Proofs that God exists

Well, it’s hard to argue with over three hundred proofs of God’s existence. Guess I’m going to have to become a believer.

Oh, darn. By mistake I clicked the next link down on the Atheists of Silicon Valley “Humor” page. Now I know there are about an equal number of disproofs of God’s existence.

Now I’m confused. Got to get my faith back.

I went down the proofs list and found a bunch that made beautiful sense to me. Especially after drinking a bottle of wine and watching Fox News for an hour. Once my incredulity neurons were stupefied, it was clear:

God exists.

Read on and believe.

ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES
(1) My aunt had cancer.
(2) The doctors gave her all these horrible treatments.
(3) My aunt prayed to God and now she doesn't have cancer.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPLETE DEVASTATION
(1) A plane crashed killing 143 passengers and crew.
(2) But one child survived with only third-degree burns.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS
(1) Ask Atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the Atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM LONELINESS
(1) Christians say that Jesus is their best friend.
(2) I'm lonely, and I want a best friend.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CREATIVE INTERPRETATION
(1) God is:
(a) The feeling you have when you look at a newborn baby.
(b) The love of a mother for her child.
(c) That little still voice in your heart.
(d) Humankind's potential to overcome their difficulties.
(e) How I feel when I look at a sunset.
(f) The taste of ice cream on a hot day.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM SUBJECTIVITY
(1) Everything is subjective.
(2) No subjective proof can be superior to any other subjective proof.
(3) Based upon my subjective opinion, your opinion, that if everything is subjective then, perforce, God is subjective, is false.
(4) Therefore, God (objectively) exists.

PROOF BY ANECDOTE
(1) God can be seen by those who believe in Him.
(2) If the God is seen, then He must exist.
(3) I have seen God.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF DISPROOF
(1) You can't prove God doesn't exist!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

Comments

[Edward]

The elves that talk to me and the Green Lady that visits me in my sleep all agree that this is not funny. They all believe in God, but they will not tell me why.

[ET]

Brian, throughout history, in all cultures of the world, people have been convinced there is a God. Billions of people, who represent diverse sociological, intellectual, emotional, educational makeup all came to the same conclusion that there is a Creator, a God.

Of course we know of St. Thomas Aquinas (1225- 1274), a Philosopher, and theologian, who had quite a bit to say on this subject. He had his proofs of god such as the ‘uncaused cause.’ However, the most interesting, in my view is from Godel who showed that that for any formal axiomatic system, there is always a statement about natural numbers which is true, but which cannot be proven in the system.

So in other words, mathematics will always have a little fuzziness around the edges, and IMHO so it is with the proof of god, it is obviously true, but improvable.

ET

[tao]

Oh God !... I think I am going to vomit. If these are the only "proofs" that believers can come up with, then religion needs a blood transfusion and faith is another name for brainless.

As for ET's "billions of people" with "diverse makeup"... intelligence and wisdom will never be based upon population numbers. Nor does a term "uncaused cause" constitute proof of anything at all. Such terms or concepts will never amount to proof.

[Nick]

It would seem to be a truth that proof of God may not be demonstrated.
A lot of it is in the language. You may simply call God the feeling of Being, or the sense of Oneness, the bedrock of existence. The only proof then required is ones own internal realisation.
But, heres the interesting thing. A world of objective matter wholly separate from the senses and mind cannot be proven to exist either.
There is no way beyond the radical empricism of David Hume in this regard.
If you wish to step beyond into the assumption of matter that is fine, but it remains at the level of pure conjecture.
Both matter and God are metaphysical propositions in the philosophical sense.

[spooky]

I love Godel, he got to something. Most of his ideas I forgot, but what he proved was that some stuff cant be proven. Do I understand it well? I should re-read it....

[spooky]

What do you guys think about a theorie I read here, or heard somewhere, I forgot that too, mmpf, that our brain would become more powerfull when the bloodflow through it would become more intens, and then our capabilities expand....Perhaps then we could go imperically have a better understanding about what proof means, what it is and how this relates to such questions about god.

[Sophmore]

Young Student: Does God exist?

Old Teacher: God is like the Tao. Define the Tao and you can guarantee that is not the Tao.

Young Student: Im confused.

Old Teacher: Perfect.

[RandomStu]

While the above-described "ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS" isn't a proof of any of our ideas of God (e.g., the Judeo-Christian God, the Yogic God, etc), it is indeed a fine argument that the fundamental meaning of our existence in the universe is something we DON'T KNOW.

As Socrates pointed out long ago, knowing the answer to the Great Question "What am I?" isn't necessary, but understanding that "Don't Know" is something valuable.

Stuart
http://home.comcast.net/~sresnick2/socalled.htm

[Aaron]

I read in New Scientist magazine, on their humour page, a mathematical proof that god does not exist-it went something like:

from a statistical view, the number of possible gods ranges from negative infinity to positive infinity (how there can be a negative infinity of things is beyond me, but I'll trust them here), and the actual amount of gods must be the median of that range, therefore the total number of actual gods=zero

genius