There's nothing wrong with churches that some churchlessness won't fix. After all, that's what this blog is. This morning I was inspired to become the first member of another churchless church, that of Holy Fuck!
In chartering this institution within my own psyche, my first decision was whether the exclamation point was necessary.
Grammatically, it could be confusing – as in the title of this post.
Does the ! go with the entire sentence, or just with Church of Holy Fuck! I've concluded that it's better to be confused than lackadaisical. Hence, I'm decreeing that an exclamation point shall always be part of the church's name.
If you don't agree, tough. Start your own church.
I'm hoping you'll convert to the Church of Holy Fuck! though, because it's a marvelous faith. It blends divinity and profanity, which strikes me as the only way to go through life.
Proving that my experience is in line with my philosophy, I can testify that Holy fuck! is a mantra that frequently springs to mind. I'm constantly being amazed and surprised by reality. And that's the church's only form of worship.
Befuddlement. At which point we believers in our own unknowing honor Most Majestic Reality with a heartfelt Holy fuck!
The cosmos has countless ways of revealing its holy fuckness. If you haven't encountered one of them by noon, you're probably still sleeping. Or, brain dead.
Today I was blessed with several Holy fuck!'s early in my day, before meditating. I'd reached the final chapters of "Decoding the Universe" by Charles Seife (subtitle: "How the New Science of Information Is Explaining Everything in the Cosmos, from Our Brains to Black Holes").
I find that science books are one of the best means of eliciting a Holy fuck! in me. Religious, spiritual, metaphysical, and philosophy books usually start with a mystery, then try to explain it in a reasonable and pleasing fashion.
For example, the mystery of death. Explanation: Jesus died so that you might have eternal life (Christian version). Problem solved.
Religion appeals to those who want neat and tidy explanations that elicit a Praise the Lord! Science, on the other hand, often begins with a question and ends with a Holy fuck!
I like that. It just seems like whatever reality really is, it's unlikely to be understandable by a human consciousness. So I feel like I'm coming closer to ultimate reality, rather than further away, when my mind is blown.
Not by absurdity, which is what religion offers up. But by a reasonable chain of logic that ends by dangling us over an abyss of Holy fuck!
For example, Seife describes the extent of the knowable universe:
Since information travels no faster than the speed of light, if you draw an invisible, enormous (but finite) sphere around the Earth that has a radius of tens of billions of light-years, you encompass all of the universe that has been able to send information to us since the moment when light was set free [about 400,000 years after the big bang].
He calls this sphere the Hubble bubble. It has a radius of about 40 billion light-years. That's more than the 13.7 billion light year age of the universe, because the fabric of space has been expanding faster than the speed of light.
But for the Church of Holy Fuck! it doesn't matter what the size of the Hubble bubble, the potentially observable universe, is. The key word in the quote above is "finite."
Because Seife says that "at the moment, scientists believe that our universe is infinite in extent – that it has no borders – and that it doesn't have a funky shape that curls around on itself, as a handful of scientists have unconvincingly argued."
OK. That was news to me. I'll accept it, in part because I enjoy the Holy fuck! that comes from doing so.
If the Hubble bubble where we are is finite, and the universe is infinite, then quantum theory leads to some mind- blowing conclusions.
The wave function captures every single piece of information about all the stuff – all the matter and energy – in our Hubble bubble, whether we are aware of it or not. It encodes the location and momentum of every single atom in that Hubble bubble, as well as everything else you can possible imagine about our bubble.
In it are encoded the position and color of every lightbulb on Piccadilly Circus, the velocity of every fish in the sea, and the contents of every single book that exists on Earth. Our Hubble bubble's wave function even includes your wave function; it encodes every single morsel of information about you, down to the quantum states of each atom in your body.
Though this is an unbelievably large amount of information, our Hubble bubble's wave function contains everything about our visible universe. Just for the heck of it, let's call it wave function #153.
Now, here's where it gets fun.
I've read quite a bit about the "multiple universes" theory in quantum physics, and have discounted it as fanciful mumbo-jumbo. Seife, though, got me to see the Holy fuck! of it by emphasizing what happens if you have a finite Hubble bubble within an infinite universe.
