Demotivation heals my overly positive soul

After watching "The Secret," which urged me to frolic in an orgy of positivity, I felt unbalanced. So I prescribed myself fifteen minutes of negative rehab and headed over to Despair, Inc. for some demotivation.

Reading the slogan on The Pessimist's Mug got me started on the road of recovery: "This glass is now half empty." Ah, truth simply spoken.

I was sorry that, being retired, I didn't have any employee morale to crush, as "The Art of Demotivation" looked like an appealing book.

What really got me back to feeling my normal uninspired self, though, was a terrific line of demotivational posters. And Despair, Inc's. introduction to them, which resonated with my churchless soul.

MOTIVATION. Psychology tells us that motivation- true, lasting motivation- can only come from within. Common sense tells us it can't be manufactured or productized. So how is it that a multi-billion dollar industry thrives through the sale of motivational commodities and services? Because, in our world of instant gratification, people desperately want to believe that there are simple solutions to complex problems. And when desperation has disposable income, market opportunities abound.

AT DESPAIR, INC., we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators® designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!

Chortling my way through the collection with habitual cynical glee, I was back to feeling normal again. Here are some of my favorite images and sayings.

Fear.
Until you have courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.

Ambition.
The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

Change.
It's a short trip from riding the waves of change to being torn apart by the jaws of defeat.

Despair.
It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

Lastly, my favorite, because I know the joy whereof this poster speaks (thanks to all of the politicians, science-deniers, religious fundamentalists, and so many others, for making it possible).

Delusions.
There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.

Comments

[Garden Philosopher]

You had me laughing out loud.

Here's another interesting take on the Law of Attraction in the LA Times.

Self-help gone nutty
A craze called 'The Secret' blends Tony Robbins with 'The Da Vinci Code,' telling people to have it all without trying.

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-klein13feb13,0,3953992.story?coll=la-opinion-rightrail

[Marcel Cairo]

Brian,

Don't know if you ever worked in corporate america, but reading the demotivation website is what keeps most cube prisoners from assinating fellow co-workers and managers.

If you ever need a reminder of how lucky you are, be grateful you've never worked in a bank, or any other place where, on a daily basis, you can still hear the regurgitation of 1990's left-over catch phrases such as "let's pump up the volume" and "show me the money."

[Howard]

Brian,

I found the demotivational posters absolutely hilariaous and I have sent that website to many of my cynical friends. It further reminded me of the pollyannish nonsense so many "spiritual" people blindly believe. I thought many of the posters would be very appropriate to hang up at satsang. I doubt many reps would agree with this. I always hated those inspirational posters because they were completgely out of touch with everyday experience. I am glad to know someone is fighting back and glad you showed this to me, thanks.

[Kerry]

You made my New Year's Eve. I want one of those posters. Thanks for validating my reality. Signed,

a reformed Kool-Aid drinker