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June 03, 2006


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Hare Krishna

Chant: Hare Krishna

and know ... yo are not God ... so be still.

I'm a bit confused... what is the point of your meditative life? Is it Silence that you seek or the Voice of Love/God/All That Is?

If the divine is capable of communion within a word -or not- then why insist it be transmitted sotto voce?

So much of what I have learned about God, myself and all the in-between has come from my responses to living. At one time the thought of nothing but God and service to God seemed like heaven to me. Emotional and mental pain forced me to find peace within or to seek permanent refuge. I chose to stay out in the world, rather than turning away from life and hiding in the relative safety of the convent. Reaction eventually ceded to (mostly) purposeful action. In understanding myself, I gained understanding of others, and even the occasional glimpse of God.

When meditating I do not so much invite God to perform for me as I converse with God. I often have that change of consciousness; sometimes I re-awaken to new ways of being and doing. I learn best by sharing ideas. Hearing what comes out of my mouth (and keyboard) often produces the most profound revelation.

Of course, tomorrow I may have a completely different response. Isn't that exciting?

To Benandante: Could you please describe in more detail your Occasional Glimpse of God. As stated before in other comments, I am not sitting in judgement of you. I am just interested in the non-ambiguous details.

Roger, I'll do my best to articulate something as profound as my experience of God. I'll warn you now: articulating this kind of experience is difficult.

Some days, I awaken and I feel this presence, this reservoir of love and complete and total safety and ...*attention*. I know my fears and my worries and my burdens can't change who I am fundamentally. There are days that this experience causes me to feel so tiny, my life so insignificant (but not in a bad way) and other days I feel as though every thing I think and do and feel is infused with meaning and purpose.

There are days that my prayers and meditations are to find relief from physical pain, or from emotional stress. Often God is revealed when I have to go back to my daily chores and routine, but trying to be mindful of God. Then a thought, or a person, or a line or two in a book will *speak directly to my challenge*. Or I will have a shift in emotion while in meditation and then that same shift will occur while working and I will discover that something as simple as a body position or something as profound as a word or idea can effect the same change.

At one point in my life, I chose to go live in the mountains, with my tent and backpack for company. This is when I first knew there was truly a God who was connected to me. In an instant, I was aware of all of the opportunities to become that I had overlooked and I knew that my life could be something holy if I would just do my best. It was the most humbling and yet the most thrilling moment of my life. Within my own heart I was disappointed in my own choices and yet I could feel this ecstacy within me, around me, that my life or soul was pleasing to this Infinite Love. From that moment on, I was able to trust the inner voices that had been nudging me for years but that I dismissed as "imagination" or worse. I walked out and beck into my life and "whatever comes next".

I came to terms with my place in the world --somewhere in the middle, not especially gifted, not especially flawed. Today, breathing is a form of meditation. I have been given an amazing gift, I experience pain almost continuously and now I have a condition which makes me feel profoundly dizzy intermittently. Surrender is my refuge, the Divine within the flowers, the squirrels, the mailman, the children -- without seeking God in many forms I would be angry and crying and in far worse pain. I have training wheels: if I try to skip mindfulness, my pain increases.

There is not a day when I do not feel directed in some way to do some thing, no matter how insignificant, no matter how overwhelming the task. This too is my experience of God. When I met my husband, I knew I would have to continue to grow and to be the best person I was able to be in order to keep our marriage strong. This is the same for my relationship with God. I do my best to be my best and I am blessed enough that my best is sufficient.

I glimpsed God when my chidren were born - quiet, awake, not crying at all just observant and wise and so serene. Even the nurses were shocked, the calm they possessed. The pain of childbirth was behind me, I was so grateful I had listened to that voice telling me to refuse drugs during their birth. They were alert and they weren't drugged, they were aware and they spoke to us with their eyes of God. Even the memory fills me with awe.

This week one of my children was upset about a test. A test! And in that instant I became aware that I am also upset over insignificant things! I felt a change, that *shift* that showed me how silly my own anxieties truly are. This is also God speaking to me.

There is one more kind of experience of God that I just cannot describe. Its a hallucination perhaps? or a shift in planes of consciousness? All I can say is that I know God exists, He is not outside of me yet He is all around me, connecting me to everyone. In those moments I am not in my body, I do not feel my body at all. Instead I feel warm, light. I feel so enveloped in a breeze of love and concern. I feel heard, changed, important. I do not return feeling powerful as in "more powerful than". It is more correct to say that I am capable of more. I am able to look at life with new eyes. I see things I missed, I realize how much I love my family and how unimportant the things I focus on so often are truly unimportant.

Is this detailed enough? I do not know how to explain something that goes beyond words. I have experienced detailed, concrete information when I take the time to be still and know the value of shutting of my conscious mind. But, for me, that is when i am able to experience thoughts and ideas that my rational mind could not have known.

I do not use a mantra, but I often sing quietly while working and I have been given amazing ideas, thoughts, awarenesses when I simply put my mind into autopilot. My favorite thing to sing is "the Desiderata", but "Be still and know that I am that I am" is also a favorite.

To Benandeante: Your discussion was very warm and peaceful. I loved every part of it. Your thoughts and ideas are so very similar to those of my own mother.

I liked your statement; I'll warn you now: articulating this kind of experience is difficult. Oh Well, if it was easy, I guess everyone could or would be doing it.

I just wonder, if the so called "Truth of God" is beyond the mind, then how does one ever know what God is? Im mean, I use my mind when I tell someone that I know what I know and I know what I do not know.

Oh well, I think I am starting to get my point all confused.

Finally, many best wishes to you. Thanks for your reply.

Oh well, in an effort to finish my point from my last comment. I would like to say:

If the whole so called "Truth of God" is so emmense that my conscious mind could not comprehend even the smallest portion of it.

How can I make the statement that "I Know God". I am using my mind to make that statement. Does it simply boil down to my
own definition of the word; Know?


If I were you I wouldn't listen to deceived, albeit peacefully, people like benandante. The answer regarding knowing God and the Truth of God is in coming to know Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

In Christ we find that God the Creator came into His Own creation (John 1:1-18). Later He would say in answer to your questions: "I Am the Way and the Truth and life." (John 14:6) In the original Greek Christ is using the word "zoe" for life. It means the source of life itself, and not just He is alive which would be "bios."

In other words, if you truly are serious in your question and not just caught up in postmodern word games over what words mean, you may contact me at www.apprising.org and I will be glad to talk with you further in a non-judgmental way. Because I am not a "right-wing fundamentalist" but a Christian pastor-teacher sent by God.

Pastor Ken Silva;
Thanks for your comment. Could you please tell me, in your own words, what the "Truth of God" is? Could you please tell me, in your own words, how you personally acomplished discovering this Truth? Please answer with specific and detailed information. I would prefer that your response be void of reference to quotes, scriptures, books, pamplets, video tapes, DVDs, web sites, and other forms of communication. Again, please tell me what you specifically know of God and Salvation, in your own words. Finally, I would prefer that you accomplish this task void of any "Dog and Pony" show. Many best wishes to you.

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