There are only a finite number of wave functions for a Hubble volume. There are an unbelievably, unbelievably huge number of possible wave functions (call it a kergillion), but that number is finite nonetheless. So our wave function is one of kergillion possible wave functions.
…But remember, there are an infinite number of these Hubble bubbles in an infinite universe. Infinity is more than a kergillion – even more than a kergillion plus one. And once we reach a kergillion-plus-one Hubble bubbles, something incredible must have happened.
There are only a kergillion possible wave functions a Hubble bubble can have, so in a collection of a kergillion-plus-one Hubble bubbles, there must be at least one duplicate! Two Hubble bubbles must have exactly the same wave function. Every atom, every particle, every little dollop of energy is in exactly the same place, has exactly the same momentum, and is exactly the same in every single possible way you can imagine – and even in the ways that you can't imagine.
But in an infinite universe, there isn't just going to be one duplicate. Infinity just keeps on going… and going… and going.
If there's nothing particularly special about our wave function, then in a volume that contains a million kergillion Hubble bubbles, there are about a million identical copies of our universe.
…Each of those Hubble bubbles even contains an identical copy of your wave function – down to the quantum states of each atom in your body. There are a million copies of you, identical in every detail. In fact, those million dopplegangers are reading a doppelganger copy of this book and are finishing this paragraph as you are, right … now.
Doesn't matter if this is true. No one can know. Seife says, "Of all the insane things that I have tried to convince you of in this book, this is by far the craziest. I, myself, have a very, very hard time believing it…But the logic seems fairly airtight."
Do you want to live forever? In a sense, you will. Because "you" aren't at all unique, if the universe is infinite.
Each of us is purely and solely information – that's difficult to argue against, even (or especially) if one favors a mystical, non-material conception of the cosmos. After all, a soul, or spirit, must be something knowable, if only by God or the soul/spirit entity itself.
Yet there is good reason to believe that within the infinity of existence, everything exists an infinite number of times.
I like that notion. It makes eventually not being the particular being I call "me" more palatable. There are back-up Brian's scattered around all over. Just not close at hand.
Indeed, if the universe is infinite, then physicists estimate that an identical Hubble bubble should be roughly [10 to the 10th to the 115th] meters away from us. Of course, you'd never be able to communicate with your doppelganger, as it would be vastly, vastly more distant than the edge of our visible universe, but if the universe is infinite, that doppelganger should be there nonetheless.
Greetings, infinite number of identical Brian's!
I realize that we can't know each other, but I still want to extend a hearty Holy fuck! to each of you nonetheless – which each of us has just written on our IBM Think Pad simultaneously.
There's some downside to this finite Hubble bubble deal, though. A huge downside. Its description will have to wait for a post on another day.
And another Holy fuck!
Holy Fuck! I love this!
Posted by: Satan | May 06, 2011 at 12:46 AM
So are we aware of, or connected somehow
to, our other duplicates ?
Being that we don't have a self,
it might seem that we are not. (?)
Posted by: Mike Williams | May 06, 2011 at 07:40 PM
There could be multiple imagined universes occupied by imagined duplicate selves.
Like when two mirrors are placed facing each other with an object in the middle and the image of the object is reflected back and forth infititely without end from one mirror to the other.
Posted by: tucson | May 07, 2011 at 09:47 AM
I was having a hard enough time
on the subject of multi universes
and multiple images of myself in these multiple universes.
Now you make it even more complicated.
After reading your post on infinite
mirrors, I noticed steam started coming
out of my head.
I glowed red like a fireball
and I had to dunk my head in the bath
tub to cool off.
Now I really don't know WHO I AM.
Posted by: Mike Williams | May 07, 2011 at 02:11 PM
Yes, this mirror thing can blow 'you' to smithereens.
Don't worry though. It's all imaginary.
I have, from time to time, referred satsangi friends and acquaintences to both your work on "Secret History" and David Lane's research as well. It is amazing that these satsangis continue to keep the faith, and even more amazingly, remain friendly with me. Or, maybe they're just being polite and tolerant of their wayward infidel friend.
