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February 27, 2009

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Yea Brian, it's your subconscious mind reminding your to recall all your sins this blessed Lenten Season - LOL!!

No man, I can relate - I was raised in a very strong Catholic Family. The guilt was overwhelming at times. By the time I reached puberty, I thought I was going to hell for sure!

And even to this day, I am amazed at the emphasis on sinning that still exists in the Catholic Church. The Church seems to have moved into a much more conservative mindset - despite the more progressive changes brought about by Vatican 2 in the 60s.

Bob

It doesn't have to be a Catholic church to put guilt on you.

The evangelicals and the charismatics try to make you feel guilty if you don't tithe, witness to every person who comes across your path, join their particular denomination, volunteer your time, etc. There is a lot of pressure to fit into their mold.

Some of the pentecostal religions try to make you feel guilty if you have a skirt above the knee, or wear makeup, etc. It's very, very controlling. The bible says he whom the son sets free is free indeed. I believe religion puts God and people in a box.

I've been having a rough time dealing with real life stuff lately (bills, car repairs, credit cards, job satisfaction, all the golden oldies) and it recently caused some serious mental distress that I think is caused by guilt from my catholic days, and much of what you say in your tale corroborates my theory.
We seem to be speaking the same language, the apology at the checkout is a great example of all the little things I apologize for throughout the day.
The sapping power of guilt is something I can also vouche for, it paralyzes you from making a move in any direction for fear of the pain of remorse and a serious case of the coulda woulda shoulda's.
Even your Fuck It strategy is what I have attempted to adopt in an attempt to ditch the guilt, but for me it is a method of fluctuating efficacy.
I'm going through these rough real world situations and my brain seems to be girding its loins with its old methods of handling life; with a sense of shame and remorse to aid in my getting back onto the right track.
I feel more at ease for having read your blog, to know that what I'm going through is something that can happen to us former Catholics and that it is a dam blocking our inner selves (argh, cliches!) which can be dismantled and done away with.
I was going to apologize for the length of my comment, I've been planning out how to word it and everything, but, man, fuck that.

I was gonna read this all the way through..then I thought, 'fuck it!'...

I too am like this. It's programmed into your survival brain as a kid. you can literally tell a child anything that age and if you repeat it enough it'll stay there all your life!

so the best thing , cause you rationally no it's bollocks but you still have this judging feeling, is to just label it "old stuff" when it crops up.

Don't fight with it, it comes in all forms, faces, memories can always shout louder.

Just acknowledge it, label it, and move on.

It gradually goes, it just takes time.

Guilt free living as an imperfect human, how great would that be!!!

- i bet your brain has made a guilt trip about that!!! ha ha, it's mental -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP3VsZ7QD08

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