Yesterday the New York Times "outed" ChristWire, a web site whose banner reads "Conservative Values for an Unsaved World." It's hilarious. And also kind of disturbing, in the sense of The Onion.
Because it's sort of scary when ridiculous stories can be taken seriously by lots of people. How can the United States, or the world, manage its affairs properly when a near-majority of so-called Homo sapiens are more validly called village idiots?
The New York Times story is called "A Niche of the Unreal in a World of Credulity."
ChristWire has lately reached new levels of popularity, in part thanks to an Aug. 14 column, “Is My Husband Gay?” Written by Stephenson Billings, the piece is a 15-point checklist to help wives detect possibly closeted husbands. “Gym membership but no interest in sports” is one warning sign. So is “Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends” and “Love of pop culture.”
“Is My Husband Gay?” was picked up on The Huffington Post and mentioned by Ryan Seacrest on his radio show; so far it has been viewed 8.3 million times.
Oh, by the way: ChristWire is all one big joke.
Not the readership — which hit a high of 27 million page views in August — but the content, the opinions and the fake authors who write the stuff. (There is no “Stephenson Billings.”) Neither of the two founders is a conservative Christian. They are just like-minded 28-year-olds who met on the Internet, have never seen each other in person, and until this week had never given their real identities to a reporter.
True to form, the ChristWire folks reacted vehemently to Mark Oppenheimer, who wrote the Times piece.
I cannot begin to understand what lies behind the minds of men like Bryan Butvidas, Kirwin Watson and Mark Oppenheimer. If maybe one of them had contacted me or any of the other representatives of Christwire, we would have set them straight. Maybe they hoped to profit by strong-arming their way into this site. Maybe they hatched some illicit advertising scheme and wanted to cash in. Maybe they are addicted to publicity, like the dimwitted and lonely men who confess to crimes they did not commit. Could this whole blowup be the result of a pharmaceutical insufficiency or a pharmaceutical overindulgence? Looking at the photographs of these two online does make one wonder about mental health. There is also a chance that they are nothing more than highly-placed atheists seeking to discredit established Christian moralism.
I had a great time browsing around ChristWire after I learned about the site today. So far my favorite post is "Gays Invent New Wii Sex Toy, So Blacks Can Have Virtual Sex With White Women."
Two forces have come together to take their sexual lifestyle’s to a whole new level. One side likes inserting their satan scepters into other men’s sewer holes and the other likes to brainwash young white youth with 8-bit music and turn your lady home makers into “ho” makers. The two have combined forces to virtual sneak into your house and violate your American wife while you are hard at work trying to get by while Obama steals you health care plan.
I present to you the WiiRape toy by Nintendo! Now I know you’re asking yourself “Mr. Bowers, why would these two groups need to join forces to create this? I know the African American community is not fond of gays.” well I have a easy answer. The Afro-Saxon community is not very good at building electronics or handling money, so they asked the homo gay agenda to develop the product for them. Also, gays have a lot of money saved up because they work as bar tenders or florists and collect gay welfare at the same time. In return, the Afro-Saxon’s would make sure that each item that is sold, would come with a list of children in the buyers neighborhood. Now what Ellen marriage believer wouldn’t want that? A whole list of fresh meat to pray on?
So now that this product is in “A Store Near You!” Rappers can use the hipped hopped music they play on Bravo or TLC to brainwash your wifes and tell them to goto the nearest Circuit City and purchase the new Wii “Toy” with of course your hard earned cash. The item comes with a free game disgusted as a Opera CD, so that for sure a real male would never bother checking it out. What it really is, is a dating game that displays images of large black twiddle rompus’. Your wife can browse through categories like “Balla”, “Big Playa”, “Deez Nutz” and other hipped hopped lyrical terms. Once she picks what type she wishes to “play” with a video screen appears where your wife can be swindled by satan like sexy speak. Once your wife has been put into a trance, she will be asked to plug in the new Wiimote and on the other end the predator will be able to control the speed and has electric tips so the womens fish cave can be shocked. I think this is what is refereed to as “The Shocker.”
Now, you may ask “Where is little Billy, while mom is playing sin games?” Well, he is alone and looking for attention, which is what a homopedo predator looks for in a victim, before he plays twinkie stick rape games.
Nintendo should be ashamed for such vile inventions. What is next? The Lesbian Lick controller? or the Rainbow Butt Heckler attachment? I say we call for a recall on all Nintendo products before your wife and children are victims of hate crimes. Oh and guess who is a backer and fan of this product?
You also should take a look at "Jezebel.com Claims There Is No Such Things As Pandagators, Pandadogs." The post features a You Tube video that indeed shows proof of China's intent to build animal hybrids that they'll unleash upon our shores.
And there's some difficult-to-argue-with (unless you're a woman, but since you don't have a Y chromosome, your logical arguing faculties are handicapped, so don't bother) theological truths in the post.
Let us also remember that the Bible orders all women to remain in silence and observe. Do not forget that breaking the order from the Bible is a sure-fire way to have Satan order you up with a side of marinated sin, to digest for all times in the lowest belly bowels of hell.
this is photoshopped.
Posted by: kaitlyn | October 26, 2011 at 07:18 PM