I can understand why they want to follow their phoney (imo) guru. There is comfort in believing you are being taken care of and that the mysteries of life will be unraveled, but it really upsets me when I see them pass up all the tasty cheeses made with rennet or my wife's superb gluten-free muffins that contain unfertilized eggs. One bite and the fruit of years of meditation goes down the drain I guess. Oh well.
There is no way, no way at all, that I could remain faithful to RS even if a fraction of what you guys have presented is true. However, my departure from RS was a result of personal evolution and the common sense realization that I had no logical grounds upon which to base my faith. Who is this guy that is supposed to be a "master"? How do I know what he is or can do? Even if he flew in on a magic carpet that would prove nothing.
I was at a satsang once many years ago given by, of all people, David Lane who spoke eloquently on the greatness and need of a perfect master, in this case, Charan Singh. Since then, in emails, we expressed our amazement how we ever could have bought into the RS dogma and cosmology.
It can be rough at first facing the seas of infinity in a boat without the oars of faith until, that is, it is seen that there is no boat. Only the sea my friends. Only the sea.
Posted by: tucson | May 07, 2011 at 05:17 PM
I had an unusual view of Radhasoami
having been in all groups.
Seen it from every angle.
Lost track of how many Gurus
initiated me and how many groups
I have studied.
My experience seems to match
U. G. Krishnamurti.
Seeing these Gurus behind the scenes
is key to understanding them. It is not
what they SAY on camera that matters.
It is what these Gurus DO off camera
that is the tell. I always got behind
So, when I listen to people talk about
these Gurus now days, I am astonished.
Because, what is said about these Gurus
is almost totally incorrect.
These Gurus are nothing like what
people say they are now a days.
I can't believe they are talking about
Gurus I knew and pretending such
insight on them, with such authority.
It's all bull crap.
Some of these Gurus were incredibly
nice people. Some were literally
Yet, I find my opinions, having known
these Gurus, completely opposite of
These Gurus were extremely conflicted.
Some very intelligent, others of
extreme simplicity. Some wonderful
people, some angry and bitter, full
of venemous hate.
But, what was most interesting, is what
these high powered Gurus thought of
For instance, David Lane once said Darshan
Singh gave him a message to give
to Charan Singh. That being, Darshan wished
he could be the shoe laces on his boots.
People didn't believe Dave. But, that is
exactly what happens behind the scenes.
When I knew all these Gurus, they were
aware of my relationship with Jiddo
They would ask me all types of questions
about him and then give me messages to
give to Jiddo Krishnamurti.
This happened with other Gurus whom
found out I knew other Gurus.
I passed messages between them.
These Gurus all know of each other.
They copy each other.
They mimic success. They read each
others books. Even Ramana Maharshi
had a full book case of other Gurus.
But, behind the scenes, they know
who the best Gurus are. Because many
actually believe what they teach
and can admire another Guru.
Notice Gurinder is now changing towards
a jnani type yoga ?
In India, it has long been yogic
tradition, the jnani is the highest
Not the kundalini master. The Gurus all know
Because they all know ONLY the jnani is
The general public does not know this,
or they would switch masters if their
Guru told them so.
So, at a very young age, I was finding
out that the jnani was highest from
Yet, there are mostly fake jnanis,
such as Osho (Rajneesh). They can
parrot the real jnani with remarkable
similarity. Bubba Free John, was a
remarkable parrot of the jnani, although his master was of kundalini origin, Free John was mostly teaching jnani. I believe
he transposed Alan Watts a lot.
The Zen do a good job of parroting
Only an extremely honest person
can ever find the truth.
A truly honest person.
The truth is the most painful
experience in the world.
It would be easier to invade the beaches
of Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal, then
to deal with the truth.
Quote U. G. Krishnamurti :
"If people knew what enlightenment
was, they would not touch it with
a ten foot barge pole."
Quote Susan Blackmore :
"No one is experiencing.... experience".
Posted by: Mike Williams | May 08, 2011 at 06:17 AM
I want to join with
Posted by: shaikmoosakhan | April 27, 2014 at 12:00 AM