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May 31, 2007


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So the Gordian knot represents the old regime of academic discourse, and Alexander's sword represents the new culture of brute force as applied science.

Every year, the green man is carried through town and then beaten to death by the children, so the crops will be fertile.

But here's the Jungian kicker, right out of suttee: "Calling up a prayer that she may, in some future birth, be born the daughter of a father whom she could respect, Dākshāyani invoked her yogic powers and immolated herself."

Le roi est mort, long vivent le roi.


For a more traditional perspective, you can look at this whole dream from a Freudian angle -

1. " I had a gun, but it wouldn't fire."
2. "The trigger mechanism was devilishly hard to pull. It kept freezing up just before a shot should have been fired"
3. "Revolver interruptus."
4. I was on top of him as we struggled on the ground. I picked up a good-sized rock."
5. "Nobody is going to come."
6. "A line broke. Oil started spurting out."
7. "All I needed to do was get past the turning point:"

I'm not sure if this dream is about being a closet atheist, but then again, I'm not sure about a lot of things. However, I am pretty positive that you have ignored the fact that this past May 25th was the 30th anniversary of Star Wars. You remember that story don't you, Brian? Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader.

You don't need a rock, Brian, to kill that man, "Look around, don't panic. You'll find that you have what you need to deal with the situation within reach. Just look."

May the force be with you.

Dear Brian,

Experience(s) --> interpretation(s). Wu.

Robert Paul Howard


I've had this recurring dream for years. Especially when I get lax on my meditation. I finally figured it out. When I am chased, being attacked, running away, seeing strangers coming after me, killing, mahem, all that you describe. It turns out that IT IS ME.

It is my own conscious coming after me. Trying to tell me not to give up and that I have been lax in meditation. When I get back on track the dreams stop.

In your case it may be your budding atheism that is bothering your conscious. Just like I tried to go back to eating meat.

I said, WTF, if this is not a reality, meaning RSSB, then why should I be a veg? Why should I NOT drink wine, etc? I tried it. It was a disaster paying the karmas back. I also stopped meditating for a while for same reason. That was not a disaster because my life did not change.

One thing remained the same, my karmas were precipitated just the same as they had been set in motion to precipitate. But THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE. I am telling you. Even if it is only your SELF.



Here is a quote that I came across in response to your comments - "Nobody has come after close to forty years of daily meditation. Nobody other than me, and sometimes even he didn't show up. So what are the chances that an outside rescuer is going to appear before the end of my life? Pretty darn slim."

The quote -

"O my God, how does it happen in this poor old world that Thou art so great and yet nobody finds Thee, that Thou callest so loudly and nobody hears Thee, that thou art so near and nobody feels Thee, that Thou givest Thyself to everybody and nobody knows Thy name? Men flee from Thee and say they cannot see thee; they stop their ears and say they cannot hear Thee."

--Hans Denk, quoted in Aldous Huxley’s The Perennial Philosophy

The answer to Denk is this:

Objective existence is a myth.
Non-objective existence is absolute.
God is not an object.
The eye can't see itself.

Not two.
Not even One!! Because no 'one' can be found without making it two (subject and object). Nothing is everything.


From the Suzuki version of Shubun's "Ten Oxherding Pictures," here's the pentultimate panel:

"9. The Solitary Moon
Nowhere is the beast, and the oxherd is master of his time,
He is a solitary cloud wafting lightly along the mountain peaks;
Clapping his hands he sings joyfully in the moon-light,
But remember a last wall is still left barring his homeward walk."

Always they come here and bring with them their last wall. Beyond this post, under the moon, mu.

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