experiences. I think this had something to do with not having any expectation of said experience. And, also, the lack of intellectual arguments in my head about spirituality and philosophy. There was nothing to figure out, improve about myself, or any doctrine for me to uphold.

Eventually my mind caught up with me. For a while, I was on the downside of not believing in anything; meaning, I was in despair. I had never succeeded in being enlightened, so I wasn't sure what to do next.

I don't know if I could sum it up for you in the comments section of this blog. Maybe... upon realizing that I'm never going to be perfect, that I have nothing to prove to anyone, nor do I have to become a human shield for some guru or religion, I am free to love unconditionally. Then, I'm loving for the right reason-- which is for no reason at all.

[David]

To Brian,

Your blog reflects the things you usually read or see or hear. I wondered if you ever read any spiritual account and didn't immediately look it up from a skeptics viewpoint? The reason i ask is because i have noticed that when i am certain there are unexplained phenomena and i then look up skeptic explanations for it, i doubt it for a little while and then i always end up believing in it again if it happens to be true.

So, when was the last time you looked at an unexplained phenomena from an open minded point of view? Surely you cannot be so closed minded to think there is absolutely nothing mysterious about existence, life, the universe and your sense of self?

You will say you have thought about all this since you were born and up until one hour ago. But since science hasn't explained everything yet, what makes you so skeptical?

[Blogger Brian]

David, there's a lot of writing on this blog, so understandably you haven't come across all of my paeans to mystery.

I love mystery. I embrace mystery. I sprinkle mystery on my breakfast cereal each morning. Here's some examples that I found through a Google search of "mystery" via the box in the right sidebar:

http://hinessight.blogs.com/church_of_the_churchless/2009/09/-primal-awe-the-mystery-of-existence.html

http://hinessight.blogs.com/church_of_the_churchless/2009/06/faith-the-embrace-of-mystery.html

http://hinessight.blogs.com/church_of_the_churchless/2008/09/reality-offers.html

http://hinessight.blogs.com/church_of_the_churchless/2010/11/matter-is-as-mysterious-as-spirit.html

I don't understand how you equate being skeptical with rejecting mystery. Actually, those who are skeptical of premature explanations are those who honor mystery, while religions do their best to explain away mystery through hypothetical concepts like "God" and "divine will."

Do you see what I mean?

Staring into the darkness beyond what is lit by a camp fire, a strange, startling, unfamiliar noise is heard. One person instantly says, "I know what that is. It's a raccoon." Another says, "I'm not so sure. Maybe we should take a look and see what's out there."

Which person most respects mystery? Which person is most open to the unknown? Which person is most willing to embrace reality, rather than a thought in one's head?

The person who is skeptical about a largely unfounded explanation of a mysterious phenomenon. That is, someone like me.