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January 20, 2008


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You know what, I got attracted to Sant Mat after watching a Sant Mat devotee/initiate who could meditate hours at a stretch without moving a muscle. He was also unassuming.

However, that man died in a mystic manner. He gave over the keys and documents of his house and shop to his son just the day before he died in apparently good health at a relatively young age (he was barely 50). The medical reason was heart failure. However, he died cool while watching TV.

I think that is the best death that can ever happen. No trouble and no shit.

Now after nearly a decade of Sant Mat brainwash, I guess that he was also an unconscious Buddhist. Several times we confuse great initiates to be products of Sant Mat, while in fact it is their personal power that makes them what they are.

If one can really meditate two and half hours at a stretch without moving a muscle, he automatically gets a halo around him and becomes an unconscious Zen/Buddhist. I guess that is the way it is.

As for me, I still don't want to label myself in any manner. I just want to be myself.


I believe that Dr. Khanna may have posted on the RS ex site a few years ago under an anonymous name. Did you happen to read those posts...whew!!?


I may have a few

Deepak, good points. Often I think that it's more true that people are drawn to religions/spiritual paths that fit their personality, than that religions/spiritual paths make people what they are.

Bob, I dimly recall the posts you're referring to. I couldn't find them via a search on the Ex-Sat and RS discussion groups. If you have them, please share.

I'm always suspicious about attributing an author to anonymous posts. However, I seem to remember a post that did indeed appear to be written by Dr. Khanna. The details escape me.


I would also like to read any of those posts by Dr. Khanna on the "RS-ex" website. Please post links if you have them.




Regarding Buddhism: We know it has many forms, some very religious and structured. However, I have found that when you take Buddhism to it's lowest common denominator it comes down to this...just This, and that's it.

When following RS, This is always there, that is, someplace else. As soon as 'there' becomes This, you step off the RS train. No where to go, no place else to be.


Here is a series of posts by Waking Now that were posted on the Ex Satsangi site in 2002.

I want to be cystal clear with everyone that I have NO CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE regarding who the poster was.

Nonetheless, I found them quite interesting and revealing.

Waking Now Documents

January 22, 2002

I have been reading posts here for some time and have appreciated that many of you have seen through the facade of RSS Beas.

I came in contact with RSS Beas as a teenager 50 years ago, slid into the cult in the early fifties, became a functionary, and officially left in the early nineties.

Since leaving I am learning to live by my own light. I have delved into the roots of the spiritual traditions of my Indian culture by readings and pilgrimages and have understood the workings of the RSS Beas feudal religious cult within which I was caught for a very long time. This reminds me of the Sawan Singh quote: ‘Santmat is not taught, it is caught’, I would say, ‘Santmat is not taught, the Satsangi is caught’.

I have decided to post here in the hope that I might shine more helpful light.

I wish to recount an experience for you.

A long time resident of the Dera died last Summer.

She was an Army Officer's Widow and had no children. She lived in a house across the Grounds from the Western Guest House and was friendly to some Westerners.

A few years ago , out of the blue, she told me:

“You know, I could be a very rich woman”.

“What do you mean”, I asked.

She said," Many years ago, Maharaj Ji(Charan Singh) asked me to Will my property to the Dera". (She had a house which she and her late husband had built
in the Defence Colony, a good locality of New Delhi.)

She said, I protested and said, "Maharaj Ji, I am still very young" .He disregarded my protest, and continued," and your Will should be witnessed by (naming a Dera inner circle person of the time)".

(She did as she was asked to do, and remained a privileged inner circle woman during most of Maharaj Ji's reign. She told a friend of an occasion when Maharaj Ji told her, “You are spending too much money on yourself, remember it belongs to Dera”.)

She continued:

"When my relatives find out, they will be very unhappy".

"Why don't you change your Will", I said.

"How can I do that, I gave my property to Maharaj Ji", she said.

Her Will is likely probated by now.

The woman was very dissatisfied in her last years. Believing the teaching that 'All Gurus are One' she had expected that the Successor would respect the privileged position given her by her own Guru.

“Where can I go now in old age", she said to a friend.

Can her relatives make a claim that she wrote the Will under extraordinary pressure from the Godman at whose pleasure everyone lives at the Dera?

Some of you may guess who I am. Please use my Yahoo ID in your responses.

Thank you.

January 22, 2002

She was no longer happy there and the thought of moving out had crossed her mind, but where could she go to find community having distanced herself during her Charan Singh devotee years from her relatives and friends.

But the theology of giving one's all to the Guru for good spiritual benefit was so deeply etched in her mind that she felt that her property and possessions were no longer her own to do as she might please.

I was struck that at this late stage in her life she was thinking of her relatives who could benefit from her bequest but seemed mentally paralyzed to change her Will.

I think Gurinder would have known that her Delhi property, which had appreciated astronomically, was Willed to the Dera (he had a friend - a distant relative, living in one of the flats in her property) so he would be careful not to rock the boat so hard that she would leave and then be empowered to change her Will . But his seeming neglect of her was hard on her.

January 22, 2002

After learning of the Lady being pressured to Will her property to the Dera, I spoke to a friend of hers. She told me that she had also heard of this from the Lady.

She said there were two opinions about what Maharaj Ji (Charan singh) had done.

One, that He had sanctified her husband's wealth by asking for it and had saved her from going astray in life considering that she was a vivacious and wealthy widow who could have many suitors

And the other, that he had wanted to clip her wings and pin her down to the Dera so she could add her charm to an inner circle who met him for light entertaining chats.

January 23, 2002

Charan Singh liked to collect woman's jewellery.

A satsangi woman told me that once Charan Singh pressured her to accompany him on a satsang trip to a city in Rajasthan. When they reached there, he prepared to go to give satsang but told her to go and look for antique jewellery for him. She went looking and found some good deals from villagers who brought jewellery for sale in the market .

When Charan Singh and his party returned from the satsang, a Dera official told her that he had seen her come with Maharaj Ji but had not seen her at the satsang. She said she had some work to do, but did not disclose wha the assignment from Maharaj Ji was. That secrecy of not disclosing any personal interaction with Maharaj Ji was part of the Dera culture to which adherence was necessary for all inner circle people.

In a family if some members had an engagement with Maharaj Ji, they were expected not to disclose this even to their satsangi family members. This was a loyalty test used by Maharaj Ji to select the privileged ones. I myself have been a guest in a relative's home who told me they had an evening engagement and later at night talked of their Royal visit during which I had figured in some conversation.

January 23, 2002

No, I had decided to leave a few years before Charan Singh died, but I wanted the timing to minimize the effect on my family members who were devoted satsangis. After Gurinder became the successor, I saw a big push towards centralized control and told him I wanted to leave because I was not an organization man. He requested me to remain until he got to know key people to which I agreed. When he started his initiation program I realized I couldn't do that any longer and so found the timing.

However, Gurinder did not understand that I was not only leaving my position but stepping out of the institution. Initially there was a lot of pressure on me to continue to attend satsangs including a visit from a preacher sent by him telling me dramatically that those who leave the Guru's door go to hell. Gurinder also complained to some of my relatives and made them uncomfortable- “look what he has done”.

January 23, 2002

Gurudom, the feudal kingdom of the Guru in which his subjects(mass-initiated disciples) have a real teaching relationship with him is fundamentally dishonest. The relationship is one of power but the marketing words suggest a real (fantasy) spiritual one (love, they say).

Gurudom has appropriated the benefits extolled in poetry of the wonderful Indian tradition of learning in which a small number of students (chelas) have the intimate company of their teacher (Guru) for a number of years and learn ways of being to allow them authentic expression, and converted that hallowed tradition into a Mass movement.

The masses are inducted into the Gurudom through a psychologically stressful initiation ceremony and encouraged to develop fantasy relationships with the Guru Emperor to project specific mental states touted to be godly ones with little or no real formation of character other than that of slaves.(I will write about this later)

And what do the masses need to be kept in line, bread and circus as the French say, for which ample opportunity is provided in food services, construction projects coming to fruition and choreographed mass meetings for continued indoctrination.

January 23, 2002

Thank you.

The Gurus have to speak for themselves but Charan and Gurinder's interests and activities in our mundane world suggest to me that the experience of sublime regions, which they preached, either did not touch them or did not enthralled them.

Regarding meditation, I am convinced that the RS meditation chore is simply a way of getting lost for a while in a mental space which may be relaxing for short periods but does not increase our inherent capacity for being attentive and enjoying our ever flowing world. On the other hand the theology that goes with the RS meditation certainly makes our beautiful world insipid for the cult members and therby deadens them. (Is this their ‘dying while living’?)

Of course the RS meditation chore can be used as the cult r itual but I know of people badly harmed by it. If someone is listening, I tell them to get away from it.

To the intial chagrin of some RS cult members, I am totally free of the ritual for very many years.

But I would advise learning to be centered within oneself just by sitting quietly so that we can be in that wonderful open mental state in our daily ordinary life.

January 23, 2002

The first seed of doubt came to me on picking up Krishnamurti's book, Think on These Things, at a US airport. I realized for the first time that there was an important area in my life which I had accepted without my own questioning. That prompted me to learn of my Indian spiritual traditions first through readings whatever I felt like reading and later through travel to whichever places of pilgrimage in India caught my intution.

I was struck by the grandness of the Indian vision expressed in the Great Sayings such as ‘You are That’ which gave every human being the highest possible inherent value and also by the Eternal expressed in the stillness and silence as well as in the Eternal Dance of the symbols for Shiva.

I realized clearly that Sikhism was a branch of the Hindu tradition and Radhasoami was a branch of Sikhism and during the process of branching the wholeness of life at the roots was lost.

From there I moved to a study of the Buddhist traditions and realized that the stillness and silence of Buddha and the stillness and silence of Shiva were the same.

I also realized that all effort to obtain spiritual (mental) experiences was a terrible waste of one’s time and energy and took one away from the wonderful opportunity to respond attentively to what faced us at every moment coming to us, one by one, always newborn. I shudder at the stories I heard at the Dera of these ‘advanced souls’ moving about there with their attention in their Guru’s form or in some brain sounds, while the precious newborn unique moments slipped away for lack of full attention.

When I finally left RSS Beas and faced cultic wrath, I had a Great Doubt and some anger in what had trapped me in all those years and the habitual attachments just fell away.

I have of course to contend with a diminutive social life because I jettisoned my cult world view and the people there are not comfortable with free thinkers.I have family members who are unwilling to respond to questions about their life from their own true perspective. The mental straitjacket and the lack of joy which I see in their life is sad.

I have now settled in the Zen way of living our ordinary life attentively as the most dignified way to live.

January 23, 2002

I am now much more trusting of my body sense of ease or unease to guide me.
I remember sitting in Charan Singh's morning talks (satsang is what they call it) at the Dera and feeling terribly bored and waiting for his speech to finish so I could hear a few lines of the chanting. And I felt guilty not being able to concentrate to listen to the supposedly beneficial discourse, so next round I tried even harder to concentrate resulting in even more strain and discomfort. Or waiting bored at the Evening meeting for the talk to end so some life might appear during the question and answer period. At the time, I did not realize that my body was trying to tell me something.

Finally, the year before I got out, one day as everyone prepared to go to satsang, heavy monsoon rains began with blowing winds. I told the family members I am not going and when they left, I took my shirt off and went in the front yard and allowed myself to be soaked in the heavy rain for the next twenty minutes.

Surprisingly, that’s one of the most pleasant memories I have of the place.

Bob, thanks for sharing the posts. As you said, it isn't known whether these were written by Dr. Khanna or someone else.

But they do seem to be written by a person who was intimately connected with Dera goings-on.

Bob, thanks, too, for relaying the above posts; very interesting.

'RSSB Feudal Religious Cult' speaks volumes of back-tracking to a time when kings were God (with absolute and magical power)and serfs submitted. Today, History decribes these kings as very flawed individuals and few people would see them as God.

Appealing to our desire to escape, to have it all eventually, safely and happily ever after, the 'Guru-is-everything, disciple-is-nothing' based approach is no different to that of the King and Serf, except that it has a feel good comfort in the beginning.

Much as escaping into eating a very large stick of toffee with 'I am the best toffee and will make you safe and happy,' on the label, feels good for a moment only; buying into the G-is-E method causes increasing debilitation through dependancy after the initial euphoria.

You mention 'reality bubbling through blind faith' and that view rings true with the original admonitions of Guru Nanak against "Andh Visvas" or Blind Faith. But even while remembering this the mind is still attracted to a charismatic guru and a community of like minded peoples. Buddha gave us three gifts, the Buddha, Dhamma, and the Sangat. He spoke of them as having equal weight and value. In the case of RSSB it appears the Guru or Buddh has raised himself over the way (Dharma) and the Sat Sang (Community). Perhaps we're all sentenced to this tension between affiliation and and independence. Thanks for sharing your personal experiences.

Hi Kanwarbir,

you write:

Perhaps we're all sentenced to this tension between affiliation and independence.

Thanks for this insightful observation. One piece that helps for me is acknowledging that satsangis may have the same goal, but still may (will) be remarkably different from each other. This is a fact of life. Some people benefit from satsang, others prefer to stay home and do their own thing. Neither path is better. It is only a shame when one is judged for flowing in the way they do...

I wonder what RakeshJi and other RSSB followers who write on this blog think about the 'series of post of an exsatsangi (probably Jiti Khanna)' posted by Bob?

RakeshJi..I really want to know what do you think about the allegations posted by somebody (Jiti Khanna) about Dera..

Yeah, Rakeshji, even I want to know your views on this bombshell.


This is obviously the same Jiti Khanna who these days writes ultra-right-wing rant letters to local and other canadian newspapers. For example:

By Jiti Khanna, Vancouver Sun March 10, 2010

" Now that global-warming scaremongering has been revealed as a "reckless propaganda designed to panic the politicians . . . to pay tens of trillions of dollars" toward a totalitarian global agenda to control economic activity and redistribute wealth, will our politicians let go of their save-the-planet fantasy and dismantle the carbon tax, cap-and-trade and other uneconomic green energy mandates and allow Canadians' free-market economic activity to create wealth?"

Jiti Khanna

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